So... partly because I was looking for a way to die and partly because I literally had no money... I ran out of food and my water service was disconnected. I still had some bottled water for a bit.
Basically I had 2 weeks of not eating anything, but having a couple of bottled waters per day. Then I had some pennies and bought a few packs of ramen and at those over 3 days. Then I was out of food again and by then had ran out of bottled water also.
So, I had about 5 days of no food and no water at all. I then discovered I could get a trickle out of my faucet even with no water service, and I could manage a couple of cups of water a day that way so I had about a week of that level of minimal water.
It was at that point, 5 weeks of virtually no food and 2 weeks of very limited water, I passed out in my chair. I had been getting weaker if I walked much so I tried not to do much physically... but I passed out 3 times from a sitting position, each time waking up in the floor after being unconscious for some period of time all taking place over a couple of hours.
I went to the hospital the next day because I chickened out and got IV fluids for several days before I was semi-normal again.
Your mileage may vary of course.
Thanks for sharing. From the last few times I've stopped eating and drinking water, I usually lose my vision for about 30 seconds after standing up, about a day or two in. There was one time I stood up, the room went completely blank, and I woke up on the floor.
For me, economic conditions are the primary reason for wanting a way out. Without getting into too much detail, I have had so little opportunity over the last decade. What I deal with is chronic, my immediate surroundings are/were so caustic, and it effects my ability to function when I try to go out. The moments of peace, productivity and stability are continuously and more rapidly being destroyed.
At a basal level, I wanted to have a family and build a future. I am capable of contributing much more than I take. I know I have people who care about me, I have friends, I have talents and I have a unique mind. However, I have been so tortured for so long and denied medical care so many times when needed most, a realistic pathway to living without suicidal tendencies is infeasible. I don't want to be suicidal. But I also don't want to be bound to poverty and destitution by an incurable condition.
Even as the clarity has somewhat returned, the lack of opportunity to survive, let alone thrive, continues to diminish. The future horizon has fluctuated over the past few years, but it's recently collapsed from decades to months or weeks.
I understand I'm answering something I wasn't asked, but someone still drinking coffee (or drinking anything) is not doing VSED.
Fair point. I am not saying I am completely at that point yet, more seeking information so I can plan. None of the methods I have available to me have a high enough mortality rate or are discreet enough for a successful attempt.
I try to maintain a kind disposition as much as possible, because the world needs more kindness and less division. But I am being driven to suicide, including explicit verbalizations.
Additionally, to address an earlier point, I am aware enough to recognize that the majority of suicide attempts/completions are illogical. I make a near complete exception for terminal and debilitating conditions, given consent.
