Relieved knowing I’m going to have an out soon

[sheepgirl]

It's been 10 years since I became suicidal. I've attempted numerous Last year I attempted twice using antifreeze, but ran away from the psych ward to do it so I was found, spent 5 days in icu each time. I've currently been in the psych ward for about 4 months since my last attempt. I think maybe this year I will succeed to ctb. I am almost 23 and life isn't for me. I'm looking at IC at SN and hoping It will pass through nz customs because here you can only get SN with a business or school lincese. I want to have it there for when the time comes, I read about a girl recently who took SN and was dead within the hour. I've heard SN tastes awful but I doubt it tastes worse than antifreeze so I'm not too worried about taste. Maybe things will get better, maybe not but regardless it feels great to know soon I'll have an out that is almost guaranteed if I need it

 

[Ta555]

You've already been 4 months? How do you know they'll let you out?? I hope they do. Cunts.

 

[bennydiazapine]

Im in AUS and managed to get my SN through IC no problems, our customs are very similar so I dare say you'll be fine in getting in landed.

I too am going the SN route in March, and can relate to the relief of knowing the pain is going to end.

 

[FuneralCry]

It does sound horrible to me going through those suicide attempts and being in a psych ward so I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for. I also believe that life is certainly not for me, it's true that some people are not meant for this world and I understand why you would feel so relieved at knowing that you will have the option of a way to exit this world. I believe that those who have SN by their side right now are fortunate.