Reflection and Space

[Water-Lily]

So, I think I've realized a flaw within myself

I realize how I choose to deal with my roomate was emotionally very immature

Its a reflection of how I always dealt with issues in my life

When life was hard, be it hard job, friend issues, etc, I'd run back home

I'd run back home because I know my family, despite how toxic they are, would enable me

They'd insist I was the victim. Insist the other person/people were the perpetrators, and enable this belief that I'm powerless

Thats what I did when turning to the head of dorms at my school

Why he insisted I should talk things out with the difficult roomate

Tbh, it still pisses me off but....yeah

I dunno

I am still waling myself off form everyone

I feel so bad I don't even want to be hugged or physically touched

It might even cause issues for a friend I've been intimate with

I dunno