loveable_lamb
Member
- Jan 20, 2025
- 48
Hey, long time no post. Lots of stuff happened: I'm getting admitted again next week until then there's a mobile crisis team checking in on me once a week. But most importantly, I got my package of H from DN today. Weirdly enough, I'm really doubting if I should ctb now. Being in no-contact with my best friend was painful at first, but now my mind seems to have calmed down a bit by not constantly being reminded of him. Out of sight, out of mind, you know.
I really don't know now. I still think I suffer immensely and being dead would be easier than staying alive, but idk if I can get myself to actually ctb. It's like I need a final twist of the knife to motivate me to take the H. I think I will buy the rest of the supplies (syringe etc) tomorrow so I have them at hand
I really don't know now. I still think I suffer immensely and being dead would be easier than staying alive, but idk if I can get myself to actually ctb. It's like I need a final twist of the knife to motivate me to take the H. I think I will buy the rest of the supplies (syringe etc) tomorrow so I have them at hand
