Venting Realization of how lonely I am and always will be

[Str57]

I have realized how I always end up alone, there is only one person in my life that has been there for me and still cares about me, the rest are just persons I trust a lot and then they leave me behind without an explicaction or do something that my mind can't wrap around so I just end up taking distance until we are complete strangers, not because they necessarily did something wrong, but because I will end up making matter worse for everyone staying by their side. Very few people where exceptions to this and they were awful human beings.
Most of my time is spent alone, and is when I feel the least worried and anxious about everything, but I can't stay alone all the time, even if I wanted, and when I have to face the reality my mind is constantly reminding me the worthless piece of human being I am.
I am just waiting to my latest friends to discover who I am and leave me behind, just like everybody else, and one of them has just started repeting the cycle quicker than I thought, I guess I showed the waste I am sooner than I expected.
Just one person in my life matters to me at this point, and I feel bad to feel relief in the thought of they not coming back, because the last piece of meaning and guilt I have would be lost, and I could CTB with a smile on my face. It would be easier if that person just stop caring about me, like everybody else, it would hurt a lot, but it would make life, and death, more easy to both of us.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

You're not the only one alone. All of my time is spent alone. No family, no friends. It's just the way it is and it DOES suck beyond description. Amongst a few reasons, loneliness is right up there at the top for the reasons I am going to CTB. I exist alone and I'll be dying alone.

 

[dreamscape1111]

before i could truly be with others, i had to learn how to be with myself. as i'm learning to befriend myself, i'm realizing i'll never be alone again. this shows how aligning the inner will attract and change the outer. you are cherished as you are, even with anxiety, loneliness, and feelings of unworthiness. all of those innocent misunderstandings are loved, let them know, i love you.

 

[BBBB]

You're not the only one alone. All of my time is spent alone. No family, no friends. It's just the way it is and it DOES suck beyond description. Amongst a few reasons, loneliness is right up there at the top for the reasons I am going to CTB. I exist alone and I'll be dying alone.

Same with me

 

[outrider567]

Entering my 13th month of being alone, its a wretched life, nothing much left of it but memories

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's better to always be alone as humans just cause more suffering and you just cannot trust them. People have the potential to cause so much harm and this is simply just the reality. It's true that both humans and life itself is the problem.