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Ready to ctb

NotOkay_

NotOkay_

The damage is done, so i guess I’ll be leaving
Dec 2, 2020
238
I've been planning to ctb for over a month now due to excruciating physical and mental symptoms. I tried the edit bag with sedatives in October and i was 100% sure of my decision, no SI WHATSOVER But the method failed and i ended up in the hospital. I've now resorted to Partial hanging after much practice i think I've found how to comfortably do this. I tried to ctb last night but i felt all numb and low key felt myself slipping away but I chickened out and went to sleep. I NEED TO CTB I'm looong overdue, i wish I would've done this much sooner but I didn't have the kind of support I do here ❤️ Reddit is shit :(
 

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RepressedMind

Miss the full ability to think
Apr 24, 2020
160
I'm sorry that life has brought you to this point and I hope that you manage to find peace :heart:
 
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NotOkay_

NotOkay_

The damage is done, so i guess I’ll be leaving
Dec 2, 2020
238
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
It's a shame you're leaving but it's your decision and we respect it.
Hope you find peace, you really deserve it.

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Cry

Cry

Member
Sep 2, 2020
27
I hope this decision brings you peace, good luck <3
 
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justanotherstar

justanotherstar

Life: you can’t fire me, I quit.
Nov 23, 2020
345
I'm sorry it's come to this but I know that you have made the right decision for you. We are here and I hope if you choose it's not your time to CTB that you will come back. Wishing you a peaceful journey
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
Hope you find peace if you succeed. If you won't feel like it today remember is always ok to change your mind. A big hug, you just joined and leaving already :aw:
 
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NotOkay_

NotOkay_

The damage is done, so i guess I’ll be leaving
Dec 2, 2020
238
Sherri said:
Hope you find peace if you succeed. If you won't feel like it today remember is always ok to change your mind. A big hug, you just joined and leaving already :aw:
Click to expand...
I didn't know about this site, if i did I'd have joined sooner :(
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
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Bonkers

Bonkers

Member
Nov 22, 2020
39
Golden_xx said:
I've been planning to ctb for over a month now due to excruciating physical and mental symptoms. I tried the edit bag with sedatives in October and i was 100% sure of my decision, no SI WHATSOVER But the method failed and i ended up in the hospital. I've now resorted to Partial hanging after much practice i think I've found how to comfortably do this. I tried to ctb last night but i felt all numb and low key felt myself slipping away but I chickened out and went to sleep. I NEED TO CTB I'm looong overdue, i wish I would've done this much sooner but I didn't have the kind of support I do here ❤ Reddit is shit :(
Click to expand...
Reddit IS shit! Hope you're feeling comfortable whatever you're doing. No need to rush.
 
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sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,868
Already leaving? I hope you find peace! :heart: Hugs :hug::hug::heart:
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,015
I'm sorry life has brought you to this point, and that we didn't get a chance to know you better. I hope you find the peace and relief you desire.
 
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NotOkay_

NotOkay_

The damage is done, so i guess I’ll be leaving
Dec 2, 2020
238
Bonkers said:
Reddit IS shit! Hope you're feeling comfortable whatever you're doing. No need to rush.
Click to expand...
Everyone on there's just like "things will get better, be positive " when that's not true
 
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_Kaira_

_Kaira_

This Isn't Fine
Oct 2, 2020
825
Golden_xx said:
Everyone on there's just like "things will get better, be positive " when that's not true
Click to expand...

Toxic positivity rarely helps people as lost as some of us are. Some just never realize that.

In any case. I'm sad to see the desperation you feel that you need to go so soon. I respect your decision, and hope you find the peace you seek.
 
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J

justsad&done

Visionary
Nov 11, 2020
2,804
I'm sorry for your mental and physical pain. I hope you are able to find peace and comfort :hug::hug::hug:
 
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profoundexperience

profoundexperience

You can feel the punishment but you cant commit ts
Jun 29, 2020
436
Golden_xx said:
I tried the edit bag with sedatives in October ... But the method failed and i ended up in the hospital.
Click to expand...
Do you happen to know why the exit bag failed for you? Were you using inert gas?

Wishing you great wellness, @Golden_xx...
 
NotOkay_

NotOkay_

The damage is done, so i guess I’ll be leaving
Dec 2, 2020
238
Last edited:
Bonkers

Bonkers

Member
Nov 22, 2020
39
Golden_xx said:
Everyone on there's just like "things will get better, be positive " when that's not true
Click to expand...
I've found this is the only place I can be completely honest, and that in itself is a relief / comfort. To be understood and not judged. Freedom to say what's true without fear of huge unhelpful and damaging over reactions. Say 'out loud' what's been running through my head for most of my life.

Golden_xx said:
Everyone on there's just like "things will get better, be positive " when that's not true
Click to expand...
 
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