Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[DumbGirl]

Wishing you a good journey..


8 - 9. Wanna get attested my last will by a notary public first.
Then make sure I got the right rope. I can't fail. Would be horrible.

Your message almost made me cry somehow, thank you!

 

[S like Siren]

10
I am going literally crazy in being with myself and my thoughts 24/24...i can't stand it anymore,i just want stab myself!!!!

 

[Anonymus]

8

I've been at this level for months, this is not going well at all.
//
Porto mesos en aquest nivell, això no va pas gens bé.

 

[Anonymus]

8

 

[Praestat_Mori]

currently 8

 

[アホペンギン]

10

 

[Anonymus]

8

No m'atraveixo pas a matar-me però ho necessito... això és una sobirana merda!!! // I don't dare to kill myself but I need it... this is sovereign shit!!!

 

[LivedTooLong]

7-8. Struggling to think about anything else.

 

[ddonnieddarko]

today was a 7

 

[SSamGarrison]

3

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

10

 

[vampire2002]

it fluctuates from day to day. today, i'd say it's about a 5 or 6. nothing too bad, but i'm still not feeling great.

 

[wheezle42]

9 maybe 10, don't recall ever being so close

 

[MDMA]

9

 

[SmollMushroom]

Currently 8.
If I get to 10 I just jump out of a window.
But it's getting close to 9.

 

[Orange Cat]

9

 

[Kundalini Guy]

3

 

[letmejoindeath]

11. I have already decided it's a sure thing. I'm over everything. If I try to envision my future now there is nothing there.

My date is coming up before years end. Wont be posting on here when I do it though. One day I just won't be here anymore.

 

[noname223]

6,5. Since college started my depression and anxiety got so much worse. I was able to fall asleep yesterday without addictive medication which was a success.

The bipolar woman I texted is annoyed by my negativity. There are many things I could say about her. I was there for her when she felt bad and she did not the same for me. I increasingly dislike her. Still I like to message her. I could better talk to her when she was delusional. And if past patterns repeat she will be delusional relatively soon.

In the college self-help group there are so many people with better life quality. I envy them. And I am scared how people judge me in real life. Especially at college.

I am just a bitter, resentful, lonely and deeply unhappy person.

However I am so fucking glad to have this forum. It is the best place to vent.
My best friends were overwhelmed by my need to express myself combined with the severe daily suffering.
My dad is often also overburdened. I rarely talk openly with my mom on how much I struggle since her stroke. I opened up to my grandma some months ago about my pain and well she was shocked.

 

[tiger b]

6 or 7

But today is a bad day and new meds for my diabetes are taking some getting used to. I'll cut myself some slack for doing nothing but blitzing this forum today. I hope I haven't been annoying.

 

[deadbody]

6

 

[ddn.ctb]

Currently 8 with 10 and an opportunity in the works

 

[Praestat_Mori]

currently 8

 

[emptyshell]

Right now its a 4

but a diabetes diagnosis might be on the horizon
Already underweight and struggling with food

 

[tiger b]

Right now its a 4

but a diabetes diagnosis might be on the horizon
Already underweight and struggling with food

You have my sympathy with that. I'm really struggling with my diabetes now, dka has taken a long time to not entirely recover from. New meds are taking a lot for me to get used to.

Let's hope you're pre-diabetic.

 

[Akanea]

Between 2 and 3 in the day, 4 to 5 at night

 

[BlazingBob]

8. My neurological sleep disease is making my life a living hell. I want to go to sleep forever.

 

[Proxycake]

I am going through one of the worst few weeks I've had in a long time, I'd say 10. Suicide is all I can and will think about, because it distracts me from all of the things that repetitively go wrong around me

 

[Orange Cat]

8

 

[noname223]

4,5.

Pros:
I like my college courses way more than the ones of the last semester
I texted a college friend again since a long time and we talked more about private stuff, he asked me whether we want to meet

cons: my mom is in a pretty bad health condition I am scared she might die and I would be forced to kill myself soon. There would be no other option for me in this case

I cannot go to the halloween party of my friends due to some private issues, this made me pretty sad

since college started my depression and anxiety got worse. And from time to time I am pretty paranoid