around 6-7, I'm frustrated with where I'm at in life and feel incredibly insecure and worthless right now. I've been moving forward in my life from a terrible dark point in my life and it all seems so worthless now, like it was such a waste of time because at the end of the day I still feel unfulfilled. I'm envious of my friends who are experiencing good things happening to them, I try so fucking hard but everything seems so stupid. I don't think I can ever reach a breaking point, whenever I get dark it's like there's some omnipotent hand pulling back, something whispering into my ear to scare me of death, and then all I can do is sit there and stare into nothing. it's like I'm deliberately designed to only suffer, only in marginal amounts tho it's not like my life is in shambles or anything but like enough to where everything is hopeless.