whatevs
Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
- Jan 15, 2022
- 2,914
4 today. But been hanging at 8-9 as of late.I came into some magic mushrooms so I do have some hope nature might fix nature, if only fir a little bit. I honestly don't want to CTB but options are like dollars in my wallet. Not many.
SN shipment got screwed up so new bottle in route. What a comfort to have a plan and ability. It's always just been a plan and the ugh of "What if?".
I think I'm at 7/10. I want to go already, sometimes the thought of dying never leaves my head throughout the day. But when I spend time doing stuff I like, I'm not complaining. The other 3 points are my will to live, I guess.1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.
My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.