Venting Random venting ig

[thetruetato]

At this point, I have attempted suicide and failed more than 30 times. I see no real future for myself and I have no friends or social connections in my life. It's been well over a year since there was one full day where I didn't want to die. And yet I can't even succeed in doing the thing I think about over and over every single day. Metaphorically similar to supercooled water, well past the freezing point but still a liquid because it has nothing on which to form crystals and freeze. I wish I had access to a gun or some other painless method so I could end my suffering.

 

[Ozzyno]

Well yea the problem is going away painless, I think most of us on this site would already be dead if it was that easy.

Some of us don't want to hurt their families and some other are just too scared of doing it.

 

[thetruetato]

Well yea the problem is going away painless, I think most of us on this site would already be dead if it was that easy.

Some of us don't want to hurt their families and some other are just too scared of doing it.

Honestly I would be okay with a non-painless method but they tend to either have low success rates or fail if SI kicks in. I have tried full suspension hanging in the past but couldn't bring myself to kick the chair far enough away from me. A good example of a non-painless method that doesn't require you to overcome SI is cyanide. It can cause death very quickly from oxygen deprivation but unlike SN it cause a panic response from the suffocation.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to painlessly free myself from all the suffering, it feels so cruel to me how I cannot just have the option to die in peace and never suffer again. But anyway I wish you the best.