I'm currently trying to sign up for disability insurance. If that works out it would mean that I wouldn't have to live in severe poverty anymore and I could maybe have a more dignified life. I could actually afford decent food from time to time. I don't know if they will accept me, it's not that easy apparently. But I can't work in my current mental state and I hope I can make that clear in my application. But I'm calling it now. If it fails and I have to remain my life in poverty, not being able to afford anything, while dealing with all my mental issues, I'm gonna ctb. It's the last attempt to somehow turn my life around. I'll know probably in February.