Today I once again realized the importance of looks. I notice it every day everywhere. It's everyone. Looking good helps you a lot even if you're the most fucked up person. If you look good people forgive you. Man all of that is so fake.
If a person is born with good genes they did not do anything to deserve that. I don't know why they treat them better than the rest. I know it's part of their animalistic instincts but still...being human means to get rid of this animalistic part. Becoming more...
When I look around all I see is a society built on sex, power, money and drugs. Lies everywhere. Every smile is fake. Every relationship based on sex,fame, status, money or power.True love does not exist here. It is very rare to see that.
People think about their lives in terms of pleasure. I often hear these people talking about destiny and god. Yet their belief in it is allowed by pure chance. They are the priviliged, the lucky ones. Because they had such luck they can believe in it. Is it destiny to end up homeless, beaten to death etc...?
I was once in love with a women.She was the only person I ever cared about or took interest in. I was rejected and it broke my heart. I eventually got over it but it caused a domino effect. I learned to see the world in it's true colors. This was the moment live really went downhill for me. Everything collapsed, one after one.
But it has also made me aware of everything. I am no longer asleep like the rest of society.
I don't fit in anywhere. I am the outcast, I have always been. This sucks but I won't change for anyone or anything. I'd rather die as an honest person than conform to a sick society.
All the "friends" I used to have are gone. This is a small town so everyone knows each other. They hate me and I honestly can't wait to get the hell out of here.
It's so sick and it hurts to think about it. The one person I cared for has become that which I despise the most and there's nothing I can do to change it.
I am left with noone. I am alone and it does not bother me.
I have been unable to find people like me. Maybe here there are a few but none that live close by. Besides the time for friends has passed.
It hurts knowing I am not normal. I am the weirdo and does it ever really pay off? Not for everyone. Maybe for a few smart people but not for people like us.
I do not want to be a part of society and I do not want to be a loser.
I wish there was a world for people like us.