Random thoughts

[Alecsa]

I'm such in a hurry to CTB, I can't even be bothered to think of what's on the otherside. The urge is strong. I can't wait til I get everything I need :D

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Redirect Notice

On the one hand, it's a dailymail. On the other hand, hope.

 

[spanishguy22]

living life with MDD is like having sex with 20 comdoms

 

[Roberto]

living life with MDD is like having sex with 20 comdoms

What is MDD?

 

[chlorine]

What is MDD?

Major Depressive Disorder

 

[Seaghost]

Was necessary to go into city cause of an important appointment. Thought I would explode every moment.
There were no time and too much people so it wasn't possible to get charchoal.
It's good to be home now. Safety home . Feeling empty inside but with so much pressure.
Failed once more.
It hurts.

 

[Omega7]

This is scary

 

[gnrluver0105]

Today was a though day for me, 6 months and I can't forget her... And my work buds get mad at me for not going with them to a bday party (aka drink), and I was with my family, why the people are like that? It seem they always want more and more from you...

 

[Roulette]

Strange. For the past two days I couldn't access this website. Thought it was down. Checked other places and nobody was talking about it being down. So i finally checked if its actually down using one of those websites and this place is still running. I'm here now using a vpn... have I missed something?

 

[noonetoo]

Today I sat in the shower, just sat and stared at the wall for over an hour. Turned off the water in between to be considerate of the bill of course. The day was going good until that moment. It's like the shower is this place where I can space out and start deeply thinking, too deep. And it drags me down. Like sinking to the bottom of the ocean and trying to swim back up but there's an anchor attached to my feet. Breaks me down every time.

 

[Bärchen]

Was necessary to go into city cause of an important appointment. Thought I would explode every moment.
There were no time and too much people so it wasn't possible to get charchoal.
It's good to be home now. Safety home . Feeling empty inside but with so much pressure.
Failed once more.
It hurts.

order charchoal online

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Strange. For the past two days I couldn't access this website. Thought it was down. Checked other places and nobody was talking about it being down. So i finally checked if its actually down using one of those websites and this place is still running. I'm here now using a vpn... have I missed something?

It got banned in Australia, maybe that's why?

 

[Memento Mori]

weed is life, weed is love

 

[Roberto]

"I think about how angry I was that my dad didn't take better care of himself. How he never went to a doctor, let himself become grossly overweight, smoked three packs a day, drank like a fish and never exercised. But then I think about how his colleague mentioned that, days before dying, my dad had said he lived a good life and that he was satisfied. I realize that there is a certain value in my father's way of life. He ate, smoked and drank as he pleased, and one day he just suddenly and quickly died. Given some of the other choices I'd witnessed, it turns out that enjoying yourself and then dying quickly is not such a hard way to go "
From wikipedia's Hugh Everett biography
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Everett_III

 

[suffering]

I've recently recalled various cringey stuff I've said, done or thought in the past. And it puzzles me. I consider myself extremely self aware. And I see cringe-ness as a sign of lack of self awareness. How can someone lack so much self awareness at a time and other time be so self aware? It shakes a bit the perception I have of myself. Am I overestimating my self awareness? Or was it that I was just too young? Was it that I changed for the better?
The memories of my cringey behaviour sometimes give me so much pain that I start to make sounds or to talk to myself ("Oh, how could I have said that?! What the hell!!!")

 

[Memento Mori]

I've recently recalled various cringey stuff I've said, done or thought in the past. And it puzzles me. I consider myself extremely self aware. And I see cringe-ness as a sign of lack of self awareness. How can someone lack so much self awareness at a time and other time be so self aware? It shakes a bit the perception I have of myself. Am I overestimating my self awareness? Or was it that I was just too young? Was it that I changed for the better?
The memories of my cringey behaviour sometimes give me so much pain that I start to make sounds or to talk to myself ("Oh, how could I have said that?! What the hell!!!")
View attachment 10197

you're not the only one

and that pic is lovely lol, gonna download it

 

[thatguyakira123]

I am at the early stages of not being able to function. Over the past few days, things that I've been able to do, small things, thing I've got down to a t, I've been screwing up. This is due to the fact that I've been overthinking every little thing. This use to happen when I was a teenager but I mange to bring it under control when I was 24. I think my anxiety is why it happens. I was really depressed before my birthday and today I finally had sometime to cut myself. Now I used a new blade and I knew with new blades you have to do it a certain way or you might make a huge and possibly deep scratch. And like an idiot I didn't prepare it and did it the wrong way and got a deep noticable cut on my hand.

Granted it's not deep for stitches, I don't think it's one quartar of an inch deep, but it's still noticable. While my mind was trying to find a way to not make it noticable ironically I was calm. My mind was going a mile a min and my heart was beating fast but I wasn't that scared. It was like "yeah I knew I'd even screw this up despite having experiance in it. Managed to clean off my hand and put a plaster on it. I put on my hoodie and made the excuse I was cold. My mom is going out tomorrow so I'm gonna say I got it by falling off my skateboard. But honestly this tanked whatever self esteem I had left after this month. I honestly don't know what I'm doing anymore.

 

[AhG]

I have become an adrenaline junkie. My family is starting to say that I'm doing dangerous things to suppress my heartache and truthfully, they're right. I have come close to death twice now since I've started. I jumped off a bridge and into some rocks sticking out and barely survived. I only say "barely" because when I jumped, I dived face first and missed a huge rock you could barely see above water. It was inches from my head. The second time is where I was climbing up a tower without anything holding me and made it up and just sat at the edge afterwards, looking out into the city below me. I stood up after overthinking and started to slip, but I caught myself. Each time I was close, I felt an amazing rush of emotions. Now everytime I go outside, I'm trying to recreate that moment, maybe if I fail it'll look an accident now.

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

I didn't know I liked watching snooker.

 

[Memento Mori]

soon...

 

[Roberto]

I'm a bit drunk. But I'm still bound to this world. My cats are the best.

 

[Memento Mori]

boring as hell even on psychoactives

 

[throwaway777]

i feel so alone

 

[silentsinger]

i feel so alone

PLEASE talk to me if you want to.

 

[Roulette]

I just want to end it all now
Once in a blue moon i'll be hit with this rock called loneliness and it hurts for awhile. Idk Why. I want to be alone and isolated. total erasure of my existence would be nice

so many contradictory thoughts i wish everything would stfu for a moment.

 

[Manaaja]

Why did people have a much better sense of humor ten years ago? I'm tired of losing Internet friends just because I like to make small, harmless jokes.

This actually happened to me some time ago:

Friend: "I can't play the newest Persona game, because I don't have a PS4. :("
Me: "Don't you guys have phones?" [with a link to Blizzard's Blizzcon's Diablo Immortal fiasco Youtube video]
Friend: gets really offended, removes me from their friend list and blocks me

Ten years ago I could have said to them: "Persona is a stupid franchise for kids and you should feel embarrassed for liking it." and they'd have replied "I know, but I still like it because the battle and social mechanics are cool. XD"

I miss the Old Internet. :( Oh well, back to playing Persona 5.

 

[Memento Mori]

may pass out from (idk 60?) 60mg bnrzos and different alchold plus weed im honna continue the progress of floating away bu i guess i wont en dup dead. no interest in fuckin hospital no insureance this tping is hard so i love you all and wish for you find a way to looose the need to ctb
se eya wen im back from y escapades

aarrrrrrrrrriiiiiiivvvvaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

[DeadlyLiving]

I kinda wish my drug addicted mother would move back in, because I am pretty sure that would finally be the last push for me to finally ctb. No way am I going to live with that stupid bitch again. Although my death won't be some kind of revenge, that will be clear in my death note. Doesn't matter how much I hate my mother I don't want her to suffer from the guilt of her dead daughter or my grandma to be angry at her. Why? Cause I am not such a horrible person like my mother

 

[Painpleasure]

Life, and human beings by extension, only truly care about pleasure (aka the release of dopamine and related neurotransmitters). Every living thing is thus inherently hedonistic. Selfishness is therefore not a vice nor a virtue but a mere trait of those in existence.

 

[Roberto]

may pass out from (idk 60?) 60mg bnrzos and different alchold plus weed im honna continue the progress of floating away bu i guess i wont en dup dead. no interest in fuckin hospital no insureance this tping is hard so i love you all and wish for you find a way to looose the need to ctb
se eya wen im back from y escapades

aarrrrrrrrrriiiiiiivvvvaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I bet you'll enjoy a nice trip. When I want to ctb, that kind of relax is like being in heaven.