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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

:( precisely as ugly as Sidney Sweeney :(
Sep 19, 2023
2,223
🎶
I starred in every high school play
Blew every drama teacher away
I graduated first in my class at Juilliard
Took every acting workshop I could
And I dreamed of Hollywood
While I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bard
Hit the boards and paid my dues
And got phenomenal rave reviews
I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt

I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phone
Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone
But the years have come and gone
And I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out


I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride 🦁
Skipper Dan is the name 🤠
And I'm doin' 34 shows every day
And every time it's the same :I
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears 🦛 👂
Just like they've done for the last 50 years
Now I'm laughin' at my own jokes but I'm cryin' inside :pfff: ;-;
Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride


Oh, the critics, they used to say
I was the new Olivier
Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance or maybe Cannes

Aw, but don't bother tryin' to IMDB me
The only place you might possibly see me
Is ridin' my little boat around Adventureland
It ain't exactly what I planned


But I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride 🦁
Skipper Dan is the name 🤠
And I'm doin' 34 shows every day
And every time it's the same
I would've killed if I'd been in "Speed The Plow"
But what's the difference, that's all behind me now :I
Cause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin' my pride
And I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride


I should be there on Broadway
Knockin' 'em dead in "12 Angry Men"
But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokes
Again and again and again and again and again and again and again!!!



"Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet! 🐯"
"That's an African bull elephant 🐘"
"And there it is, the backside of water! 🌊"
"What have I done with my life?! :'("



I should'a' listened when my grandfather said: 🧓
"Why don't you major in business instead?"
Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died ☠️
And I'll probably work forever

as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride 🦁
Skipper Dan is the name 🤠
And I'm doin' 34 shows every day
And every time it's the same
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin their ears 🦛👂
Somebody shoot me cause I'm bored to tears -_-🔫
Always said I'd be famous . . . I guess that I lied
Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride

I'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride
 
heywey

heywey

Student
Aug 28, 2025
137
I might go losing it and drive off of a cliff, fall in the void
And if I blow my brains out all over the scene
That's madness curing sadness
These walls ain't talking back might as well finally paint them black
I'm out of ideas
The ceiling is all I have downward from here, I'm ripping apart

Who am I? Who are we?
Who am I? Who are we?
All I want is to feel complete
Who am I? Who are we?
 

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