PTSD has ruined my entire life and it never stops.

[tinystomps]

I can seriously go from smiling one minute to crying and feeling suicidal in the span of a few hours. It's crushing. The memories are crushing. The feelings of worthlessness and brokenness are crushing. It feels like a giant, 300lb weight is on me and I can't push it off so I just lay here as it slowly crushes me to death. PTSD is hell and it's killing me. I feel like a fragile glass statue ready to shatter at the slightest touch. I am insanely vulnerable and sensitive. I feel physical pain constantly due to my body's psychosomatic pain as a result of PTSD. It just hurts.

Update: The more I think about it, the more I just feel tired of people trying to save me. I don't want anyone to save me anymore. I just want people to respect my choice and free will and not view it as cowardice or a moral sin / failing.

 

[greencondo]

sorry that you are here and having to feel this way, I cant add anything other then saying that it can be pretty awful.

 

[tinystomps]

sorry that you are here and having to feel this way, I cant add anything other then saying that it can be pretty awful.

I know things will get better and everyday I get stronger but I'm so tired of life being a fight. I'm tired of fighting to keep going. I've been fighting against my demons my whole life and it gets tiring sometimes. I just need to rest a while.

I'll be okay, I won't do it because I can't do that to my family especially my nephews who just moved in and they will miss me so much, but sometimes I'm not okay and I can't pretend to be much longer.

 

[MBG]

I can seriously go from smiling one minute to crying and feeling suicidal in the span of a few hours. It's crushing. The memories are crushing. The feelings of worthlessness and brokenness are crushing. It feels like a giant, 300lb weight is on me and I can't push it off so I just lay here as it slowly crushes me to death. PTSD is hell and it's killing me. I feel like a fragile glass statue ready to shatter at the slightest touch. I am insanely vulnerable and sensitive. I feel physical pain constantly due to my body's psychosomatic pain as a result of PTSD. It just hurts.

I've read psychedelics, like magic mushrooms, have helped treat treatment resistant depression and PTSD. There's been a lot of new research over the past decade. Do your due diligence by researching a LOT online first. Bad trips are avoidable.

Oregon and Colorado have legalized some psychedelics. Massachusetts and other states are considering legalizing some and many cities have decriminalized some. Support Decriminalize Nature online.

 

[MBG]