Psychiatric hospital stay. did this happen to anyone else?

[Armadillo]

How was your experience in psychiatric hospitals, if you had one? But most importantly how long have you been kept there?
I'm asking this because I have read some threads on the topic and altough the experience is almost never enjoyable for people I keep reading that usually the doctors let you go after some weeks, a month, a month and a half at maximum.
Well I'm almost a month out of that hellish place and guess how much I've been kept there? Almost five fucking months. I still can't believe I'm finally "free". That was a goddamn prison sentence w/o having committed any crime.
And for what? A failed attempt? I'm not psychotic, violent, I'm not dangerous for other people. What's the problem if I want to ctb? I'm 19, I can think clearly, I know what's best for me.
Last time it was 2 and a half months, the one before 1 (forced ospitalization because my doctor thought I was hurting myself with IV drug use, when actually it was a time in my life I was almost keeping my shit together, I was so much more functioning than now and I was doing very well at school). The time before that 1 month, forced hospitalisation again. The reason? I refused to see a psychiatrist and try the billionth shitty antidepressant that did absolutely nothing. The first time just 10 days of hospitalization (I was still underage) so I guess I can't complain about that...
And the things I saw in those places... I can just say they fucking make me lose faith in humanity.
I had to tell the doctors how the medications that they were prescribing me worked under the pharmacological profile because they didn't know shit, I got addicted to benzos 'till the point i could barely crawl out of bed without them, but God forbid that I use opioids to self-medicate 'cause those are drugs that destroy lives... fucking hypocrites.
I've seen people sleep 20+ hr a day because they were on mastodontic dosages of anti-psychotics + benzos; a guy came in looking relatively normal (just depression and a cocaine problem), in a few days he couldn't even fucking articulate a sentence because of how much overmedicated he was. Once an old man was choking on some water because of AP-induced tardive dyskinesia; I've seen people getting tied up to the bed for days on end without any valid reason, others were getting extremely dangerous medication cocktails and put at risk of serious conditions like seizures and serotonin-syndrome; one night a man (really a beautiful person btw, when an ex-cop decides to illegally give you the oxycodone he had at home without asking for any money to give you a few days of relief from the unbereable psychological pain you're in... what can you say?) was screaming and crying because of back pain and the answer of the doctor and nurses was "We already upped the dosage of his painkillers, he'll be ok, mind your own business". You stupid whore, he's sick and you're a doctor, do your fucking job!
And I could go on forever but I'll stop here. It sounds like a joke but this is a real-life horror story. I can't believe how people can be so stupid and insensitive.
The only positive thing about those places IME is that you can find folks who understand you because they know how you feel, you are not judged or made feel guilty. I've made a lot of friends in there and some of them i kept seeing even after i got out.

Anyway sorry for the rant, I just needed to take this off my chest. I hope my english is decent and everything is understandable.

TL;DR: have you ever been to a mental hospital? For how long? Were you forced or it was a free decision? Is there somenthing of your permanence (both positive or negative) that you want to share?

 

[Jen Erik]

That sounds incredibly shitty. Was it a private, for-profit facility?

 

[Roph]

I've had stays ranging from five days to seventeen days. The seventeen-day stay involved coordinating a place to go (I was homeless) after I left. None of my stays came even close to five months.

 

[Armadillo]

That sounds incredibly shitty. Was it a private, for-profit facility?

No, it was a public hospital.

 

[your pathologist]

I was in a psych ward on an upper state hospital wing or 14 days.
I was on a full page of antidepressants/antipsychotics and then the second page of medicines I was on was just to combat the side effects of the first page of medicines.
My experience was being treated like I was crazy and a hypochondriac when told something was affecting me a certain way. I was on 150mg of sertraline and it gave me such bad constipation I couldn't shit for 5 days and with 3 mandatory meals each day I felt like a bursting balloon. Instead of find a different antidepressant they just tried to give me laxatives and suppositories in order to relieve it which didnt even really solve the issue just covered it up.

I was self admitted because of drug withdrawal insomnia but said I'd kill myself if no one could solve my issue, and in psych I went.

I ended up not taking most my meds by the end because they werent helping, and after 14 days, I lied and said I wasnt suicidal anymore to just try and find a way out.

Terrible places.

 

[AveryConure]

A while ago I had a psych think I should go back to the hospital and I pretty much said I could literally accomplish the same thing they do in psych hospitals and just lock myself in a room for 3 days and force myself to do nothing but color with shitty colored pencils and it would have the same effect as me being in there for 3 days and wasting everyone's time.

She ended up not admitting me.

 

[your pathologist]

A while ago I had a psych think I should go back to the hospital and I pretty much said I could literally accomplish the same thing they do in psych hospitals and just lock myself in a room for 3 days and force myself to do nothing but color with shitty colored pencils and it would have the same effect as me being in there for 3 days and wasting everyone's time.

She ended up not admitting me.

Oof.

One of the things I hate the most is when even the doctors/psychologists think the system is bullshit or unusable.
Scary

 

[AveryConure]

Oof.

One of the things I hate the most is when even the doctors/psychologists think the system is bullshit or unusable.
Scary

At least they're honest about it with me at this point but yeah it's kind of sad.

 

[MAIO]

How was your experience in psychiatric hospitals, if you had one? But most importantly how long have you been kept there?
I'm asking this because I have read some threads on the topic and altough the experience is almost never enjoyable for people I keep reading that usually the doctors let you go after some weeks, a month, a month and a half at maximum.
Well I'm almost a month out of that hellish place and guess how much I've been kept there? Almost five fucking months. I still can't believe I'm finally "free". That was a goddamn prison sentence w/o having committed any crime.
And for what? A failed attempt? I'm not psychotic, violent, I'm not dangerous for other people. What's the problem if I want to ctb? I'm 19, I can think clearly, I know what's best for me.
Last time it was 2 and a half months, the one before 1 (forced ospitalization because my doctor thought I was hurting myself with IV drug use, when actually it was a time in my life I was almost keeping my shit together, I was so much more functioning than now and I was doing very well at school). The time before that 1 month, forced hospitalisation again. The reason? I refused to see a psychiatrist and try the billionth shitty antidepressant that did absolutely nothing. The first time just 10 days of hospitalization (I was still underage) so I guess I can't complain about that...
And the things I saw in those places... I can just say they fucking make me lose faith in humanity.
I had to tell the doctors how the medications that they were prescribing me worked under the pharmacological profile because they didn't know shit, I got addicted to benzos 'till the point i could barely crawl out of bed without them, but God forbid that I use opioids to self-medicate 'cause those are drugs that destroy lives... fucking hypocrites.
I've seen people sleep 20+ hr a day because they were on mastodontic dosages of anti-psychotics + benzos; a guy came in looking relatively normal (just depression and a cocaine problem), in a few days he couldn't even fucking articulate a sentence because of how much overmedicated he was. Once an old man was choking on some water because of AP-induced tardive dyskinesia; I've seen people getting tied up to the bed for days on end without any valid reason, others were getting extremely dangerous medication cocktails and put at risk of serious conditions like seizures and serotonin-syndrome; one night a man (really a beautiful person btw, when an ex-cop decides to illegally give you the oxycodone he had at home without asking for any money to give you a few days of relief from the unbereable psychological pain you're in... what can you say?) was screaming and crying because of back pain and the answer of the doctor and nurses was "We already upped the dosage of his painkillers, he'll be ok, mind your own business". You stupid whore, he's sick and you're a doctor, do your fucking job!
And I could go on forever but I'll stop here. It sounds like a joke but this is a real-life horror story. I can't believe how people can be so stupid and insensitive.
The only positive thing about those places IME is that you can find folks who understand you because they know how you feel, you are not judged or made feel guilty. I've made a lot of friends in there and some of them i kept seeing even after i got out.

Anyway sorry for the rant, I just needed to take this off my chest. I hope my english is decent and everything is understandable.

TL;DR: have you ever been to a mental hospital? For how long? Were you forced or it was a free decision? Is there somenthing of your permanence (both positive or negative) that you want to share?

In my experience and the vast amount of people I know staying in a psych hospital can be good if you have something like schizophrenia, suicidality not so much. Suicidality should not be treated like a mental illness becuase we don't even know if life is actually worth it or not. It's just a value-enforcing a value onto someone based off of feelings is just wrong. Especially when rather than caring about quality of life you care about quantity. Oh Suicide is often fluid therefore it's should be stopped at all. Like wtf are these people on?

 

[scales]

I went last night, voluntarily. They didn't even admit me after doing a psychiatric evaluation.

They were surprisingly really nice, several people remarked that I don't seem to belong there, I even told them about my attempt with SN and how I feel I have the right to die.

My reasoning for wanting to die is a medical problem that if fixed, would pretty much make my desire to die 0. They offered some advice and a referral I hadn't thought of or knew of that might help the problem, consulted a few people including my family members etc. and determined I was not a risk to myself. They were right, I may have been a risk going in but with their advice I got some hope for the medical problem.

Overall, pretty good experience.

However, I did spend that time period in the same place of the hospital's psych ward as admitted patients. I had to wear their terrible scrubs that feel like paper and are see through, plus awful socks. They even want your underwear apparently, but I didn't remove my bra and no one questioned it. There was basically 0 privacy but there was a TV. The food was pretty good honestly, though the bathrooms were abysmal. They checked on the patients pretty regularly, someone was always coming by to check on them. It was very quiet, no one talked to others much. The staff, including the security guards, were very respectful even when a patient said weird things (or were seeing things that weren't there) but honestly it felt like nobody really wanted to be there I don't think I saw many smiles there at all. I could totally see that type of environment making mental illness like depression worse instead of better.

Also there was a security guard there at all times with every person who entered. When taking me to the psych ward two security guards followed behind, which was really weird but makes sense I guess since the criteria for admitting someone to a psych ward is "danger to themselves OR others."

I didn't stay long enough to know of any group activities, I just know we all generally didn't talk much. Oh and, there were very strict rules and timings for things like there was only one hour a day during which you could make a phone call and had 10 minutes to do it. It was also very cramped so it sucks if you're claustrophobic.

 

[gingerplum]

Tried it once; big mistake. I won't go into the details, but I was held against my will and mocked by the staff. Cost me my career as a nurse. I never imagined such inhumane treatment was possible.

Want to end up more depressed and hopeless? Ask for help.

 

[scales]

In my experience and the vast amount of people I know staying in a psych hospital can be good if you have something like schizophrenia, suicidality not so much. Suicidality should not be treated like a mental illness becuase we don't even know if life is actually worth it or not. It's just a value-enforcing a value onto someone based off of feelings is just wrong. Especially when rather than caring about quality of life you care about quantity. Oh Suicide is often fluid therefore it's should be stopped at all. Like wtf are these people on?

Agreed. I got the impression from my experience that it can be useful for disorders like schizophrenia but based on my knowledge of depression and suicidal ideation it would not help and may actually make it worse.

 

[Dog Food]

I went twice, once for anorexia and bulimia and once for a suicide attempt.
The first time I had a feeding tube for about 3 days, after which they forced me to eat around 3000 calories a day (my estimate) of shitty school lunch type food. They also watched me whulw I went to the bathroom. My stomach wasn't used to it, so I threw up a bunch, which they made me clean up while berating me. There was also an abusive nurse who hut me when I did so.

In both places because I was a minor they decided to play music 12 hours a day, either smooth jazz or Kidz bop, because anything else was harmful.
For my first day in the second place,
they restrained me on the bed because I was "fighting back."

I was in high school at the time, and they didn't allow me access to my school work because it would "stress me out." I ended up missing 3 months of school. They also didn't have any books except for kids books that didn't mention suffering or pain, again to guard against stress. There was a kid who threw his own shit.

 

[Help_Me]

I once had such experience. They told me i'm ok and were giving me some sort of sleeping pills only...

 

[scales]

I went twice, once for anorexia and bulimia and once for a suicide attempt.
The first time I had a feeding tube for about 3 days, after which they forced me to eat around 3000 calories a day (my estimate) of shitty school lunch type food. They also watched me whulw I went to the bathroom. My stomach wasn't used to it, so I threw up a bunch, which they made me clean up while berating me. There was also an abusive nurse who hut me when I did so.

In both places because I was a minor they decided to play music 12 hours a day, either smooth jazz or Kidz bop, because anything else was harmful.
For my first day in the second place,
they restrained me on the bed because I was "fighting back."

I was in high school at the time, and they didn't allow me access to my school work because it would "stress me out." I ended up missing 3 months of school. They also didn't have any books except for kids books that didn't mention suffering or pain, again to guard against stress. There was a kid who threw his own shit.

Wow that sounds super lame. Restraining people should just be illegal. I understand their desire to reduce stress but you shouldn't try so hard to reduce stress that you create stress via boredom.

I'm sorry your experience with the nurse was so bad as well.

 

[worldexploder]

I was in psyche once in 2015 after an OD attempt. Spent 6 days with psychiatrists trying to convince me that life is a positive imposition. I cooperated to the fullest extent so I could get out ASAP. The food was good at least.

 

[Ghab]

The whole reason society wants to keep you is so you keep paying to the government, the more people in the world the easier it is for some guy high up in an office to take advantage of you. Your family wants you to die on their terms, to society, apparently you can do anything with your life as long as you don't kill it.

 

[Skathon]

>"Have you ever been to a mental hospital?"
Yes.
>"For how long?"
Three weeks.
>"Were you forced or it was a free decision?"
I was given a consent form to sign while being unable to read at that moment (blurred vision, diplopia).
>"Is there somenthing of your permanence (both positive or negative) that you want to share?"
I... I would prefer to not remember those fragments again.

 

[Eowyn]

... And the things I saw in those places... I can just say they fucking make me lose faith in humanity.

Agreed, there is nothing like a stay in a mental hospital to break what little faith you have left in humanity.

Unfortunately been there myself, in the UK you get 'sectioned' under the mental health act (despite suicide being decriminalized in 1961, it is apparently still worthy of locking you up, albeit in a mental hospital instead of a prison.. but w/e because we are already trapped in biological prison of flesh).

1st time: 3 days before Christmas 2009. Zopiclone overdose. Transferred after awaking from coma.
2nd time: 3 weeks in July 2016 -voluntarily- after taking Amitriptyline /Pregabalin overdose and slitting throat.
3rd/4th/5th time: approx 3 months in and out April to July 2017 - involuntarily - multiple Amitriptyline overdoses.
6th time: 8th October - 24th October 2018. Involuntary. Charcoal burning, nitrous oxide, self inflicted stab wounds, diphenydramine/pregabalin OD. Hopefully that time will be the LAST time.

Despite the fact that I have never had any formal diagnosis, do not take any medication for mental health; only prescribed pain meds (that I am no longer allowed), they deemed it necessary for "my own good" to be in there.

The only thing it does is make you weep for humanity, and gives you even more reason to ctb. Having no desire to live IS NOT a medical condition, no amount of "professional" intervention is going to give you a valid reason to continue with life.

 

[hikikomori]

the one who flew over the cocos nest comes to mind

 

[MAIO]

Tried it once; big mistake. I won't go into the details, but I was held against my will and mocked by the staff. Cost me my career as a nurse. I never imagined such inhumane treatment was possible.

Want to end up more depressed and hopeless? Ask for help.

It cost you your career as a nurse ?!

 

[MAIO]

Agreed, there is nothing like a stay in a mental hospital to break what little faith you have left in humanity.

Unfortunately been there myself, in the UK you get 'sectioned' under the mental health act (despite suicide being decriminalized in 1961, it is apparently still worthy of locking you up, albeit in a mental hospital instead of a prison.. but w/e because we are already trapped in biological prison of flesh).

1st time: 3 days before Christmas 2009. Zopiclone overdose. Transferred after awaking from coma.
2nd time: 3 weeks in July 2016 -voluntarily- after taking Amitriptyline /Pregabalin overdose and slitting throat.
3rd/4th/5th time: approx 3 months in and out April to July 2017 - involuntarily - multiple Amitriptyline overdoses.
6th time: 8th October - 24th October 2018. Involuntary. Charcoal burning, nitrous oxide, self inflicted stab wounds, diphenydramine/pregabalin OD. Hopefully that time will be the LAST time.

Despite the fact that I have never had any formal diagnosis, do not take any medication for mental health; only prescribed pain meds (that I am no longer allowed), they deemed it necessary for "my own good" to be in there.

The only thing it does is make you weep for humanity, and gives you even more reason to ctb. Having no desire to live IS NOT a medical condition, no amount of "professional" intervention is going to give you a valid reason to continue with life.

So I knew a guy who was having financial difficulties and told his conservative family about his suicidal thoughts, so they immediately overreacted and called the cops on him. He ended up In a psych ward for a while. He ended up with this huge hospital bill for tens of thousands, losing his job and felt the stay did not help him at all.The irony was he thought the main reason he was suicidal is financial difficulties which were now so much worse than before. Yet professionals record these as wins since genuially speaking if you want to get out you lie. What matters is saving life since. Fuck quality just quantity. Seriously those zero suicide fuckers are pro suffering.

 

[Skathon]

I... I would prefer to not remember those fragments again.

Although... A few, perhaps?
To feel how the brain dies and the heart starts to fail... That was the first time when I categorised something as painful enough for me.
In addition to that and many other wonderful symptoms, during and a month after my hospitalisation I slept no more than 1-4 hours per two days, and all of my dreams consisted of repetitive chasing, drugging, murder, torture, and being unable to leave the location/building, which also caused nausea (vertigo?) for some reason.
It felt like a combination of lobotomy and alcoholic delirium.
...that was not very informative, I suppose. Should I delete this comment?

 

[Fucking loving it]

My longest stay was 2 months. We traded meds and got fucked up.

 

[Armadillo]

My longest stay was 2 months. We traded meds and got fucked up.

Same. We even managed to sneak in alcohol and hardcore drugs. Also I was able to steal quiet a lot of medications when the nurses weren't watching.
At least we had some fun

 

[Empty Smile]

I just got released after spending 5 months with all the other loonies. It was ok for the most part. I kept to myself most of the time, refusing to speak or eat. There was some real nut cases, and some who were just like us, they want out. I didn't recommend this site to any of them, as you never know who you can trust.

The nurses and doctors were ok to a point. They only became irritating as fuck when they start barraging you with questions about your attempt. Can't make em happy, no matter what you say.

 

[piratemaverick]

A while ago I had a psych think I should go back to the hospital and I pretty much said I could literally accomplish the same thing they do in psych hospitals and just lock myself in a room for 3 days and force myself to do nothing but color with shitty colored pencils and it would have the same effect as me being in there for 3 days and wasting everyone's time.

She ended up not admitting me.

so true! and the music coloring sessions are insane!!

 

[Letting Go]

I have been hospitalized for mental health issues five times over the years. The first was for a failed suicide attempt in 2001, the second and third were from a psychosis episode that I went through in 2005, and the ones from this decade were from me having mental breakdowns that stemmed from extreme sexual frustration and loneliness. The length of my stays ranged from a few hours to several weeks.

My overall experience was awful. The power-tripping nurses and guards showed me how despicable humans can be when they have full control over someone who is basically imprisoned. The other "inmates" were a mixed bag. Some were cool, but others came this close to getting their fucking heads bashed in!

The fear of hospitalization -- and going through that hellish experience again -- is one reason why you won't see me making any lame suicide attempts. When it's time for me to catch the bus, I'm getting all the way on!

 

[kkatt]

How was your experience in psychiatric hospitals, if you had one? But most importantly how long have you been kept there?
I'm asking this because I have read some threads on the topic and altough the experience is almost never enjoyable for people I keep reading that usually the doctors let you go after some weeks, a month, a month and a half at maximum.
Well I'm almost a month out of that hellish place and guess how much I've been kept there? Almost five fucking months. I still can't believe I'm finally "free". That was a goddamn prison sentence w/o having committed any crime.
And for what? A failed attempt? I'm not psychotic, violent, I'm not dangerous for other people. What's the problem if I want to ctb? I'm 19, I can think clearly, I know what's best for me.
Last time it was 2 and a half months, the one before 1 (forced ospitalization because my doctor thought I was hurting myself with IV drug use, when actually it was a time in my life I was almost keeping my shit together, I was so much more functioning than now and I was doing very well at school). The time before that 1 month, forced hospitalisation again. The reason? I refused to see a psychiatrist and try the billionth shitty antidepressant that did absolutely nothing. The first time just 10 days of hospitalization (I was still underage) so I guess I can't complain about that...
And the things I saw in those places... I can just say they fucking make me lose faith in humanity.
I had to tell the doctors how the medications that they were prescribing me worked under the pharmacological profile because they didn't know shit, I got addicted to benzos 'till the point i could barely crawl out of bed without them, but God forbid that I use opioids to self-medicate 'cause those are drugs that destroy lives... fucking hypocrites.
I've seen people sleep 20+ hr a day because they were on mastodontic dosages of anti-psychotics + benzos; a guy came in looking relatively normal (just depression and a cocaine problem), in a few days he couldn't even fucking articulate a sentence because of how much overmedicated he was. Once an old man was choking on some water because of AP-induced tardive dyskinesia; I've seen people getting tied up to the bed for days on end without any valid reason, others were getting extremely dangerous medication cocktails and put at risk of serious conditions like seizures and serotonin-syndrome; one night a man (really a beautiful person btw, when an ex-cop decides to illegally give you the oxycodone he had at home without asking for any money to give you a few days of relief from the unbereable psychological pain you're in... what can you say?) was screaming and crying because of back pain and the answer of the doctor and nurses was "We already upped the dosage of his painkillers, he'll be ok, mind your own business". You stupid whore, he's sick and you're a doctor, do your fucking job!
And I could go on forever but I'll stop here. It sounds like a joke but this is a real-life horror story. I can't believe how people can be so stupid and insensitive.
The only positive thing about those places IME is that you can find folks who understand you because they know how you feel, you are not judged or made feel guilty. I've made a lot of friends in there and some of them i kept seeing even after i got out.

Anyway sorry for the rant, I just needed to take this off my chest. I hope my english is decent and everything is understandable.

TL;DR: have you ever been to a mental hospital? For how long? Were you forced or it was a free decision? Is there somenthing of your permanence (both positive or negative) that you want to share?

Five months is really harsh.
My first admission was for refeeding.
The second was back when psych wards were used for drug detox.
The third time was the longest stay,being three months. I was considered to be "dangerous".
It was pretty terrifying at times. The staff did nothing to make a safe environment. Disturbances were "monitored and recorded",then discussed at patient reviews with doctors.I also experienced being under "24 hour watch",which means a staff member follows you everywhere for at least 24 hours. They have to watch you constantly.
They

 

[Ampsvx123]

Never again, the only thing that kept me going is knowing that it could still be worse, I could still be at auschwitz. I have been blessed as they only kept me a month and a half there for suicidal thoughts, just enough so I didn't get addicted at the high dosage of 3risperidone they were force feeding me. I have gotten fooled by society who preech that suicidal citizens should seek mental help, fuck, they don't know what they are talking about,there is none to be found in a psych ward. Here in quebec, They only want to keep you there as long as they can, to milk as much money from the governement. They also want to make you addicted to these pills so that you have to remain your whole life on them. Those pills are fucking dangerous, they will give you akathesia, drastically slow your brain to the level of a retarded being and most of all restlessness. The inability to sleep, to be happy, to be at peace. They'll even steal your thoughts and your dreams, one of the only place where one can still feel at peace. By then, you long for death, the only thing that can put an end to this widewake nightmare. That can give you back the dignity they have stolen from you.