Procrastination

[niiina]

After my latest failed attempt, I took some time to calm down since my body and my SI were protesting against a new attempt, I took some time to cool down and today I started to come back to my senses and as it took the whole day and my father was to arrive I thought ok I'm calmer now and will go peacefully tomorrow, I feel good to go. I redid my ligature with my bed sheets and was feeling good once again to ctb.
Ok.
My father arrives and reminds me tomorrow is a holiday (I had no idea since I lose count of the days) and invites me to go chill and bath in a waterfall with him. Saying no he would probably just stay at home with me.

You got to be kidding me. I'm really mad at myself for procrastinating. I should have ignored my body and my SI. I'm stupid to leave for tomorrow something that's inevitable, this is the path I choose, why the fuck am I leaving it for tomorrow?

Tomorrow never comes. That's my lesson.

I'll go with my father and have this last memory together, but I'll never more leave it for tomorrow or for later. I'm ready to go, I should have gone SI attacking or not.

 

[FuneralCry]

It does sound frustrating being in that situation, but of course after all suicide can certainly be difficult, it's like the SI exists to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped here in this world. But I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[deadliftEnjoyer]

Waterfall with the pops sounds fun, tho
Perhaps one last good memory?