I was forced to do therapy after my first attempt back at the end of 2018 beginning of 2019. It was terrible because in my country while the free healthcare is somewhat better than nothing for something like free Therapy is almost impossible for you to get the same professional to talk to you, so I had spent 3 months one time per week telling the same story for different therapists never the same. After that, a friend found for me a private one that charged an OK price, and we start doing it.
At the beginning, it was helpful to make me stop blaming myself for all that happened to take me to try to kill myself, but it didn't take long for me to still get to a point where I still had no reason to live.
I still wanted to die because my reality can't be changed without money and the things that make me happy are all out of reach. At this time I also took medication because a private Doctor felt sorry for my situation and prescribed for me for free, it didn't help much because most of the internal struggles were or had being solved.
What remained making me unhappy is the environment and daily life I hate, but still I took medication for about one year and a half and did therapy for almost 5 years when I gave up this year.
Talking on therapy is only helpful with you have the resources (money) to change or work on the things that you make your life miserable, otherwise is just really paying someone to talk that is what I believe.
The reason is that back in 2022 I found the love of my life, and she basically saved me from here and for the first time in my life I was able to love someone I always dreamed of, truly lived life and was grateful to be alive.
That didn't last long because I was blocked on a trip by the end of 2024 where I was going to do Volunteer work for 3 months, so I could get back to her like I was doing.
But even with all the documents the officer blocked me and I had not much I can do and had to come back to the shithole in Rio, Brazil I came from.
It all came crashing down to a point where today she blocked me and I lost all my life and all the things I did in exchange for my terrible life with my family back.
I straight up gave up on therapy because my therapist gave me a lot of bad advice while I was still with her. And I am taking medication without a doctor just to try to get by a little longer, but I am almost ready to kill myself and I hope I won't fail this time.
I can't recover my life alone, and I can't make enough money to even get close to the happy life I had not to mention I have no obligations, with children animals or else the only person I own is my life partner that I am no sure even will talk to me again and in that scenario is impossible for me to ever give back all the gratitude I was ready to spend my life giving back to her.
In my case, I can assure you is not helpful at all as most of my problems come from external force I don't have money to change, I have experienced first hand how I was recovering in every aspect of life when I was truly living the things I love.
So therapy for me is a completely useless waste of money at this point.
But I do believe therapy is extremely helpful with you get a good professional like I did, and you have more resources (whatever your specific situation needs) to get better.
It is not a miracle, but you need to use as a tool for your progress.
So I guess I will kill myself folks
Thank you for reading it