Venting pointless suffering / useless existence

[nails]

i have nothing to offer and no chance of ever being happy, i never did. even if everything went right, there was no way i'd ever want to live through this existence. i'm so pissed that i'm alive. why did i have to be born? why couldn't we get another productive individual who has a chance to live a happy life? why'd it have to be me? such a waste. i've never done anything meaningful and i never will.

i never stood a chance and suicide was inevitable from the moment i was born because i was born wrong and i'll never be normal. it's not fair. why can't i at least live out my final months peacefully? it's so cruel, i was never going to be happy, but shit keeps getting thrown my way. i've already acknowledged that i'd have to die no matter what and that i'll never be able to live with any semblance of happiness, but nothing goes my way and i'm not even given the privilege of temporary joy.

it doesn't even feel like the universe is testing me anymore, it feels like the universe is being needlessly cruel and unfair.

i've already given up, so just give me a fucking break.

 

[genie]

Have you looked into the philosophy of efilism? A lot of it related to what you've posted. Millions of people feel how you feel so you're not alone.

 

[Afterglow]

i've never done anything meaningful and i never will.

if you've made others smile or laugh, then you have had meaning and imimpact. hang in there friend. we're rooting for you.