Im 50. And please dont take my message as preachy, and also please dont think I dont hear your pain, bc i do. But Id never forgive myself if I did not speak up. I must tell you, 99% of my happiness has occurred after 23 yrs old. When you are young, this is your greatest time and opportunity for change and growth. Ive lived it. Ive seen it. You dont FEEL it while youre young and IN it. Its something you look back at when youre my age, wishing you knew then what you know now, as the cliche goes. Everything is raw and amplified when youre young. Its not until youre my age that you realize and see the utter irony and beauty in that.
The alcohol and drugs are self medication. Which is perfectly natural and healthy in fact to seek relief from pain. However, theyre depressants and or other things messing with your internal chemistry. Even when not drunk or high youre affected by substances bc its not like they just vanish from your system and voila youre pure and balanced bc you came down.
These things affect your internal balance and ultimately your perspective, and this applies to all ages. Please listen to an old lady LOL when I say, please get clean for at LEAST a couple/few months before you make your final decision. You really have no idea what may happen in your young life that brings you joy, when your chemistry is more balanced and you have a change in perspective. I give you these words of wisdom LOL bc I have to have learned SOMETHING in all these years :)