J

Jumpingfrom14floor

New Member
Jul 23, 2019
3
Anybody going off the same timing as me? Would like to keep chatting to keep myself sane till the deed.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I'm sorry about everything that's led you to this. If you want to tell us about it, we'll listen.
 
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A

Arbie

Member
Jul 20, 2019
45
Here if you want to talk
 
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J

Jumpingfrom14floor

New Member
Jul 23, 2019
3
First of all my girlfriend's mum got liver cancer, she has always been the love of my life, but she's been avoiding contact and all the support I gave, I know having a loved one getting cancer will kill yourself inside slowly, but the thing is even though I tried my best to console her she just pushes me away and say that we're better off as friends.

Secondly, I have never been one to be frugal with money, in a huge load of debt trying to destress myself from my anxiety. How I wish I was stupid and not find out how we are slaves to the society if you aren't rich enough, working for others yet we get a small portion of what they earn.

Note that my girlfriend has been there for me throughout these trying times consoling me and telling me to buck up, now in her case she just pushes me off when i want to be there for her.

Lastly, as I thought this world is just to harsh for me, I know I'm one of the "fortunate" guy here as compared to those of you who are suffering way worse than me and I greatly sympathise with all of you who are worse.

This era is just so bad towards our generation, even if you work hard, you're just working hard for like 10%? What's the point of living if you are aware of this...
 
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Enigma

Enigma

Member
Jul 20, 2019
14
Give your girlfriend some time to try to come to terms with her mom's illness. Not sure if she has just found out and the wounds are fresh right now, but even if that isn't the case she is likely a mixture of sadness and anger. Please just be patient, her pushing you away may just be temporary given her circumstances. I'm sure you know people can act irrationally in difficult times. Sit with your feelings for now, and just give her some space. In the meantime be kind to yourself. Go out with friends if that is an option for you, or just spend time alone watching some movies as a distraction.
 
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A

Arbie

Member
Jul 20, 2019
45
Thanks for sharing all of that.
Fortune is overrated, we all have things to be grateful for, I think that is what makes taking your own life feel so guilty and shameful...we think we are sinning against all the good that has been given to us.
Pain is pain is pain, doesn't matter what it looks like, it all feels the same. Your pain is as real as anyone else's and it feels like it isn't going to end.
Please don't jump.
I am having the same feelings about debt...I went from wealthy to more debt than I will ever get out of and I don't want to face it.
I'm glad your here, and sharing your story, you helped me to get outside of myself. :))
 
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V

Vegetto

Member
May 29, 2019
15
Jumping..., having dealt with suicidal thoughts both before and after being diagnosed with an irreversable illness, I can tell you right now that I was a complete fool thinking about ending it before my current predicament happened (hindsight is 20/20, but I REALLY wish I'd seen how fortunate I was before I got diagnosed).

If you're concerned about the current era, please keep in mind that nothing stays the same. Things come in cycles, and as far as I can tell the Trump era is the last gasp of the deregulated corporate globalization period that began with Reagan and Thatcher. The tide looks like it'll be turning pretty heavily in the 20's. To further go with that, we live in the most peaceful, nonviolent time ever, at least in the West. Do your best to make things better on a micro-level first. Don't worry about society, at least for now.

As for your personal problems with debt and your SO - do you mind if I ask how old you are?
 
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J

Jumpingfrom14floor

New Member
Jul 23, 2019
3
Give your girlfriend some time to try to come to terms with her mom's illness. Not sure if she has just found out and the wounds are fresh right now, but even if that isn't the case she is likely a mixture of sadness and anger. Please just be patient, her pushing you away may just be temporary given her circumstances. I'm sure you know people can act irrationally in difficult times. Sit with your feelings for now, and just give her some space. In the meantime be kind to yourself. Go out with friends if that is an option for you, or just spend time alone watching some movies as a distraction.

It's been 3 weeks..
Jumping..., having dealt with suicidal thoughts both before and after being diagnosed with an irreversable illness, I can tell you right now that I was a complete fool thinking about ending it before my current predicament happened (hindsight is 20/20, but I REALLY wish I'd seen how fortunate I was before I got diagnosed).

If you're concerned about the current era, please keep in mind that nothing stays the same. Things come in cycles, and as far as I can tell the Trump era is the last gasp of the deregulated corporate globalization period that began with Reagan and Thatcher. The tide looks like it'll be turning pretty heavily in the 20's. To further go with that, we live in the most peaceful, nonviolent time ever, at least in the West. Do your best to make things better on a micro-level first. Don't worry about society, at least for now.

As for your personal problems with debt and your SO - do you mind if I ask how old you are?
I turned 28 2 days ago.
Thanks for sharing all of that.
Fortune is overrated, we all have things to be grateful for, I think that is what makes taking your own life feel so guilty and shameful...we think we are sinning against all the good that has been given to us.
Pain is pain is pain, doesn't matter what it looks like, it all feels the same. Your pain is as real as anyone else's and it feels like it isn't going to end.
Please don't jump.
I am having the same feelings about debt...I went from wealthy to more debt than I will ever get out of and I don't want to face it.
I'm glad your here, and sharing your story, you helped me to get outside of myself. :))
Main concern for me is probably that I have to face it with my family.. They have always been disappointed with me throughout the years I lived, I don't have the heart to spring this on them..
 
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sunny.sativa

sunny.sativa

organic
Apr 2, 2019
317
I hope you find peace. I hope closure is created between you and the things you love. Best of luck.
 
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G

Godofdeathftw

Every ounce of suffering is because of life
Jul 8, 2019
91
RIP OP or nah?
 
A

Arbie

Member
Jul 20, 2019
45
I had to completely walk away from my entire family, my kid, parents...everyone. They were what was making me crazy in the first place.
Family can do a lot of damage in the name of love.
Stop believing there is something wrong with you that is so abnormal, embrace the character in you that you girlfriend sees and loves. I know it's hard to live for other people but she apparently gets you and has stood by your side... you owe her another 24 hours.
 
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Enigma

Enigma

Member
Jul 20, 2019
14
I hope you're still here. 3 weeks is not much time at all to give someone stricken with grief. Talk to your girlfriend, tell her how you feel. Right now you may need to make it all about her.
 
marcusuk63

marcusuk63

CTB
Mar 24, 2019
1,735
A member i have been chatting with on a regular basis has messaged me his goodbye from Beachy Head this morning ,
I wont post his name as he hasn't posted anything on the boards about it

rest in peace mate it was nice chatting
 
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Kikoo Loool

Kikoo Loool

Enlightened
Feb 25, 2019
1,128
A member i have been chatting with on a regular basis has messaged me his goodbye from Beachy Head this morning ,
I wont post his name as he hasn't posted anything on the boards about it

rest in peace mate it was nice chatting
Thank you for sharing. May he rest in peace.
 
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J

Jessica5

Specialist
May 22, 2019
347
The OP's profile says he was last seen today at 7:12 AM. That means he hasn't jumped, unless he's done so in the last 2.5 hours.
 

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