pogostick
Member
- Jul 29, 2025
- 85
I was thinking about waiting until bonfire night on the 5th (as opposed to Monday 3rd) but I've decided not to for a few reasons.
• To watch the fireworks, I'd miss the train I've used for every previous attempt. It would just fuck up my routine.
• I'd have to kill 3 hours between the fireworks starting and the train coming (after already doing shit for the whole day), I want there to be no time for doubt to build.
• It doesn't matter if I get to see them or not, really. If I kept putting off my date for things I was looking forward to then I'd probably just keep dragging myself along
• I'll have to go to uni or miss two days and I don't want to do either.
I'm just going to wake up at around 2pm, go for food by myself and have a couple drinks. My intention is to be quite drunk. I was tipsy last time but not drunk, really. Then go to die.
I've found that going to pubs really induces a suicidal feeling in me, I don't know why, but whenever I'm there I just want to take the bus right to the train station and kill myself, so maybe if I'm lucky that'll happen this time too.
I'm gonna try and follow the same process I did last time which is just KEEP BUSY. Don't stay doing one thing for too long. The only thing I need to get off my ass and do is make some video diary entries for specific people. I've got around 25 total entries in there right now, probably at least an hour of me waffling.
One thing I always say I'll miss when I die is my bed. My warm toasty bed and my heated blanket, so I'm just gonna make the most of it, I guess.
• To watch the fireworks, I'd miss the train I've used for every previous attempt. It would just fuck up my routine.
• I'd have to kill 3 hours between the fireworks starting and the train coming (after already doing shit for the whole day), I want there to be no time for doubt to build.
• It doesn't matter if I get to see them or not, really. If I kept putting off my date for things I was looking forward to then I'd probably just keep dragging myself along
• I'll have to go to uni or miss two days and I don't want to do either.
I'm just going to wake up at around 2pm, go for food by myself and have a couple drinks. My intention is to be quite drunk. I was tipsy last time but not drunk, really. Then go to die.
I've found that going to pubs really induces a suicidal feeling in me, I don't know why, but whenever I'm there I just want to take the bus right to the train station and kill myself, so maybe if I'm lucky that'll happen this time too.
I'm gonna try and follow the same process I did last time which is just KEEP BUSY. Don't stay doing one thing for too long. The only thing I need to get off my ass and do is make some video diary entries for specific people. I've got around 25 total entries in there right now, probably at least an hour of me waffling.
One thing I always say I'll miss when I die is my bed. My warm toasty bed and my heated blanket, so I'm just gonna make the most of it, I guess.
