Plan ready to go, not sure what I'm waiting on....

[Humdinger2023]

I'm at the point where I am visually trying to see myself jump from the ledge, thinking about the steps that will lead me there, including ordering an Uber and deciding whether or not to leave my phone behind. Should I also leave my wedding and engagement ring at home? I can't keep living in complete despair and agony. I'm giving myself a deadline of Sunday overnight. I've become a complete shell of the person I used to be… I physically look so altered, I've lost all traces of the happy and vibrant person I used to be years ago. I'm devastated to leave my family behind, but I feel like I offer them nothing by continuing on as a failure. I wish I could get over my fears and just make this plan happen. I know this post doesn't have a lot of specifics, it's just me chiming in and wishing I could be more brave.

 

[SVEN]

So many of us are living such lifes of quiet despair, Humdinger. I can say nothing,just wish you peace and a settled soul in whatever resolution you come to.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds really awful what you've been through and I certainly hate how difficult suicide is in this world, I admire the bravery of those who managed to ctb by jumping. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.