Icarus
Member
- Jul 25, 2019
- 76
This resonates so much with me.
I feel as if I'm disappearing a little more each day. I'm so angry and confused inside that I'm afraid of myself. I feel so alone. I feel as if I'm drowning, fading faster and faster into the night with each passing day. Lately, I'm finding it harder to remember what I've done from one day to the next. I feel so afraid and alone. All my life is crumbling, and I'm vulnerable and so tired. What if I can't find my way out of all this pain? The pain washes over me in great waves. I want to reach out to someone, but I don't know how or who, or if I even can. My pride still lingers, though. I feel as if my soul is dying. My will to live is being tested. And day after day, the pain won't go away. I honestly don't know how much more I can take. I'm not suicidal, but I'm scared, embarrassed, and I've isolated myself from the immediate world. I just yearn to escape from my pain. I don't know how else to do it. I'm frightened to be alone. I don't trust myself not to do anything stupid on a daily basis. My normal level of confidence seems so distant that it's barely memorable. I'm a fighter, but my energy level has almost dried up. I'm getting too weak to fight on my own. I really hate this person that I've become. I'm now but a shadow of myself. But what if no one believes me? What happens after everyone has turned their backs on me? What if I become such a burden that I'm simply swept aside? I'm afraid that I'm losing my mind. God help me, I've said and done things that I cannot believe that I've said and done. It feels like I'm someone else, like someone is trying to take over my thoughts. I cannot believe what I've become.
I feel as if I'm disappearing a little more each day. I'm so angry and confused inside that I'm afraid of myself. I feel so alone. I feel as if I'm drowning, fading faster and faster into the night with each passing day. Lately, I'm finding it harder to remember what I've done from one day to the next. I feel so afraid and alone. All my life is crumbling, and I'm vulnerable and so tired. What if I can't find my way out of all this pain? The pain washes over me in great waves. I want to reach out to someone, but I don't know how or who, or if I even can. My pride still lingers, though. I feel as if my soul is dying. My will to live is being tested. And day after day, the pain won't go away. I honestly don't know how much more I can take. I'm not suicidal, but I'm scared, embarrassed, and I've isolated myself from the immediate world. I just yearn to escape from my pain. I don't know how else to do it. I'm frightened to be alone. I don't trust myself not to do anything stupid on a daily basis. My normal level of confidence seems so distant that it's barely memorable. I'm a fighter, but my energy level has almost dried up. I'm getting too weak to fight on my own. I really hate this person that I've become. I'm now but a shadow of myself. But what if no one believes me? What happens after everyone has turned their backs on me? What if I become such a burden that I'm simply swept aside? I'm afraid that I'm losing my mind. God help me, I've said and done things that I cannot believe that I've said and done. It feels like I'm someone else, like someone is trying to take over my thoughts. I cannot believe what I've become.
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