Venting I live in a state of constant fear

[redkitsune98]

Is it like this for anyone else?
I'm afraid of staying alive and how my pain only grows each day. I'm afraid of death and what could be after it, or maybe nothing. I'm afraid to hurt the people I love. I'm afraid of the opportunities I might miss. I'm afraid of the books and TV shows and events I'll miss out on. I'm afraid of death being painful and desperating. I'm afraid of so many things and it consumes me...

 

[bitofftoomuch]

Yeah. I just want to stop feeling afraid, and idk how to. if I could switch it off I'd probably not be on this forum. I hope to find a way to, I really do.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Yes....
I've been like this since I was a child.
Fear, Anxiety, Depression. Didn't know what any of that was at the time.
I just want someone to hold me. Sounds weak coming from a guy.
I don't know how much I fear death anymore.... I haven't tried to CTB in a few years though, maybe less.

 

[redkitsune98]

Yes....
I've been like this since I was a child.
Fear, Anxiety, Depression. Didn't know what any of that was at the time.
I just want someone to hold me. Sounds weak coming from a guy.
I don't know how much I fear death anymore.... I haven't tried to CTB in a few years though, maybe less.

I'm a guy as well. It feels weird to day that one single hug from my ex could've fixed this. But i didn't even get a goodbye. All I want is for someone who isn't obligated to care about me (i.e. family) to care anyway and hold me while i break down

 

[Demian]

Last year I thought: "I'm going to take the medication in such quantity that, even if I regret it, there'll be no turning back". Then 10 minutes passed and I didn't faint. Then I had a panic attack, asked for help and, by some miracle, here I am after 22 days in a Glasgow 3 coma (the deepest).

I have SN now, because I can't find morphine and phenobarbital any more. I'm really afraid of taking the SN and, I don't know, something happening. I'm preparing my mind, but it's hard.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Yes I suffer from the paradox of not wanting to be alive yet afraid of being dead.

 

[redkitsune98]

Last year I thought: "I'm going to take the medication in such quantity that, even if I regret it, there'll be no turning back". Then 10 minutes passed and I didn't faint. Then I had a panic attack, asked for help and, by some miracle, here I am after 22 days in a Glasgow 3 coma (the deepest).

I have SN now, because I can't find morphine and phenobarbital any more. I'm really afraid of taking the SN and, I don't know, something happening. I'm preparing my mind, but it's hard.

If you decide to do it, I hope you are able to succeed

 

[overmorrow]

I relate a lot, especially to being afraid of death, but it have been a thing I can't change, it's just wired in my brain to be anxious honestly, though, it is what it is brother.

 

[Demian]

I relate a lot, especially to being afraid of death, but it have been a thing I can't change, it's just wired in my brain to be anxious honestly, though, it is what it is brother.

I agree with you.

 

[Defenestration]

Is it like this for anyone else?
I'm afraid of staying alive and how my pain only grows each day. I'm afraid of death and what could be after it, or maybe nothing. I'm afraid to hurt the people I love. I'm afraid of the opportunities I might miss. I'm afraid of the books and TV shows and events I'll miss out on. I'm afraid of death being painful and desperating. I'm afraid of so many things and it consumes me...

Same....little less because not work now
But with sévère social phobia ans généralised anxiety disorder....Always fears

 

[L'absent]

I'm just afraid of the pain before the end. The rest doesn't matter to me. Everything here disgusts me, including TV series and programs.

 

[redkitsune98]

Fear of death is kind of built in factory settings i guess

 

[Mirrory Me]

I don't even remember when I have watched some TV show. It's more fun to observe the reality the way it is and also how it's being imagined.