Venting People think I'm lazy

[AnonymousL]

So I started working for a few months after not being able to do so for a year or more and then I just started spiraling down this empty dark hole again. So I had to quit my job due to wanting to end everything.
Now I can't tell my parents cause they won't understand.
My boyfriend knows and he just admitted that he thinks it's cause I don't like working. He said that he doesn't think I'm lazy but that I just don't like working and that I realized work is not fun and that I rather be home.
He says he doesn't wanna move in because of this. It's not the only thing because he wants to get his drivers license first but one of the criteria is that I need to have a stable job as well..

It does sound like he's saying I'm lazy in a sugarcoat tbh.


And this just made everything so much worse.

I cant tell him I'm suicidal so I told him he doesn't know what goes on in my head so he doesn't know why I quit my job. I loved my job. But I just couldn't handle it anymore.
So I said you can't have a judgement over me for quitting my job if you don't know what's happening inside my head. And he just said that it's normal to hzve a judgement over things.

I just wanna end it. I cant do this anymore.
I was doing better for a few months and now I'm just back at 0

 

[divinemistress36]

It sucks a lot people think we are just lazy cause we cant work