Venting People reaching out when its already too late

[TeflonMummy]

I just think its quite funny how some people I haven't talked to in months/years have randomly decided to "check in" on me the closer I get to actualization for CTBing. I guess its no surprise to the people I still talk to that me randomly going radio silent and cutting my future plans seems suspicious. But the random "Hey how are you doing?"s the closer I get only seem to make me want to do it more. People I used to go to school with only coming back now to haunt me as I make the final decisions about my life. I wish I could disappear without a trace.

Part of the reason I want to CTB so bad is the same people that disallow me from really living the free life I want to. The social consequence for actually living who I want to be will simply forever be too high, and by the time these people do leave my life; it would be far too late into the future to make these changes.

At this point I'd rather just die alone.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's really understandable just wishing to disappear, such a thing has always sounded so ideal to me but anyway I wish you the best with your plans.