Venting Comparing your feelings to people with physical chronic illness?

[mold]

In recent days, while I wait for my SN and other materials, I feel as though I've been preparing myself for death like I would as though i have some sort of chronic, terminal illness. I know its not really fair to compare myself to people who want to live but can't, but I feel as though I prepare myself the same way (at least what's shown in those "end of life" prep kits or papers).

It feels somewhat unfair, there's all these good people, who genuinely want to live and have no choice whether they live or die, but I'm a bad person who is choosing to die.

Maybe I'm biased since one of the people who pushed me to the edge had terminal cancer, and used it as an excuse to bully me (literal textbook definition of bullying, excluding me from spaces with my own family/irl friends, calling me names, etc.), so I feel less empathetic because of PTSD, but I still feel like its unfair for me to feel. Does any of you understand how i feel? Idk, maybe I'm just insane and selfish, maybe this is normal. I'm super drunk right now so maybe I'm not thinking clearly.

I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just coping and talking out my ass cause I'm not sober. I just wanted to vent how I felt. I felt this way somewhat sober as well. Hope you're all well.

 

[iCryInMySecretSpot]

well, im unable to experience joy, anxiety causes near panic attacks every night, i cant get out of bed, i dont have the energy to do anything, every night i have to fight the urge to choke myself, i am unable to have sex because of ptsd, i find it difficult to speak to people. i think i have it "easier" than people with physical illnesses because at least i can sleep and sometimes experience happy moments. also, i think my problems are fixable.

 

[Anarcholoser]

I'm physically disabled, have been on my death bed due to physical illness, and also have lived with severe mental illness almost all of my life. Honestly, I don't think there's as much of a difference between physical and mental illness as people like to believe. There is considerable overlap. And in the end, whether it's your brain or another part of your body that is not functioning properly, often times there will be a great deal of suffering.

Just my perspective as a cripple :)

 

[Bishop]

Both are equally miserable. We are all suffering and in pain.

 

[squiddedoutt]

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