Palliative care?

[urgent]

Is anyone from N.Y. on palliative care or know anyone who is that has a doctor who supports eol options like pain medication for VSED or palliative sedation or just adequate pain meds for comfort care at home? I'm sure most of you know we are labeled drug seekers or suicidal even if we aren't. Some psych meds are pushed on us for pain because they don't want to prescribe pain meds anymore that causes suicidal thoughts. I'm sure many of you were given meds that cause this if you were or not. They make you afraid to ask for help when you're in pain. People are forced into treatment they don't want or need. We should be able to talk honestly without fear if we want to discuss eol. Obviously if we need help we should be able to talk to a doctor without the fear of being committed against our will. I think we should have the choice to be honest and it should be proven if someone really needs to be in a ward. I know many people who want to talk about eol for different reasons. It doesn't mean we aren't competent. I can understand why we all deserve the right to autonomy. If we could freely discuss our feelings and thoughts a lot of people would probably be truly helped. I'm not crazy for not wanting to suffer unbearably. I would be crazy to want to. I don't judge or assume anything about any of us just because we all talk or think about dying. It sounds crazy to someone who isn't suffering to say I really need to end it now or to wish someone was allowed to help when you can't physically get the painless choice you deserve. I'm sure some of you know someone who was given MAiD and I would think most of us agree it's inhumane to suffer without relief. Taking away N and painless methods is wrong. Yes we need to be careful of volunerable people but we shouldn't be forced to live regardless of our situation. Anyway we have to be careful when we speak to a doctor who doesn't know us and our condition and won't even discuss why pain medication at home or MAiD is the best for us. So since you aren't even allowed to know what doctors will be participating in MAiD in NY in August how can you avoid unnecessary waste of time and exams, money, pain to try to prepare. I know it will take more time and effort then I can do without unnecessary pain but I'm hoping someone can post or message me if you know a doctor, nurse, death doula, patient or family who knows someone who agrees with comfort care and adequate pain meds and support at such a difficult time. I appreciate any one who can help me find some relief from this agony. It is worse than words can say but I know some understand. Thank you