hardcorebisnis
love addict
- Jan 2, 2025
- 20
First I got fired from my (temp) job where they overworked me and were total cunts, like I understand you're in your 30s and working in a warehouse is the extent of what you can achieve but there's no reason to be so horrible when speaking to me, literally screeching when I was doing things correctly? And sorry but it was ALWAYS Europeans (not all obviously) but fkn hell, learn some kindness it's really not that hard.
Then my mum ordered some groceries from uber and the delivery driver was incompetent and was being really aggressive over the phone and told my mum to "Go back to Africa" which is comical because 1. it was clear he's not even from England 2. My mum was literally born in England??? 3. We aren't black anyways??
Why are europeans immigrants here so horrible to other POC who ARE LITERALLY BORN HERE like the English hates you guys too yet direct their anger towards us? I don't get it. I wanted to give him a call and tell him IDK who he thinks he's talking to like that but my iPhone mysteriously DIED when it was working fine literally 5 minutes ago and it's frustrating because a couple months ago I got arrested and my phones were taken for evidence and the whole case is stressful because it's just a sham case like the evidence was literally tweets where I called someone fat and I was pushed to a breaking point and was being LITERALLY SMEAR CAMPAIGNED and the UK healthcare system is SHIT I've had psychotic symptoms since I was 16, I was in CAMHS, I had a psychiatrist appointment close to my 18th B-Day on FKN ZOOM and it was NEVER RECORDED ON PAPER that he said I have BPD and prescribed me meds (which I had to beg for when they ran out because there was no proof of prescription but who fkn abuses abilify??? U can't??)
They refuse to let me speak to any psychiatrists/psychologists yet people who LARP as mentally ill are taken seriously, how is this world real. It makes me feel violent almost, if a white guy was to commit some sort of attack on people they'd be like "Aww but maybe he was struggling mentally" BUT when I (brown girl) have literal agonising intrusive thoughts and imagery of beating this one cunt to a pulp for how negatively he's affected my life (also I literally have a documented history of struggling since I was 15 luckily bc of CAMHS) it's "oh em gee nooo she's such a danger BUT LET'S NOT GET HER PSYCOLOGICALLY EVALUATED SHE CHOSE TO BE VIOLENT" like it's just so unfair how people can get away with treating me badly or ignoring my cries for help or just completely minimise my struggles until I do something rash and even then I'm not given the same treatment as guys.
I'm just so overwhelmed and it's genuinely so unfair, my doctor is so useless I genuinely could tell her I want to hurt people and she'd be unphased, like all my life authorative figures who are supposed to work towards to the wellbeing of children have failed me and now I'm too old I feel like to be taken seriously I just don't know what to do, I can't afford a psychiatry appointment either and I'm too scared to spend 1-2k just to be dismissed.
I know the way my brain works isn't NT, I don't know what it is but I feel like I will reach a breaking point and do smth regrettable because I genuinely feel as though I have nothing to lose.
Then my mum ordered some groceries from uber and the delivery driver was incompetent and was being really aggressive over the phone and told my mum to "Go back to Africa" which is comical because 1. it was clear he's not even from England 2. My mum was literally born in England??? 3. We aren't black anyways??
Why are europeans immigrants here so horrible to other POC who ARE LITERALLY BORN HERE like the English hates you guys too yet direct their anger towards us? I don't get it. I wanted to give him a call and tell him IDK who he thinks he's talking to like that but my iPhone mysteriously DIED when it was working fine literally 5 minutes ago and it's frustrating because a couple months ago I got arrested and my phones were taken for evidence and the whole case is stressful because it's just a sham case like the evidence was literally tweets where I called someone fat and I was pushed to a breaking point and was being LITERALLY SMEAR CAMPAIGNED and the UK healthcare system is SHIT I've had psychotic symptoms since I was 16, I was in CAMHS, I had a psychiatrist appointment close to my 18th B-Day on FKN ZOOM and it was NEVER RECORDED ON PAPER that he said I have BPD and prescribed me meds (which I had to beg for when they ran out because there was no proof of prescription but who fkn abuses abilify??? U can't??)
They refuse to let me speak to any psychiatrists/psychologists yet people who LARP as mentally ill are taken seriously, how is this world real. It makes me feel violent almost, if a white guy was to commit some sort of attack on people they'd be like "Aww but maybe he was struggling mentally" BUT when I (brown girl) have literal agonising intrusive thoughts and imagery of beating this one cunt to a pulp for how negatively he's affected my life (also I literally have a documented history of struggling since I was 15 luckily bc of CAMHS) it's "oh em gee nooo she's such a danger BUT LET'S NOT GET HER PSYCOLOGICALLY EVALUATED SHE CHOSE TO BE VIOLENT" like it's just so unfair how people can get away with treating me badly or ignoring my cries for help or just completely minimise my struggles until I do something rash and even then I'm not given the same treatment as guys.
I'm just so overwhelmed and it's genuinely so unfair, my doctor is so useless I genuinely could tell her I want to hurt people and she'd be unphased, like all my life authorative figures who are supposed to work towards to the wellbeing of children have failed me and now I'm too old I feel like to be taken seriously I just don't know what to do, I can't afford a psychiatry appointment either and I'm too scared to spend 1-2k just to be dismissed.
I know the way my brain works isn't NT, I don't know what it is but I feel like I will reach a breaking point and do smth regrettable because I genuinely feel as though I have nothing to lose.
