Outside of health, why do people with money want to CTB?

[Mart]

Mine is Loneliness. Money doesn't fix loneliness, you can have everything but nothing means anything when you are alone and have zero family. I have travelled a lot, in december i just went to thailand, hung out by the pool of a beautiful resort and spent most of the time crying behind my sunglasses watching family and couples. I Didn't leave my room much after that. Then i went on a 2 week train trip to the rockies and seeing all the happy couples and families made it worse i stayed in my cabin for most of it. In fact, those trips solidified my decision. That no matter what i do or what i earn and believe me when i first ran away from home i was broke, that nothimg would make me ok inside.
BUT it does help to afford an easier exit and time to do this when everything is right without being forced to by a specific date.i always planned to have enough saved for my last year here, but there really isnt anything i want to do. Im just waiting for my stuff.

Very similar to me. I have "friends" here, people that still try and be around me sometimes. But I pushed them away and am very distant from them because I still feel alone when I'm with them. Have about one person I really want to be around but they are avoiding me. As for money, I did grow up super poor. Many nights we went without a meal, grandparents stepped in a lot to feed us, now I have more money than practically anyone at my age and there's just nothing I can spend it on to make me happy. Money doesn't fix lonliness. You can't buy a real friend, you can't buy genuine love, money can only buy something fake. There's nothing I hate more than something ingenuine. Also tried traveling recently. Through Midwest, eastcoast, some of canada, the south, now I'm back in the Rocky mountains. Gonna travel abroad a bit and thats when I'm gonna do it.

 

[Only Me Here]

Very similar to me. I have "friends" here, people that still try and be around me sometimes. But I pushed them away and am very distant from them because I still feel alone when I'm with them. Have about one person I really want to be around but they are avoiding me. As for money, I did grow up super poor. Many nights we went without a meal, grandparents stepped in a lot to feed us, now I have more money than practically anyone at my age and there's just nothing I can spend it on to make me happy. Money doesn't fix lonliness. You can't buy a real friend, you can't buy genuine love, money can only buy something fake. There's nothing I hate more than something ingenuine. Also tried traveling recently. Through Midwest, eastcoast, some of canada, the south, now I'm back in the Rocky mountains. Gonna travel abroad a bit and thats when I'm gonna do it.

Oh ya i pushed everyone away by either not responding or acting like im not in the city and therefore not around to do anything. I took the via train that goes from toronto to BC. So many honeymooners and families (barf). When i got to vancouver pretty much stayed in my room. Where are you thinking abroad? And what method? You could probably get some good poison in asia?

 

[Mart]

Oh yeah I was up near Toronto, lot more family oriented than I was expecting it to be up there. I was thinking somewhere in Asia. Gonna go deep into some forest or something, probably with SN or a rope. Thought it would be nice to be in a scenic area. I've always wanted to go to China, Japan, Vietnam, all that area. Lot of beautiful places for a nice serene final moment I think. I know what you mean about staying in your room though. I was gone for almost a month and I feel like I did nothing because I didn't really have a drive to do much. I drove really long bursts of time, would occasionally go out to do something, but spent a surprising amount of time just trying to be alone.

 

[intheweeds]

Imagine being wealthy. You can buy whatever you want, and no longer have to stress about how you're going to pay your bills.

At first that's a great relief, but after being wealthy for a few years that becomes "normal" and you begin to take your wealth for granted.

If your wealth isn't making you happy then you begin to wonder what exactly will. I think that's why you see a lot of celebrities turn to drugs.

No matter how much money you have your problems never completely go away. Your mind is really good at creating new ones.

 

[Only Me Here]

Oh yeah I was up near Toronto, lot more family oriented than I was expecting it to be up there. I was thinking somewhere in Asia. Gonna go deep into some forest or something, probably with SN or a rope. Thought it would be nice to be in a scenic area. I've always wanted to go to China, Japan, Vietnam, all that area. Lot of beautiful places for a nice serene final moment I think. I know what you mean about staying in your room though. I was gone for almost a month and I feel like I did nothing because I didn't really have a drive to do much. I drove really long bursts of time, would occasionally go out to do something, but spent a surprising amount of time just trying to be alone.

Mart: The suburbs in toronto are very family but even the young couples with kids have taken over downtown. I thought china was the prime place to get N? Although i would imagine its not easy to get. Arent you afraid that if its over there they may never find you and you remain a missing person here?
Weeds: you hit the nail on the head, if you cant fix your mind it doesn't matter what you have.

 

[NCBEYOND]

I'm just tired of life now. I've had a fair couple of fantastic years better than I could of dreamt of and due to certain reasons that's come to a stop and so I'll be ctb. Though it doesn't have anything to do with money or health.

Suppose there's lots of reasons out there

 

[toolateforme]

I imagine the wealthy eventually take what they have for granted, like someone else earlier said. You get so used to what you have you eventually want more. That, and money doesn't cure mental illness (if that's a factor in wanting to ctb). They can get the best treatments but things like bipolar or schizophrenia never fully go away. Family can be a factor as well, if their family is really toxic, which isn't always easy to get away from.

 

[Mart]

Mart: The suburbs in toronto are very family but even the young couples with kids have taken over downtown. I thought china was the prime place to get N? Although i would imagine its not easy to get. Arent you afraid that if its over there they may never find you and you remain a missing person here?
Weeds: you hit the nail on the head, if you cant fix your mind it doesn't matter what you have.

I noticed that. I was in London Ontario and Windsor. Windsor is more of just a gigantic cultural hotpot but it is still very family oriented. I don't really mind not being found. I think I'll probably mail a letter to my mother before I do it to let her know what was going to happen and let her know it's not her fault and I love her. I would be fine with just being missing and her having hope that I was still alive and just out there somewhere but I refuse to have her waste any money on that. I also have quite a large range of electronics and such that would be good to give away. My mother is a charitable person and I think it would help her out to be able to possibly give away all my stuff to her less fortunate students. I also would like her to inherit all of my finances. The money I have could really help her out. If I couldn't find N over there I wouldn't worry too much. I don't mind how it is too much as long as I'm not brutalizing myself and I get to experience peace while it's happening.

 

[cornflowerblue]

Just an honest question, not accusatory or anything like that.

Money would literally solve so many of my problems and would likely save my life. It allows freedom and a means to fix so many different things and grant hope.

I'm just wondering for anyone who is financially strong, what besides physical health can make you feel like there's no way out?

The scariest feeling of all is when your life is perfect, you've met and exceeded any goal you've set for yourself, everyone loves you, you really "have it all" in every way possible, and you don't feel any different. There's no room for hope there. There's no "if only this changed, I'd be ok" or "if I had this other person's life I'd be ok".

 

[tomz323]

Philosophical reasons is life really worth it?

 

[cornflowerblue]

I suspect the rich have the opportunity to keep info around suicide undisclosed and contrary to the less financially privileged.

Yes. And the money to see providers who don't send records to insurance so there's no documented history of mental illness. I don't trust suicide statistics at all, at least until the stigma goes away. There's millions of reasons to hide it, and even if you're not trying to hide it, denial is strong. Look at all the super religious counties who officially have low suicide stats. I'm sure there's some pretty fishy "accidents" but nobody wants to think their loved one is in hell, so it's a don't ask don't tell thing and nobody spends time considering if it was a cause of death.

 

[sweet17sour29]

I always thought money would make everything easier and happier, but it's just made me feel more paralysed as I realise I lack any motivation to spend it. Why travel? I'll be dead soon. Why buy the clothes and jewellery I want? I'll be dead soon. Why quit my job and live off my savings? I'll be dead soon.
It's nice knowing its there... I take a small comfort in knowing it'll bring my siblings a little bit of happiness.

 

[JoeFailure]

I kind of get it but I guess it's tough to because money would have literally saved my life, but I don't think I have a choice but to CTB because of it even though I would like to live.

What an ironic, cruel life. What would save my life doesn't mean anything to other people that have it.

 

[Fenrirsend]

Just an honest question, not accusatory or anything like that.

Money would literally solve so many of my problems and would likely save my life. It allows freedom and a means to fix so many different things and grant hope.

I'm just wondering for anyone who is financially strong, what besides physical health can make you feel like there's no way out?

Not gonna lie I had money I'd at least take a stab at living. I'd try to find someone I'm having I'm having a hard time getting a hold of. Maybe actually be able to afford a tefl or celta class so I could try going to Asia to teach English and start over. I could at least die more peaceful.

 

[spanishguy22]

My grandma had tons of money saved never spent. I wondered why as a kid. Now I know. Our depression is so bad I don't even give a fuck about money, there's nothing enjoyable.

 

[JoeFailure]

Well, if anyone wants to save a life before they go, mine definitely would be with money.

Just kidding. Not really, but I don't actually expect that.

 

[Oppenheimer]

A Lot of money would definitely help. My job pays well so I have no debts and have a decent life style (Nothing fancy by any means) but I HATE MY F.... JOB. I work at it for ten years and it does not get better, if anything it gets worst. And no, I can´t get other job because I got my degree on it and can´t do anything else. I do fell better (a lot better) on weekends and vacation so if I had enough money to just leave this job I don´t think I would wanna CTB. Because otherwise it´s just a future of working for a living for the rest of my life at something I hate until I´m very old and die.

Also, I help my parents with money, so I´m afraid of CTB and they run into difficult. I mean I´m sure my sister would help them but man I don´t know.

 

[JoeFailure]

A Lot of money would definitely help. My job pays well so I have no debts and have a decent life style (Nothing fancy by any means) but I HATE MY F.... JOB. I work at it for ten years and it does not get better, if anything it gets worst. And no, I can´t get other job because I got my degree on it and can´t do anything else. I do fell better (a lot better) on weekends and vacation so if I had enough money to just leave this job I don´t think I would wanna CTB. Because otherwise it´s just a future of working for a living for the rest of my life at something I hate until I´m very old and die.

Also, I help my parents with money, so I´m afraid of CTB and they run into difficult. I mean I´m sure my sister would help them but man I don´t know.

I don't know what else is going on in your life that may contribute to want to CTB...but if it's just work, there could be a different job in that field or something else you could still possibly look for while you're at this job. I don't know, just throwing it out there.

 

[Fenrirsend]

Well, if anyone wants to save a life before they go, mine definitely would be with money.

Just kidding. Not really, but I don't actually expect that.

Lol me too..hell I'll lay em out a road map n give them updates on how it's going.

 

[ManWithNoName]

Financial problems are one of the biggest catalysts for suicide so rich people are probably a lot less likely to commit suicide than the general population. As has been said however, money can't necessarily protect you from stress, mental illness, ageing, loneliness or lack of purpose.

Nailed it. For me, what I highlighted in red.

 

[LaBrava]

If I had enough money never to work again and just live a really basic life just watching DVDs and reading I would live out a natural life and be happy. It's the hell of minimum wage work misery, workplace bullying, being broke and not able to afford even the basics and not having a place of my own or any security or much hope of retirement in the very distant future that's driving me towards CTB. I had a period last year until my savings ran out of not having to work and it felt great. Now I'm back in hell.

 

[Marawa]

I don't understand it either but I've known a few people that had it and were still miserable and ctb'ed. My father due to health issues. He left me nothing but before he became I'll he was set and able to enjoy life.
its really unfortunate that so many of us have poverty and illness as a motive. Even a vehicle would dramatically change my life though I'd still be in pain.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

Speaking as someone who comes from a financially privileged background, I want to CTB because of my childhood trauma. I grew up with physically and emotionally abusive parents. They would beat me and verbally abuse me if I didn't meet their academic expectations. My mom once threatened to kill herself in front of me because I got a 91 on a test.
On the surface, I had everything. A nice house, nice clothes, etc. Oftentimes, people don't believe I could have had an unhappy childhood because I was financially privileged.
Even now, I still feel the effects of my childhood. I'm socially anxious and struggle to form normal human relationships. I don't think this is going to go away.

 

[Ruffian]

I've read that financially speaking 70% of suicides are linked to money problems. I'm not sure about the remaining amount of the pie but I do know that the 30% left doesn't discriminate. Meaning the rich can just as easily fall into the last 30% like the others that are suicidal but okay with finances.

Now the above isn't so black & white because the rich can use their finances to access things others aren't able to in fixing their problems. Such as repairing aesthetics by expensive plastic surgery, fixing loneliness by filling one's schedule with personal trainer & multiple hobbies; where other people are included and one could argue even love can be purchased with how many billions of people exist.

Health issues are likely the main cause of suicide by the rich. I suspect the rich have the opportunity to keep info around suicide undisclosed and contrary to the less financially privileged. Anyway, it's better to have money because you can attempt to repair all your problems with all possible solutions available in this world.

I read somewhere that the biggest contributor to following through with suicidal feelings is perceiving yourself as a burden to others. Even if that burden isn't financial, I bet rich people with physical problems often don't want to burden their families with taking care of them - just a thought.

Speaking as someone who comes from a financially privileged background, I want to CTB because of my childhood trauma. I grew up with physically and emotionally abusive parents. They would beat me and verbally abuse me if I didn't meet their academic expectations. My mom once threatened to kill herself in front of me because I got a 91 on a test.
On the surface, I had everything. A nice house, nice clothes, etc. Oftentimes, people don't believe I could have had an unhappy childhood because I was financially privileged.
Even now, I still feel the effects of my childhood. I'm socially anxious and struggle to form normal human relationships. I don't think this is going to go away.

Sometimes I think that contributes to the feelings being worse - no one can possibly understand why you feel that way, and all they do is either invalidate you or not believe it. I have the same problem and my childhood still haunts me, plus now I'm trying to undo all this fucked up shit my first therapist put in my head.

 

[alizee]

I read somewhere that the biggest contributor to following through with suicidal feelings is perceiving yourself as a burden to others. Even if that burden isn't financial, I bet rich people with physical problems often don't want to burden their families with taking care of them - just a thought.

Sometimes I think that contributes to the feelings being worse - no one can possibly understand why you feel that way, and all they do is either invalidate you or not believe it. I have the same problem and my childhood still haunts me, plus now I'm trying to undo all this fucked up shit my first therapist put in my head.

I'm not sure is your definition is of rich aligns with what it means to be rich. Basically when you could retire multiple times and still have money left over. People who are rich that have physical problems can easily afford a care taker. So I'm not sure if the burden on family members is really a thing. Could you go more into detail on what you mean?

 

[Ruffian]

I'm not sure is your definition is of rich aligns with what it means to be rich. Basically when you could retire multiple times and still have money left over. People who are rich that have physical problems can easily afford a care taker. So I'm not sure if the burden on family members is really a thing. Could you go more into detail on what you mean?

Yeah, you're right, I wasn't thinking about that at all. My aunt and uncle were pretty well off, but my aunt ended up taking care of my uncle, and two of my cousins due to Hintingdon's disease. But wealthy, yeah they could just put their loved ones in a home.

 

[alizee]

Yeah, you're right, I wasn't thinking about that at all. My aunt and uncle were pretty well off, but my aunt ended up taking care of my uncle, and two of my cousins due to Hintingdon's disease. But wealthy, yeah they could just put their loved ones in a home.

Do you have that disease? That's such a horrible disease from what I've heard about it.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I read somewhere that the biggest contributor to following through with suicidal feelings is perceiving yourself as a burden to others. Even if that burden isn't financial, I bet rich people with physical problems often don't want to burden their families with taking care of them - just a thought.

Sometimes I think that contributes to the feelings being worse - no one can possibly understand why you feel that way, and all they do is either invalidate you or not believe it. I have the same problem and my childhood still haunts me, plus now I'm trying to undo all this fucked up shit my first therapist put in my head.

Exactly! Sometimes having a "privileged" background makes it harder for people to believe you actually have a reason to be depressed. When I was in college, my mom would sometimes drop by on the weekends and bring me shopping bags filled with nice clothes. My college roommate saw this and would often tell me I'm so lucky to have such a "nice " mom. Yea,...."nice" means beating the shit out of me behind closed doors and then buying me nice things and then telling me I should be grateful.
When I was little, I had a hard time seeing my mom as abusive. She would alternate between beating me me, verbally abusing me, and threatening to kill herself because of my "bad" grades and then going to the mall to buy me nice clothes and telling me she did everything out of love. When I was a kid, a part of me felt like I should be grateful...She was spending all this money on me and I was getting nice things. So this was love, right?
When I later told my friends I was cutting contact with my parents, many of them said, "But your mom is so nice." Even when I tried to explain the shit I went through growing up, some of my friends still had a hard time understanding because they only saw the side my mom showed in public.

 

[uiop]

I'm doing quite well for a person my age, so I have enough money to do whatever I want. I grew up poor; my family was on food stamps and welfare. I'm a bastard child, so my mom and dad were never married. They do not live together. As a result, I am not close to any if my family members.

I have serious depression, social anxiety, trust issues, and loneliness. I tend to overwork myself as a means to cope with my reality. I'm burned out and completely exhausted. I can't take it anymore. I quit my freelancing job, and haven't outputted any results for my day job in months. It's a surprise they haven't fired me yet, but it's only a matter of time.

I do not have a support nor friends who can relate to me. I just can't be happy no matter what I do. I literally have no purpose in life or a future where I see myself happy. I can't handle this anymore; I just want to end it all.

 

[JoeFailure]

I'm doing quite well for a person my age, so I have enough money to do whatever I want. I grew up poor; my family was on food stamps and welfare. I'm a bastard child, so my mom and dad were never married. They do not live together. As a result, I am not close to any if my family members.

I have serious depression, social anxiety, trust issues, and loneliness. I tend to overwork myself as a means to cope with my reality. I'm burned out and completely exhausted. I can't take it anymore. I quit my freelancing job, and haven't outputted any results for my day job in months. It's a surprise they haven't fired me yet, but it's only a matter of time.

I do not have a support nor friends who can relate to me. I just can't be happy no matter what I do. I literally have no purpose in life or a future where I see myself happy. I can't handle this anymore; I just want to end it all.

It's certainly your life and I can't put myself in your shoes and know how you mentally or physically feel.

I'll just say this...money affords possibilities and freedom. You have more flexibility to change your life or potentially meet someone that you can possibly be happy with.

I screwed up a lot with money and career stuff, I take my share of responsibility but because of something that happened to me when I was young, I literally haven't been sexually attracted to any kind of human being until just recently, and I'm 34 now.

Because I didn't really ever have an end game in mind with a possible wife or child, I just did whatever to at least comfortably support myself thinking that's all I'd ever have to do.

But now since things have changed, I'm 34 with no real career making 47k and have about 1k in savings and no assets, just a rented apartment and a leased car. That's exactly what it sounds like, a death sentence. Every day I wish it wasn't, I still wake up and can see some beauty in the world, it just wasn't a world I was really a part of for most of my life. And now that I feel like I could be, there's about a 99% chance it's too late.

I'm not pro life or anything, I guess I'm just trying to say that you still could have a chance in this life if you explore every possibility. But maybe you have, I certainly don't know.

I guess in the end, people are just different. Maybe there are people that would trade for my situation and start all over at my age to get away from the things they're trapped in right now, while I would gladly have some money to build a decent life with.

Exactly! Sometimes having a "privileged" background makes it harder for people to believe you actually have a reason to be depressed. When I was in college, my mom would sometimes drop by on the weekends and bring me shopping bags filled with nice clothes. My college roommate saw this and would often tell me I'm so lucky to have such a "nice " mom. Yea,...."nice" means beating the shit out of me behind closed doors and then buying me nice things and then telling me I should be grateful.
When I was little, I had a hard time seeing my mom as abusive. She would alternate between beating me me, verbally abusing me, and threatening to kill herself because of my "bad" grades and then going to the mall to buy me nice clothes and telling me she did everything out of love. When I was a kid, a part of me felt like I should be grateful...She was spending all this money on me and I was getting nice things. So this was love, right?
When I later told my friends I was cutting contact with my parents, many of them said, "But your mom is so nice." Even when I tried to explain the shit I went through growing up, some of my friends still had a hard time understanding because they only saw the side my mom showed in public.

I am sorry to hear about all that. It does seem like a lot of baggage to carry around.

Maybe with time and more separation, things could get better? Especially now that you've cut ties. You're just so young and have some things going for you. I'd give anything to go back to your age and have my head on straight.

But I also don't know exactly how those things feel that you described. Certainly wish you the best though, you might have a happy future ahead of you if you stick around!