One week, new here

[Viden]

Hello everyone. I have been looking at this forum for a while now and I have done a lot with it. I have had my N and SN with appropriate anti-e and tagamet for a while now. I had tried other attempts in the past many times, but now that I have N, I can't seem to do get past my SI. In the other tries, I used alcohol to get past it, but this time my SI is too strong. I think that is because with the others, there was something in the back of my head telling me that it might not work. But I know N will work. I have to do this by next Wednesday for reasons I will not disclose here. I've watched a few videos on this forum and have realized that the game (of life) is no longer worth being played (at least for me), but I am still here. I am a philosophical person who thinks a great deal about a lot of things in rational, logical and emotional ways. I would like help in overcoming my SI. I don't want to die, but I see death as the best option for my situation. I have thought about this seriously for over a decade, but I have been thinking about death since I was a kid. I've always been fascinated by it and I want to experience it. I know I will die at some point, but that doesn't help me get over my SI.

 

[fisil]

Check: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/

Overall it's very diffcult and more a "just do it" thing at least you know your method is very peacefull.

Can you tell me what for videos you watched on this forum?

 

[Viden]

Check: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/

Overall it's very diffcult and more a "just do it" thing at least you know your method is very peacefull.

Can you tell me what for videos you watched on this forum?

I watched the videos in the resources thread and a few Allan watts videos. I know it's very difficult and more than a "just do it" thing. My mind is always moving and thinking and analyzing. I know I'm a smart guy and maybe that's my problem. I know N will kill me. When I tried my other attempts, it was comparatively easy compared to this. The problem I'm facing is that I don't want to die, but death is the best option for me now. I've tried at life so many times and failed so many times. I don't want to try again. I know I will die, but I want to control when I die and I want to experience death even though I know once I die, I won't exist anymore and will not remember my experiences of death.

 

[Lara Francis]

Hello everyone. I have been looking at this forum for a while now and I have done a lot with it. I have had my N and SN with appropriate anti-e and tagamet for a while now. I had tried other attempts in the past many times, but now that I have N, I can't seem to do get past my SI. In the other tries, I used alcohol to get past it, but this time my SI is too strong. I think that is because with the others, there was something in the back of my head telling me that it might not work. But I know N will work. I have to do this by next Wednesday for reasons I will not disclose here. I've watched a few videos on this forum and have realized that the game (of life) is no longer worth being played (at least for me), but I am still here. I am a philosophical person who thinks a great deal about a lot of things in rational, logical and emotional ways. I would like help in overcoming my SI. I don't want to die, but I see death as the best option for my situation. I have thought about this seriously for over a decade, but I have been thinking about death since I was a kid. I've always been fascinated by it and I want to experience it. I know I will die at some point, but that doesn't help me get over my SI.

Hi.
Wishing you a warm welcome to the forum.
It must be a relief and source of comfort to have both N and SN.

You have gone to lengths to get the most reliable methods which will be fatal without question and shows your level of comittment and determination.

I think our minds will always be problematic when we r just about to take our life no matter how much we want to do it.
The rationality of your mind is a major obstacle.
Taking N will b final and there is no changing your mind.
One statement that stands out from the other things u say is " I dont want to die !"
But you cant see other option.
I Think we can all be curious and fantazise about death but it is only when we are on the very edge of life,we realise how hard it is to let go.!
I hope u find peace.x

 

[Jodes]

Hello everyone. I have been looking at this forum for a while now and I have done a lot with it. I have had my N and SN with appropriate anti-e and tagamet for a while now. I had tried other attempts in the past many times, but now that I have N, I can't seem to do get past my SI. In the other tries, I used alcohol to get past it, but this time my SI is too strong. I think that is because with the others, there was something in the back of my head telling me that it might not work. But I know N will work. I have to do this by next Wednesday for reasons I will not disclose here. I've watched a few videos on this forum and have realized that the game (of life) is no longer worth being played (at least for me), but I am still here. I am a philosophical person who thinks a great deal about a lot of things in rational, logical and emotional ways. I would like help in overcoming my SI. I don't want to die, but I see death as the best option for my situation. I have thought about this seriously for over a decade, but I have been thinking about death since I was a kid. I've always been fascinated by it and I want to experience it. I know I will die at some point, but that doesn't help me get over my SI.

I'm sorry you're here under so much pressure. (But welcome). I'm sure you've appreciated that being calm, collected and prepared is important in the circumstances. But I hope that relaxation techniques etc could help you find peace in some way, whether evercoming SI, or deciding that while relaxed and alive, you sometimes get the same sensation you crave - which you won't have once you're actually gone. Being prepared, as you do seem to be now,might help. I'm no expert tho. And I'm not encouraging anyone to prep!!