PartingGlass

PartingGlass

Member
Dec 26, 2019
58
Someone who loved me. That's not going to happen though. At this point I'm just trying to face reality and accept that I have to die. It's not easy.
 
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Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
Reconciliation with a certain person that I hurt emotionally:'(
 
N

nonamegirl

Student
Jan 6, 2020
183
A cure for each of my tormenting conditions.
 
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S

s1mplem3

Arcanist
Mar 4, 2020
454
Just anyone who would love me. I'm not going to live alone anymore.
 
RottenDeer

RottenDeer

Rotten to the core.
Feb 29, 2020
157
A purpose.
 
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Intelligent Ape

Intelligent Ape

Evolutionary dead end
Jun 23, 2019
42
Natural death)
If more seriously - beeing attractive.
 
V

Viola

Specialist
Feb 28, 2020
334
Truly believing that my existence improves the lives of people I love and doesn't make it worse.
 
Naysha

Naysha

Antinatalist+Goth
Jan 13, 2020
48
Eradication of aging, suffering and free to shape your body as you want. That's not gonna happen anytime soon so..
 
T

Thatdude

Life is temporary, death is permanent
Sep 26, 2019
473
If you could be given something that would stop you from CTB, would you?

No I wouldn't.

What would it be that would stop you from CTB? (All the money in the world, dream partner, etc)
But I would say, the ultimate thing for me is a normal brain from birth. Being autistic, life had major ups and downs. Now that I'm in my adult years (30 something) it's been down since I gotten out of HS. I never had a real romantic relationship, I don't have friends (outside of 2 or 3 that I sometimes play online games with), getting a job even with 4 degrees is a nightmare, and the situations I've been forced to be in due to by choice of being homeless or deal with. It's a nightmare.
At times I dream of changing things in my past. Things that would dramatically improved my life. I also dream of things that would've never happened, but would've made me happy. In fact, this is why I'm on here today. I'm sure others are the same, but after dreaming something I wish would've happen but never would due to my situations. If I had a gun next to my bed I would've used it.

Because there is no way to fix my brain from birth, and maybe some of the situations between then and now. If someone was to do something today, I would say the ultimate thing that would keep me from CTB is a stable life or enough money to live out my life with. With money, I can at least buy a stable life. From that I can start putting the parts together which should allow me to have a romantic relationship. Like right now, no one wants a 30 something with no job, no money, lives with their parents, and is a split second from being homeless if other people want that.

Short of all of that, hope. Hope that my life will be better soon. Hope that there is a reason for all of this shit I've been through.
 
sadgirl2002

sadgirl2002

Fallen Angel
Apr 9, 2019
452
I just want him to come back to me.
 
STRIKER19966

STRIKER19966

Just toss my body into the fire. I don’t care anym
Feb 5, 2020
47
Well I know it sounds stupid but if there's a cure for feeling empty all the time. I'll be a happy boy.
 
C

Cjaf

Member
Mar 8, 2020
57
A loving boyfriend or husband who loves me for who I am and doesn't get scared when things get tough
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,820
It takes more than just one thing, but the simple answer would be for a permanent solution to ALL my existing and future problems. However, that is far from reality, so I've accepted that I will CTB.
 
O

oopswronglife

Elementalist
Jun 27, 2019
870
The only practical thing that would help is money. Ironically my means to earn was stolen by for-profit healthcare and since then I have been treated like a burden and blamed. Murica is profit over people and unlike even the rest of the imperfect first world we don't have healthcare, housing, education etc available to those in need because "Not with MY money!". I will end my life primarily because I cannot afford to live. I cannot afford to get out either. I tried to immigrate, which I know from experience would drastically improve my quality of life and get me at least some more time, but could never fully legitimize anywhere because of my health and people kept making things worse. I did my part, was honest, worked hard, helped others and tried to live with compassion and empathy for others....and then was abandoned when I was the victim. Now in some sick final twist I will die in deep Red Trumpmerica with bigots and selfish people all around me...people who hate everything and everyone not them...but are so good and "godly" in their minds.

Fantasy-wise...a new body because pain is not my friend. There was a time even with the disability I could have rebuilt if help had been available. I used all my resources and energy but neither people nor systems would be there. But now things are so broken all I could do is buy a survivable simple life...and even that's out of reach. I will die angry and resentful of that and the fundamental lack of human decency and respect here.
 
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one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
I'm beamed up
 
L

lymestolemylife

Student
Nov 27, 2019
139
A cure for each of my tormenting conditions.
Same here, my life would be great if I wasn't being tortured in my body constantly. My husband is my soul mate and best friend, and we have enough money for a comfortable life, but my body tortures me so much we can't enjoy anything. I have a choice to leave my amazing husband to find peace or stay here and be tortured daily. My illness is getting so bad my hair is falling out. I can't live with that. Maybe i'm too proud IDK, but If I loose any more hair i'm not sure anything could keep me here.
 
the box is empty

the box is empty

Sometimes the fall kills you. Sometimes you fly.
Mar 8, 2020
356
I guess having my own family again. Having someone who can accept my mental illness.
 
omoidarui

omoidarui

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Apr 30, 2019
993
if we never aged thats literally the main reason if i could choose to be the age i am now forever i might stay GRRRRRRRR

i dont wanna age and be a worse version of myself every year, i refuse to be past my prime
 
foreverbroken28

foreverbroken28

I've gone off the deep end.
Jul 11, 2019
124
If you could be given something that would stop you from CTB, would you and what would it be that would stop you from CTB? (All the money in the world, dream partner, etc)

When you have BPD and struggle with suicidal compulsions and thoughts, even while happy I'm not sure anything would detour the bus. I'd like to think having a certain person's love and affection would help but if I obtained it, my brain would just find another reason why I don't need to be here. I figured that out, which is why I'm leaving. Living with incurable mental illness is like living as a vegetable and it causes unnecessary suffering. Over it.
 
reesespiecesaregood

reesespiecesaregood

Member
Dec 27, 2019
45
I'll change my answer... if I could see into a crystal ball and know that any effort to be happy and improve my life would be successful in the long term, I'd stay. Not just temporary joy, but real lifelong contentment. But since every single effort of my life has lead me here and therefore failed, I see the chances as slim to none.
 
jonionl

jonionl

Member
Mar 6, 2020
11
The reason I stay alive is for my cat - he only has me, and if he were alone with my dad he would be left to die. I have looked after and protected him his whole life. I always want to end it, but I look into his eyes and the guilt is too intense.
 
gnomeboy17

gnomeboy17

Specialist
Feb 11, 2020
355
I am transexual, born female. And if I could be physically male I think that could make my life livable.
 
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Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
A time machine! I'd have left my ex and my ass wouldn't be here. Although, the people here make a life of hell more tolerable in many ways
Peace/hugs
 
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