Discussion One thing that would stop you from killing yourself

[Ryan.s]

If you could be given something that would stop you from CTB, would you and what would it be that would stop you from CTB? (All the money in the world, dream partner, etc)

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

Running away with a group of people on an adventure

 

[Dydaks3302]

Nothing, i guess that means i really made my mind

 

[Ryan.s]

Nothing, i guess that means i really made my mind

Dang man. Admire you.

If you could be given something that would stop you from CTB, would you and what would it be that would stop you from CTB? (All the money in the world, dream partner, etc)

If I could have one thing it would be to have my wife with me.

 

[Misanthropic Soul]

Witnessing mankind's extinction. Lol.

 

[Scooby-Doo]

Being able to interact with people. I'm a recluse and have social anxiety.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Change, but change will never happen, I have tried but everything and everyone defaults back to what they are comfortable with, no matter how hellish it is, guess t0 them that's their normal, so my path is set.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

At this point, nothing. My stupidity never stops.

 

[Pol]

If you could be given something that would stop you from CTB, would you and what would it be that would stop you from CTB? (All the money in the world, dream partner, etc)

seeing my wife happy.

 

[Ryan.s]

seeing my wife happy.

I can relate man :( Much love to you dude. Just message me if you ever want to talk

 

[BadRNG]

If you could be given something that would stop you from CTB, would you and what would it be that would stop you from CTB? (All the money in the world, dream partner, etc)

A pill that would be make straight, or at least bi, then my life would be complete , but right now I am trapped in a body and brain I don't want

 

[popo]

Dead due to other non-suicidal causes.

 

[Mr2005]

Witnessing mankind's extinction. Lol.

Then what would you do? Less hate in the world and a time machine

 

[Steamm]

Actualy there's nothing. I sealed my fate with the most stupids decisions. The way I'm right now is totally my fault.

 

[Sans]

To have a loyal, loving, caring girlfriend or wife. As long as just one person loved me for who I am, I would not care about what others think.

 

[CarefulWithThatAxe]

Hope

 

[hunthunt]

Nope.

Even if my life came back to what was once (having a job, being loved, being clean, do interesting stuff) I would still fuck up everything becouse being a liar, dumb, addicted and sad person overall is part of me, its what Im and no therapy or drug will change that.

Theres nothing I can do so I prefer to close the door.

 

[waterbottleman]

If I had a million dollars or more I'd stay alive.

I already know how I'd live my life because it is something I constantly dream about, it's my only escape from my current miserable life.

I'd invest my money in safe dividend paying stocks and go move to Thailand living off of the dividends indefinitely. I'd participate in the night life making friends with people and having sex with the sex workers (since Ive been unable to interest women my whole life). I'd take the sex workers out to dinner, have long walks on the beach with them at night listening to the calming sound of the waves crashing on the beach while I hold hands with her and talk with her about both of our lives. I'd take her to various shows/celebrations, bring her to my apartment to cook dinner for her. I'd pursue my passions in life which is investing/trading, mathematics, fashion, and cooking. Maybe start my own blog where I talk about my thoughts on the markets and what I'm investing in and why. Do volunteer work to save and protect animals.

Thats a life I can see worth living, I'd actually feel alive. I would actually feel things passionately, have fun, see a reason to live.

However that is just a fantasy, I think the reality of the 40 hour work week is a big driving factor in me not wanting to live and I would imagine it's the same for a lot of other people.

If you have a good personal life you can grit your teeth working a job that you hate/are bored with because you have something to look forward to after work. There's an actual reward in your life for your job/career. However if your personal life is complete and utter garbage as mine is, you really get to the point where you look at life as merely working 40 hours just to survive.

But survive for what reason? Its a completely hollow and bleak existence where you're devoid of feeling anything, it's as if all the color in your life is gone. There's a difference between surviving and living. People like me are surviving but not living. When you hate your job but also have nothing to look forward to in your personal life you aren't living. You're just surviving and there's really no point in living a miserable and pointless existence like that.

I'd rather be dead than work some stupid 40 hour white collar job just so I live a comfortable but lonely and bleak existence with nothing to look forward to. Yeah it will make my parents proud, but i can't live my life for what other people want. I can't go on living like that anymore.

I feel so disillusioned from life, like idk.....I hate to sound entitled because I know I'm not entitled to anything, but I feel like I've been lied to by society growing up. I did everything you're told to do when you're young. I did well in school, avoided trouble (for the most part, did some drugs and partied in high school but did so responsibly and within limits), went to a good college, got a decent job out of college.

Now I'm approaching my thirties and look back at my life and regret it because my life is so boring, it feels so hollow and emotionless. My life has been me stuck in a room either at school or at work. People have never liked me that much, women have never been interested in me. If I knew this was my destiny I would have just joined the military after high school or travelled the world and partied like mad. At least Id have fond memories.

 

[Ryan.s]

If I had a million dollars or more I'd stay alive.

I already know how I'd live my life because it is something I constantly dream about, it's my only escape from my current miserable life.

I'd invest my money in safe dividend paying stocks and go move to Thailand living off of the dividends indefinitely. I'd participate in the night life making friends with people and having sex with the sex workers (since Ive been unable to interest women my whole life). I'd take the sex workers out to dinner, have long walks on the beach with them at night listening to the calming sound of the waves crashing on the beach while I hold hands with her and talk with her about both of our lives. I'd take her to various shows/celebrations, bring her to my apartment to cook dinner for her. I'd pursue my passions in life which is investing/trading, mathematics, fashion, and cooking. Maybe start my own blog where I talk about my thoughts on the markets and what I'm investing in and why. Do volunteer work to save and protect animals.

Thats a life I can see worth living, I'd actually feel alive. I would actually feel things passionately, have fun, see a reason to live.

However that is just a fantasy, I think the reality of the 40 hour work week is a big driving factor in me not wanting to live and I would imagine it's the same for a lot of other people.

If you have a good personal life you can grit your teeth working a job that you hate/are bored with because you have something to look forward to after work. There's an actual reward in your life for your job/career. However if your personal life is complete and utter garbage as mine is, you really get to the point where you look at life as merely working 40 hours just to survive.

But survive for what reason? Its a completely hollow and bleak existence where you're devoid of feeling anything, it's as if all the color in your life is gone. There's a difference between surviving and living. People like me are surviving but not living. When you hate your job but also have nothing to look forward to in your personal life you aren't living. You're just surviving and there's really no point in living a miserable and pointless existence like that.

I'd rather be dead than work some stupid 40 hour white collar job just so I live a comfortable but lonely and bleak existence with nothing to look forward to. Yeah it will make my parents proud, but i can't live my life for what other people want. I can't go on living like that anymore.

I feel so disillusioned from life, like idk.....I hate to sound entitled because I know I'm not entitled to anything, but I feel like I've been lied to by society growing up. I did everything you're told to do when you're young. I did well in school, avoided trouble (for the most part, did some drugs and partied in high school but did so responsibly and within limits), went to a good college, got a decent job out of college.

Now I'm approaching my thirties and look back at my life and regret it because my life is so boring, it feels so hollow and emotionless. My life has been me stuck in a room either at school or at work. People have never liked me that much, women have never been interested in me. If I knew this was my destiny I would have just joined the military after high school or travelled the world and partied like mad. At least Id have fond memories.

I live in Thailand brother! Haha. I respect those big dreams. But trust me... you don't want a Thai woman. Go to Japan or Korea. They will treat you very nice and love you like crazy.

 

[waterbottleman]

I live in Thailand brother! Haha. I respect those big dreams. But trust me... you don't want a Thai woman. Go to Japan or Korea. They will treat you very nice and love you like crazy.

Whaaaa seriously? I'm so jealous of you hahaha.

 

[Misanthropic Soul]

Then what would you do? Less hate in the world and a time machine

Sometimes I feel so dumb for even being on this forum. I feel like, I'm not completely hopeless, like most of my brothers & sisters here claim to be (and I honestly feel extremely fucking sorry for them. I am suicidal since the last six years, obviously not every day, but I can definitely relate to all of you).
I am planning on sort of becoming a hermit. I just can't deal with people's selfish nature, ignorance, infinite stupidity & shallowness. All I can currently really do is to wait.

 

[BipolarExpat]

But trust me... you don't want a Thai woman.
Go to Japan or Korea. They will treat you very nice and love you like crazy.

C'mon man....I've got absolute nothing against Korean or Japanese women (only fond memories) but there are PLENTY of sterling Thai women..."working" and non.

To the op: much like waterbottle...enough cash to get me off this hamster wheel (rat race) would probably do it.

 

[Mr2005]

Sometimes I feel so dumb for even being on this forum. I feel like, I'm not completely hopeless, like most of my brothers & sisters here claim to be (and I honestly feel extremely fucking sorry for them. I am suicidal since the last six years, obviously not every day, but I can definitely relate to all of you).
I am planning on sort of becoming a hermit. I just can't deal with people's selfish nature, ignorance, infinite stupidity & shallowness. All I can currently really do is to wait.

All you can do is your best to not be one of them

 

[Sensei]

• My medication starts working properly and I stop being emotionally unstable and having depressive episodes. Probability: unknown.
• I find the love of my life. Probability: very low.
• I become a multi-millionaire and can live an anonymous life in a metropolis. Probability: very close to zero.

 

[Jean4]

• My medication starts working properly and I stop being emotionally unstable and having depressive episodes. Probability: unknown.
• I find the love of my life. Probability: very low.
• I become a multi-millionaire and can live an anonymous life in a metropolis. Probability: very close to zero.

Humpf!! On number 2.

 

[Sensei]

Humpf!! On number 2.

How could I forget? I'll buy you flowers.

 

[Ryan.s]

I live in Thailand brother! Haha. I respect those big dreams. But trust me... you don't want a Thai woman. Go to Japan or Korea. They will treat you very nice and love you like crazy.

If you could be given something that would stop you from CTB, would you and what would it be that would stop you from CTB? (All the money in the world, dream partner, etc)

We all need something. But I think the sad reality most the time is we will never get it. That's why CTB is so great. Just dying. Dying is where freedom is.

We all need something. But I think the sad reality most the time is we will never get it. That's why CTB is so great. Just dying. Dying is where freedom is.

I'm sick of being sad. I don't want to be sad anymore. I just want to die

 

[Majin K.]

Regardless of my answer, it wouldn't matter. We can fantasize as much as we want, but if the things which could stop us from doing it were within our reach, then we might not even be here on this forum. Reality is cold and cruel. It doesn't care about your feelings, your problems and who you are. It will show no mercy.

 

[Ryan.s]

Regardless of my answer, it wouldn't matter. We can fantasize as much as we want, but if the things which could stop us from doing it were within our reach, then we might not even be here on this forum. Reality is cold and cruel. It doesn't care about your feelings, your problems and who you are. It will show no mercy.

Truth

 

[Redlmnop13]

If I was given/inherited/won enough money to go back to school full-time to get a teaching degree. I've always been interested in teaching computer science to adults and kids.

I doubt the above will happen. I wanted to go for an education masters when I was finishing CS undergrad, but my dad (who I have stupidly listened to) always said no and said I should be a programmer like him. I burned out from programming in 2011 and have been just limping along since in my career. And since my mental breakdowns in 2015 I've just been cycling into mania or depression once a year, requiring hospitalizations, putting me in debt, and making me gain a ridiculous amount of weight. It's a pipe dream.