Help One sided love

[Nymph]

Hey everyone, how do y'all deal with one sided crushes? Everytime I have crush on someone it's always one sided, i understand that because I'm not a very likable person but I just need some advice and help on how to cope with it. I've been eating benzos, drinking alcohol for now but it's not enough and I can't keep doing that forever. I need some advice, please help me how to cope. It's really hard thinking about a person all the time while knowing you can't even be with them. How do I delete my thoughts AAARHH

 

[stygal]

Taking a step back and noticing that non of my feelings were reciprocated.

Then starting stage 2 which is:

1. Ignoring the person and their actions
2. Distracting myself as much as possible plus confiding in a good friend
3. Finding someone else

 

[foxdie]

Ah this is a tough one I've dealt with too. It's such a deflating and depressing experience. The best thing I've done is completely cut them out of my life. If that's not possible, it takes some mental effort to overcome. There's no easy answer for this sadly, the heart wants what it wants, either way. Try to limit contact with them and start accepting the other person's feelings. It hurts but it's all that's ever worked for me tbh.

But don't give up! You seem like a likable person who is just struggling. One day crushes align or you could have someone who you're not interested in crushing on you. It's kinda of a lame answer I guess, but anything is possible!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Every infatuation I've ever had turned out to be one-sided even when it wasn't at first.

Only way out I can see is to find someone else but I know that's way easier said than done.

 

[oneanonymous]

If I realize someone isn't into me, my attraction towards them immediately disappears. So while I may not know exactly how this feels, I can say this. First off, alcohol and benzos can potentially exacerbate negative feelings and make you ruminate further, even it simultaneously helps at the same time. It's a very odd thing. However, If you've been binging on them, it will probably make you feel worse when you stop. So, that's a little tricky. Distractions are your best bet right now and also avoiding communication with that person and anything that reminds you of them. Choosing a new crush always works. I have actually done this before, except for a different reason. I had a crush on someone at my old job, but they left. So I literally just picked someone else, kind of just said, "eh, they'll do" and the strange thing was that the attraction started to grow quickly and intensely. It's kind of like when you develop a crush on someone just because you had a dream about them. Of course, I know simply picking a new crush is much easier said than done. I know none of this is good advice or very useful, but I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I hope this gets better for you.

 

[Nymph]

Ah this is a tough one I've dealt with too. It's such a deflating and depressing experience. The best thing I've done is completely cut them out of my life. If that's not possible, it takes some mental effort to overcome. There's no easy answer for this sadly, the heart wants what it wants, either way. Try to limit contact with them and start accepting the other person's feelings. It hurts but it's all that's ever worked for me tbh.

But don't give up! You seem like a likable person who is just struggling. One day crushes align or you could have someone who you're not interested in crushing on you. It's kinda of a lame answer I guess, but anything is possible!

Yeah, I was expecting this sort of answer. I guess you just have to move on and try to forget about them. It's very exhausting tho, I wish I could just have amnesia and forget it.

If I realize someone isn't into me, my attraction towards them immediately disappears. So while I may not know exactly how this feels, I can say this. First off, alcohol and benzos can potentially exacerbate negative feelings and make you ruminate further, even it simultaneously helps at the same time. It's a very odd thing. However, If you've been binging on them, it will probably make you feel worse when you stop. So, that's a little tricky. Distractions are your best bet right now and also avoiding communication with that person and anything that reminds you of them. Choosing a new crush always works. I have actually done this before, except for a different reason. I had a crush on someone at my old job, but they left. So I literally just picked someone else, kind of just said, "eh, they'll do" and the strange thing was that the attraction started to grow quickly and intensely. It's kind of like when you develop a crush on someone just because you had a dream about them. Of course, I know simply picking a new crush is much easier said than done. I know none of this is good advice or very useful, but I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I hope this gets better for you.

Don't worry, I'm not addicted to them and it's hard for my body to be dependent on something. For me benzos and alcohol have been helping me new sue they numb my mind and my brain feels like it's empty. (Not that that's very different from the reality )

I guess that's true, it's just easier said than done.

 

[CogitoMori]

I don't know. Mine never go away until they do something to hurt me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's all been one sided limerence for me. I'm better at stopping it before it starts now though. (An obsessive crush on someone totally unobtainable.) I'm better at dumping these feelings on fictional characters now. (Much safer.)

 

[yousaidimsweet]

this might seem silly but i actually talk to them and then realize that they gross me out. i was super in love with this one guy last year and it really only healed when he started saying slightly misogynistic shit. or another guy told me his very odd red flags. another gave too much father-like energy (did not help that he was four years older than me). in my experience there's always some little thing that gives me, for the lack of a better term, The Ick.

 

[Pluto]

 

[DevonBostick'sAss]

One-sided crushes suck, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this—it's a heavy feeling to carry. You're not "unlikable." You're just stuck in your head right now, and that makes it easy to spiral. Everyone has moments like this, so cut yourself some slack.If you're constantly seeing their posts, hearing about them, or bumping into them, it's like pouring salt in the wound. Mute their stuff on social or create some space IRL for a bit—it's not forever, just till you get your head sorted.It feels like you're stuck, but you're not. Time really does help. One day you'll wake up and realize you're not thinking about them anymore. It'll just take some patience.It's hard, but don't let this crush convince you there's something wrong with you. You're just human, and feelings are messy sometimes. Take ur time u got this!!! <3