one of those nights

[ilk]

i can't explain this feeling. i feel cursed, like i dont belong here. i keep making the same mistakes over & over. keep being in this miserable cycle. i should be happy in this point of my life but im not. i wish i could love myself. i wish to be happy. wish my family wouldnt have to suffer. i always say no one cares about me but who would? really who?? i dont even care or love myself so why would some one else? im pathetic. why is it so hard to love yourself or to be happy. every time im so close to suicide i never follow through. i should've a long time ago. but for now i guess ill keep living in this darkness until then

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

i can't explain this feeling. i feel cursed, like i dont belong here. i keep making the same mistakes over & over. keep being in this miserable cycle. i should be happy in this point of my life but im not. i wish i could love myself. i wish to be happy. wish my family wouldnt have to suffer. i always say no one cares about me but who would? really who?? i dont even care or love myself so why would some one else? im pathetic. why is it so hard to love yourself or to be happy. every time im so close to suicide i never follow through. i should've a long time ago. but for now i guess ill keep living in this darkness until then

It's okay as long as you're hanging in there, as long as you still somewhat envisioned a future, it's okay to keep on going despite the pain. Because all the methods of CTB are probably more painful than having to endure life. If only I wasn't unlucky as I am, I'd probably hang on too. There's always someone out there who cares although you may not know them and they don't live near you. Sending hugs

 

[tonicer]

i can't explain this feeling. i feel cursed, like i dont belong here. i keep making the same mistakes over & over. keep being in this miserable cycle. i should be happy in this point of my life but im not. i wish i could love myself. i wish to be happy. wish my family wouldnt have to suffer. i always say no one cares about me but who would? really who?? i dont even care or love myself so why would some one else? im pathetic. why is it so hard to love yourself or to be happy. every time im so close to suicide i never follow through. i should've a long time ago. but for now i guess ill keep living in this darkness until then

I know what you mean. I also feel cursed somehow by something or someone. I never did anything bad in my life to deserve it. No matter what i try i don't succeed.

 

[auti]

The worst part about self love is that it's a journey and it takes a very long time to find your way. A lot of it has to do with what kind of media you consume. Maybe you would find it helpful to engage with more down to earth creators online. I found that following people with all different body types helped my body dysmorphia so I imagine it must work the same for other areas too. Idk if I had all the answers I wouldn't be on this forum.