One more week to go...

[goesforemast]

So, this is going to be my goodbye thread in this forum.

this week my N arrived safely at my home and next week the anti-es should be arriving so that my estimated death day is saturday to sunday night. it was nice to talk to other people that understand my situation, it was a lot easier to endure the time till its over. thank you very much guys and i wish you the best for your ways either way they are going.

So now that everything is set up for me its very different to my situation before. i am not that depressed anymore since i know when it will end. its a strange feeling. Since this morning i know everyday till next sunday will be the last ever in my life. the last monday, the last friday... i really can't describe this feeling. but i still found my peace i think. the only thing that's still depressing me is that i never felt love. sure i felt love from my family but i mean the love you feel in a relationship. I envy all the people which have someone to love. since i realised i won't have that because i am ugly and a social fail i decided to CTB. this fucking feeling hurts so much that i don't even care about how my family will feel next sunday.

so, after a short break from writing and crying i think i will move on to my last week here. gotta do something i enjoy enven thought i am all alone. i will watch the first Jurassic Park film next saturday before i CTB and listen to a song the only real friend i ever had wrote, he died last year because of an accident. these two things will be the last things i will ever to beside drinking the N :D so now i only have to finish my death note and decide what i will eat for my last meal ever.

Surely i will visit this site everyday till then. i wish you all a nice sunday :)

Tim

 

[NoChoice]

If that's your main/only reason I'm sure you will find a partner and feel love eventually, but I completely understand how terrible this feels to not have it. I hope you find your peace in whatever you do. Looking forward to future posts, enjoy this time my friend.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I'm glad your N has safely arrived and you now have that feeling of peace or almost contentment - knowing that the end is available to you when you want it is reassuring and comforting. I agree with @Nochoice you may get to experience love in a relationship yet if you want to? Don't write yourself off as unattractive just yet! I hope you can enjoy some time now. Definitely watching favourite films ad food :-)

 

[goesforemast]

Thank you for your kind words. I am sure i wont find somebody to love. even if there would be someone who likes me it wouldnt happen because of me. i am not able to talk to a girl i like because i fear that they would react like back in school when everybody bullied me. so yeah i will die alone but its only one week to go so fuck it. i guess its not for everybody.

 

[goxua]

Roll with the peace it brings and you do you, and do it well. Enjoy the film and your friend's song.

I see you've contributed a lot in your short time on SS, and I will be sure to read over your posts. But thanking you in advance for sharing. I hope you find your peace in however way you choose to go. Will be thinking about you, @goesforemast.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Thank you for your kind words. I am sure i wont find somebody to love. even if there would be someone who likes me it wouldnt happen because of me. i am not able to talk to a girl i like because i fear that they would react like back in school when everybody bullied me. so yeah i will die alone but its only one week to go so fuck it. i guess its not for everybody.

I'm so with you there - if I even go past a sign now saying "School" I start getting all trembly. I remember once plucking up the courage to tell my mother I was being bullied at school - she said, "well what do you expect me to do about it."

School days - the best days of your life :-)

 

[Raggas]

I don't think love is anything to write home about.

 

[Feline]

Especially Courtney Love!

I don't think love is anything to write home about.

 

[21Neberg]

Thank you for your kind words. I am sure i wont find somebody to love. even if there would be someone who likes me it wouldnt happen because of me. i am not able to talk to a girl i like because i fear that they would react like back in school when everybody bullied me. so yeah i will die alone but its only one week to go so fuck it. i guess its not for everybody.

I'm sure you're feeling a lot calmer now you know the end is near. I hope you make it!

 

[goesforemast]

FML -.- Life wants to fuck me even though I want to leave it. Got my N, my date and everything planned and ready but now the stupid Pimperan is still not delieverd :( i needed it today because I wanted to do the 48h anti-e Regimen starting today at 23:00 -.-

Now I am not sure if I should wait another week or do it like Dignitas (or how they are called) and just take more of it one hour before N. I really don't want to stay one more week now that I am so close

 

[goesforemast]

So, my last few hours here. Started the anti-e regimen Friday at 12:00. now there's only the 16:00 and 23:00 pills left and then the N at 0:00. I am going to be back here one last time this evening just before I take the N.

See you on the other side <3

 

[JustAboutDone]

That was weird! I re read your thread last night and wondered if you were ok :-)

 

[JJ-NOHOPE]

I'm sorry you never experienced romantic love. I never have either, due to sexual trauma while very young.

I wish you peace.

It makes me sad to see one of our brethren leave, but I understand and empathize.

 

[SeekingSolace]

I hope you find peace Tim, wishing you all the best.

 

[Batstern]

I sincerely hope everything goes well.

I find it nice reading along with people's final few days for some reason. Comforting even I suppose.

Best wishes.

 

[wiroho]

Where you do it? Wish you good luck.

 

[Dead Meat]

I wish you all the best Tim and a pleasant journey. May you find everlasting peace >3

 

[Jupiter]

All the best for you, Tim. Have a peaceful journey. Will think of you at midnight.

 

[lululoo]

I'm sorry. It's hard for me also to deal with not having experienced romantic love. No one has liked me, let alone loved me, for more than a few months. If I had that I would stay alive longer, even given my chronic pain.

 

[JustAboutDone]

All the best to you @goesforemast - thinking of you and wishing you a good journey xx

 

[goesforemast]

So. Last few minutes. Thank you for your kind words and all the nice conversations we shared. It was a pleasure meeting you guys. I am really going to miss you. I wish you all the best on your ways.

Ciao

 

[Retched]

Hope that you find the peace you seek.

 

[wiroho]

Good bye. Wish you all the best.

 

[JustAboutDone]

So. Last few minutes. Thank you for your kind words and all the nice conversations we shared. It was a pleasure meeting you guys. I am really going to miss you. I wish you all the best on your ways.

Ciao

Love to you

 

[Scottishchef]

All the best and good luck see you in the other side

 

[KatieW]

How shall we know what happened? Sorry if this is insensitive.

 

[johnny]

Damn, nothing since his last update over 12hrs ago saying he was about to drink it. I wonder if he made it successfully?

 

[Jackd]

Damn, nothing since his last update over 12hrs ago saying he was about to drink it. I wonder if he made it successfully?

@johnny , I wonder the same thing. As I'm doing the same method, waiting to see if this stuff really works

 

[wiroho]

@johnny , I wonder the same thing. As I'm doing the same method, waiting to see if this stuff really works

Nembutal? Yes shure best method.

 

[angie]

Damn, nothing since his last update over 12hrs ago saying he was about to drink it. I wonder if he made it successfully?

Do any of you know his anti emetic routine he took ??