Venting On my way

[Nx7]

I tried CTB two weeks ago - partial. Unfortunately, The setup is weak but I will give it another shot now. Given that my neck and throat were damaged.

I lost it all: my independence, my life abroad and now having to reside with family. The worst part is that I am back to a shithole country. It's my fault. My suicide letter was found and shared with the family and doctors. Also my fault.

I haven't bathed in 15 days, nor did get a haircut or anything. I know...I am acting out a bit too much. All I do is drink and keep jumping around hurting my feet and legs. No exaggeration on that. Because I am anxious thinking about the past.

Will go on now with another attempt. Starting in about 20 minutes. All the time... I black out but always come back because of the SI.

Will keep you updated. If I fail this attempt I will be back here to say so.

I tried CTB two weeks ago - partial. Unfortunately, The setup is weak but I will give it another shot now. Given that my neck and throat were damaged.

I lost it all: my independence, my life abroad and now having to reside with family. The worst part is that I am back to a shithole country. It's my fault. My suicide letter was found and shared with the family and doctors. Also my fault.

I haven't bathed in 15 days, nor did get a haircut or anything. I know...I am acting out a bit too much. All I do is drink and keep jumping around hurting my feet and legs. No exaggeration on that. Because I am anxious thinking about the past.

Will go on now with another attempt. Starting in about 20 minutes. All the time... I black out but always come back because of the SI.

Will keep you updated. If I fail this attempt I will be back here to say so.

Had a "last meal" and prepping now.

 

[CloudyNightSky]

Idk if you're still with us or if I'm late. I probably am but safe travels. Hope you found peace and freedom

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find peace! Good luck!

 

[lonelysadman89]

It's very sad to read this from another person. Your willingness to do it is incredible. If by any chance your CTB failed, I want to know a very full story about you. It's very interesting because I tried to CTB about 7 times and failed because I didn't know what to take in order to not vomitting like 60 pills, but someday I'll consider your method.

If it went well, I hope you're now in peace with yourself and if I somehow could send you a hug, I would do it.

Hope the best for you.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Wishing you luck and hoping you find the peace you deserve.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans, I hope that you find freedom from all the suffering.

 

[Nx7]

Failed but barely.I am back. I will add a few more steps to my improvised method.

It's very sad to read this from another person. Your willingness to do it is incredible. If by any chance your CTB failed, I want to know a very full story about you. It's very interesting because I tried to CTB about 7 times and failed because I didn't know what to take in order to not vomitting like 60 pills, but someday I'll consider your method.

If it went well, I hope you're now in peace with yourself and if I somehow could send you a hug, I would do it.

Hope the best for you.

I failed. But I hope it won't be for long. It's doable. If I am losing consciousness it means I am doing something right here and there. When you come back gasping for air it's crazy. Sleeping pills should do the trick hopefully.

 

[CloudyNightSky]

Failed but barely.I am back. I will add a few more steps to my improvised method.

I failed. But I hope it won't be for long. It's doable. If I am losing consciousness it means I am doing something right here and there. When you come back gasping for air it's crazy. Sleeping pills should do the trick hopefully.

Im sorry that you failed but still I'm grateful you're still with us. I think asking if you're sure you wanna ctb is not necessary since you already tried it 7 times and probably you're pretty sure about your decision best wishes and hope you don't feel too bad rn