Feeling forced to get married.

[Parnate]

I am 30 male, gay. M very uncomfortable with my orientation and can't come out. My family is asking me to see a girl, basically it will be her family and mine and we will see each other etc, arranged marriage .
When my family asked me if we should start seeing girls , I said yes cause had I said no they would have asked me why and tried to convince me and I didn't have the mental state and energy to face all that, I still don't have it. My family has finalised a girl and my dad called me regarding the same that maybe we should setup a meeting with them. Am feeling anxious and worried. I just dont want to go through all this.
Don't know what to do . I had barely gotten better.

 

[Soupster]

I mean, if you can't come out yet, tank the date. If she hates you, odds don't favor getting married. I know with arranged marriage type cultures you could still be basically forced, but just honestly fight it the best you can is my only advice.

 

[Holu]

:(. I'm sorry to hear this. I kinda understand why parents want their kids to have relationships and procreate, but at the same time it really isn't any of their business. If it's easier, cancel the date maybe just express this desire for them to not continue harassing or commenting about your relationship status, as opposed to coming out, and if you should find a partner of your preferred orientation then you can work it out between them at that point, or else you can just continue to keep it to yourself. Familial pressures can be tough, and I understand it's not as easy as I made it seem to confront situations, but should you be forced into a marriage is not fair to you, and it's not fair to whoever you were forced to marry. Your parents getting grandchildren is not worth the years of discomfort, repression, false love, and emotional pain you and the person you are forced to marry would experience.

Also as someone who knows what it's like going along with their parents wishes because it at least feels easier than confrontation, my advice is to remind yourself to just picture the consequences of actually going through with everything. If you believe that future you would probably hate you for the decision path you went down, it's a good indication to take a stand.