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tweaka2x

tweaka2x

CCCdreams
May 26, 2023
85
I've always wanted to die. I can't live here, not much longer. One night a few weeks ago I just wanted to stop the thoughts unknowingly bought a fentanyl laced pill and snorted it. Next thing I know my room is full of paramedics and I was apparently found not breathing. I was then in the ICU for a few nights. Throughout this whole situation man I just wish I knew that pill was lethal and wish I would've brought myself peaceful to die by myself
 
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B

bipbapbop

Experienced
Mar 7, 2024
276
That sounds horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that. How are you feeling now? Are you okay?
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,317
I'm sorry you have to go through this. How do you feel? Don't be too hard to yourself 🫂
 
M

momento.mori

Wake me up next year...
Mar 18, 2024
157
I've always wanted to die. I can't live here, not much longer. One night a few weeks ago I just wanted to stop the thoughts unknowingly bought a fentanyl laced pill and snorted it. Next thing I know my room is full of paramedics and I was apparently found not breathing. I was then in the ICU for a few nights. Throughout this whole situation man I just wish I knew that pill was lethal and wish I would've brought myself peaceful to die by myself
I wish I could get some fentanyl, I'd take it and sleep forever! You were almost there. How did you get busted?
 
tweaka2x

tweaka2x

CCCdreams
May 26, 2023
85
I wish I could get some fentanyl, I'd take it and sleep forever! You were almost there. How did you get busted?
It really felt like a forever sleep. It was beautiful. Got busted due to SI. Damn it's real wasn't even thinking about it. My brain was making my body make hella weird noises trying to take breaths even tho my respiratory system was completely depressed. This caused loud moaning noises and damage to my lungs
That sounds horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that. How are you feeling now? Are you okay?
I feel okay. A lot better than getting stuff shoved down my throat with no clue what's going on. Wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm surprised I'm alive tho. Wish it could've been someone else that could survive instead of me
 
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momento.mori

Wake me up next year...
Mar 18, 2024
157
It really felt like a forever sleep. It was beautiful. Got busted due to SI. Damn it's real wasn't even thinking about it. My brain was making my body make hella weird noises trying to take breaths even tho my respiratory system was completely depressed. This caused loud moaning noises and damage to my lungs

I feel okay. A lot better than getting stuff shoved down my throat with no clue what's going on. Wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm surprised I'm alive tho. Wish it could've been someone else that could survive instead of me
Doesn't it seem unfair? There are so many people desperately trying to stay alive, and will live forever if they could. We just want to simply go in peace! I became an organ donor because people said they would kill you for your organs if you ever were in an emergency situation and they wouldn't save you! Of course I signed up immediately and I'm an universal donor, what are theu waiting for?? But anyhow, what a crazy story, you were so close to being out if here. I never knew your body did that in those situations, I always seen it as a peaceful and quiet death.
 
tweaka2x

tweaka2x

CCCdreams
May 26, 2023
85
I
Doesn't it seem unfair? There are so many people desperately trying to stay alive, and will live forever if they could. We just want to simply go in peace! I became an organ donor because people said they would kill you for your organs if you ever were in an emergency situation and they wouldn't save you! Of course I signed up immediately and I'm an universal donor, what are theu waiting for?? But anyhow, what a crazy story, you were so close to being out if here. I never knew your body did that in those situations, I always seen it as a peaceful and quiet death.
I know right I've always seen it as the most peaceful way but yeah damn in that short amount of time my respiratory system was shut down I developed pneumonia the doctors said from either choking on my own blood coming from my lungs or my vomit. It was not as peaceful as you'd think. It's crazy I guess any form of death leaves quite a scene which is despicable in my opinion I wish it could be more simple
 
M

momento.mori

Wake me up next year...
Mar 18, 2024
157
I

I know right I've always seen it as the most peaceful way but yeah damn in that short amount of time my respiratory system was shut down I developed pneumonia the doctors said from either choking on my own blood coming from my lungs or my vomit. It was not as peaceful as you'd think. It's crazy I guess any form of death leaves quite a scene which is despicable in my opinion I wish it could be more simple
Do you have any long-term complications from that experience?
 
tweaka2x

tweaka2x

CCCdreams
May 26, 2023
85
Do you have any long-term complications from that experience?
Luckily no. Which is very lucky. I've had a cousin OD on heroin and he suffered a stroke while he was out and hasn't been able to speak since. That was a decade ago almost. Now everything is F and now I got laced and well. Luckily no long term issues only short term.
 
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momento.mori

Wake me up next year...
Mar 18, 2024
157
Luckily no. Which is very lucky. I've had a cousin OD on heroin and he suffered a stroke while he was out and hasn't been able to speak since. That was a decade ago almost. Now everything is F and now I got laced and well. Luckily no long term issues only short term.
Well least you both are OK now 🥰
 

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