Story Almost succeeded by accident and it was interesting

[imperfectcircle]

Honestly I'm barely sure what happened. It wasn't even supposed to be an attempt to ctb, I was just feeling miserable and the idea of practicing and getting a head rush was enticing. So (in the middle of a convo/argument with my bf) I practiced partial hanging.
It was only supposed to be for a second, I was going to answer his next text. I figured I wouldn't lose full consciousness just like all the other times. My last message to him was 7:46 pm, and at 7:54 pm he called me as soon as I woke up on the floor.
My experience was interesting. As I said, I genuienly wasnt ready yet. Fuck and I feel terrible that I definitely traumatized him. I feel like I lost consciousness immediately, I must have hit the best possible spot. Then at some point (I'm assuming the rope fell?) I felt like I was dreaming. It was like one of those dreams where you can't run or breathe because you're scared. I couldn't move at all, and I felt a pulsing tingling everywhere. It was almost like I was in a giant black room with white stars that were tingling. Then I realized I couldn't breathe, however I had no fucking clue what was happening, I genuinely thought I was dreaming and had no recollection of the fact that I was hanging. I tried my absolute hardest to breathe, but I couldn't. So I tried to move but I couldn't at all. With every failed breath I was attempting to move, and eventually (I'd say it felt like 30 secs to a minute) I could start feeling the floor and my legs. I could finally move and open my eyes and eventually I could breathe again. I woke up on the floor, covered in sweat (and drool or snot I think??). It finally hit me what happened after I woke up and my bf was calling me. Fuck me dude. The tip of my tongue is numb, my head hurts like hell, my entire face is red and purple with popped blood vessels. My eyes have popped blood vessels too. I cannot go out in public. I mean shit other than that I'm alive I guess. I'm not gonna lie, I wish it worked! I'd much rather that than this miserable ass outcome. I had to listen to my bf sob on the phone and then go tell his mom i attempted to kill myself. Fuck it was an accident, I'm truly such an idiot for practicing like that in the middle of convo and not being careful.
Insane experience, I've never felt anything like it. I keep wondering, if I didn't wake myself up would I be here? Idk tho lmk, the rope must've had to fall so I probably would've just given myself brain damage or something. I'm just praying I didn't do any serious damage to my body. My relationship is probably fucked tho unfortunately. Before anyone tells me I'm an idiot, I am WELL AWARE! I already got to listen to endless "why didn't you talk to me?! now i have to watch you 24/7?! i can never forgive you for this" etc. I'm just tired, but now I'm watching yt and hitting the bong with someone staying w me cuz Im not trusted alone. Can't say that experience made me want to ctb less, but it complicated things fs. Just a fucking unfortunate experience, I would've rather ctb and been in peace than berated and having to take care of someone else cuz they're traumatized.
Anyways that's my experience

 

[imperfectcircle]

It's the next morning. Tip of my tongue still numb, entire face discolored and my eyes look scary. Have had to console sobbing boyfriend for hours until it ended up with "fuck you stupid bitch" and hung up on. What a miserable situation. Holy shit I wish I just ctb, this is now the worst decision I have ever made. Everything is in shambles lol. Yet I feel completely numb emotionally, it's like I cried everything out last night. It'd pretty awesome that IM the one consoling, and it's cool being blamed.

 

[Dontwant2Bhere]

I don't know why nobody replied, but yeah, I had an almost similar experience myself. Was practicing, and before I knew it, I was waking up to the sound of my own screaming, coming back to from unconsciousness... Don't know how long I was out for. Hit that sweet spot, and literally it was like *bang*, I'm waking up screaming trying to figure out wtf was going on and trying to get the belt off my neck.

 

[imperfectcircle]

I don't know why nobody replied, but yeah, I had an almost similar experience myself. Was practicing, and before I knew it, I was waking up to the sound of my own screaming, coming back to from unconsciousness... Don't know how long I was out for. Hit that sweet spot, and literally it was like *bang*, I'm waking up screaming trying to figure out wtf was going on and trying to get the belt off my neck.

It's definitely interesting. Did you have any injuries or marks on your neck/face? I still have popped blood vessels in my eyes lmfao. Glad you're okay

 

[Dontwant2Bhere]

It's definitely interesting. Did you have any injuries or marks on your neck/face? I still have popped blood vessels in my eyes lmfao. Glad you're okay

No marks on my face, just neck. They went away fairly quick. Sounds like you were out longer than me

 

[Defatigatis]

So, you just stayed unconscious in like 8 minutes and felt all of that? Wow. hanging is more serious than i imaginated..

 

[imperfectcircle]

No marks on my face, just neck. They went away fairly quick. Sounds like you were out longer than me

I see, I guess so. My face was completely red and purple from popped blood vessels haha. Seems I got unlucky

So, you just stayed unconscious in like 8 minutes and felt all of that? Wow. hanging is more serious than i imaginated..

Yes I was unconscious basically as soon as I sat and put pressure on my neck. To be fair, the rope must have fallen, so I am honestly unsure of how this would feel if I had gone all the way. However as I said I had absolutely no recollection of the situation I was in, all I believed was that I was having some sort of dream where I could not breathe or move. Hanging is definitely serious lol

 

[Dontwant2Bhere]

I see, I guess so. My face was completely red and purple from popped blood vessels haha. Seems I got unlucky

Yes I was unconscious basically as soon as I sat and put pressure on my neck. To be fair, the rope must have fallen, so I am honestly unsure of how this would feel if I had gone all the way. However as I said I had absolutely no recollection of the situation I was in, all I believed was that I was having some sort of dream where I could not breathe or move. Hanging is definitely serious lol

At least you didn't wake up to the sounds of your own screams, lol. The whole experience plus that (afraid of alerting other people to the situation) was insanely f'd up!! Feel like I have PTSD from it.

Not minimizing your experience btw. Lol. Idk how anything could be worse than your experience, but somehow, waking up the way I did was the most terrifying experience in my entire life

 

[imperfectcircle]

At least you didn't wake up to the sounds of your own screams, lol. The whole experience plus that (afraid of alerting other people to the situation) was insanely f'd up!! Feel like I have PTSD from it.

Not minimizing your experience btw. Lol. Idk how anything could be worse than your experience, but somehow, waking up the way I did was the most terrifying experience in my entire life

Nah I'm not taking it as you minimizing!! Waking up to the sounds of screaming sounds pretty fucking messed up, I am honestly very grateful I didn't make noise (I think?) I would be so scared about alerting other people, I am honestly very lucky that no one heard or noticed. I wouldn't be surprised if you did develop PTSD. I am no expert by any means, but I'd consider that a traumatic event. My suicidal thoughts have been worse since then and I think about the experience a lot, so I really don't doubt the ability of that to traumatize someone. I'm glad you're still here

 

[RadioGaga]

I don't know why nobody replied, but yeah, I had an almost similar experience myself. Was practicing, and before I knew it, I was waking up to the sound of my own screaming, coming back to from unconsciousness... Don't know how long I was out for. Hit that sweet spot, and literally it was like *bang*, I'm waking up screaming trying to figure out wtf was going on and trying to get the belt off my neck.

What kind of belt did you use and was the placement above your Adam's Apple like so many people say? :(. Or no? :). Not really? And how was your set up exactly like? Was it in a closet? Or no? Not really?

 

[Dontwant2Bhere]

What kind of belt did you use and was the placement above your Adam's Apple like so many people say? :(. Or no? :). Not really? And how was your set up exactly like? Was it in a closet? Or no? Not really?

It was a plain leather belt, placement was below the Adams Apple (the lower the better for me, way more consistent passing out in my case). The key for me is to make sure when I tighten the belt against my neck, that the part coming out the back of my neck to my anchor point is coming from the exact middle of the neck, so that when I'm leaning forward the pressure is as close to the middle of my neck as possible. I had it going to a shower bar thing (that people use as a hand hold getting in and out of the shower) that I had drilled onto my wall high up. To anchor the belt to it, I ran a USB cable through the belt holes a bunch of times so it wouldn't come apart. And yes, it was in a closet.

Nah I'm not taking it as you minimizing!! Waking up to the sounds of screaming sounds pretty fucking messed up, I am honestly very grateful I didn't make noise (I think?) I would be so scared about alerting other people, I am honestly very lucky that no one heard or noticed. I wouldn't be surprised if you did develop PTSD. I am no expert by any means, but I'd consider that a traumatic event. My suicidal thoughts have been worse since then and I think about the experience a lot, so I really don't doubt the ability of that to traumatize someone. I'm glad you're still here

Thank you, and you as well!

 

[RadioGaga]

It was a plain leather belt, placement was below the Adams Apple (the lower the better for me, way more consistent passing out in my case). The key for me is to make sure when I tighten the belt against my neck, that the part coming out the back of my neck to my anchor point is coming from the exact middle of the neck, so that when I'm leaning forward the pressure is as close to the middle of my neck as possible. I had it going to a shower bar thing (that people use as a hand hold getting in and out of the shower) that I had drilled onto my wall high up. To anchor the belt to it, I ran a USB cable through the belt holes a bunch of times so it wouldn't come apart. And yes, it was in a closet.

Thank you, and you as well!

What made you fail you think? Was it that as you thrashed around(when you're unconscious your body will thrash around) that the noose might've slipped down or loosened up a bit which then causes you to wake up?

 

[Dontwant2Bhere]

What made you fail you think? Was it that as you thrashed around(when you're unconscious your body will thrash around) that the noose might've slipped down or loosened up a bit which then causes you to wake up?

I think so? I was pretty low to the ground, semi-kneeling. My legs might have pushed me up when I was unconscious too, not sure.

 

[RadioGaga]

I think so? I was pretty low to the ground, semi-kneeling. My legs might have pushed me up when I was unconscious too, not sure.

Like it probably loosened up a bit? As you were thrashing around? :(.

 

[Dontwant2Bhere]

Like it probably loosened up a bit? As you were thrashing around? :(.

Was unconscious. It's impossible to know for sure. I just know the pressure loosened up enough, somehow, for me to get blood flow back to the brain.

 

[m3nhera]

Honestly I'm barely sure what happened. It wasn't even supposed to be an attempt to ctb, I was just feeling miserable and the idea of practicing and getting a head rush was enticing. So (in the middle of a convo/argument with my bf) I practiced partial hanging.
It was only supposed to be for a second, I was going to answer his next text. I figured I wouldn't lose full consciousness just like all the other times. My last message to him was 7:46 pm, and at 7:54 pm he called me as soon as I woke up on the floor.
My experience was interesting. As I said, I genuienly wasnt ready yet. Fuck and I feel terrible that I definitely traumatized him. I feel like I lost consciousness immediately, I must have hit the best possible spot. Then at some point (I'm assuming the rope fell?) I felt like I was dreaming. It was like one of those dreams where you can't run or breathe because you're scared. I couldn't move at all, and I felt a pulsing tingling everywhere. It was almost like I was in a giant black room with white stars that were tingling. Then I realized I couldn't breathe, however I had no fucking clue what was happening, I genuinely thought I was dreaming and had no recollection of the fact that I was hanging. I tried my absolute hardest to breathe, but I couldn't. So I tried to move but I couldn't at all. With every failed breath I was attempting to move, and eventually (I'd say it felt like 30 secs to a minute) I could start feeling the floor and my legs. I could finally move and open my eyes and eventually I could breathe again. I woke up on the floor, covered in sweat (and drool or snot I think??). It finally hit me what happened after I woke up and my bf was calling me. Fuck me dude. The tip of my tongue is numb, my head hurts like hell, my entire face is red and purple with popped blood vessels. My eyes have popped blood vessels too. I cannot go out in public. I mean shit other than that I'm alive I guess. I'm not gonna lie, I wish it worked! I'd much rather that than this miserable ass outcome. I had to listen to my bf sob on the phone and then go tell his mom i attempted to kill myself. Fuck it was an accident, I'm truly such an idiot for practicing like that in the middle of convo and not being careful.
Insane experience, I've never felt anything like it. I keep wondering, if I didn't wake myself up would I be here? Idk tho lmk, the rope must've had to fall so I probably would've just given myself brain damage or something. I'm just praying I didn't do any serious damage to my body. My relationship is probably fucked tho unfortunately. Before anyone tells me I'm an idiot, I am WELL AWARE! I already got to listen to endless "why didn't you talk to me?! now i have to watch you 24/7?! i can never forgive you for this" etc. I'm just tired, but now I'm watching yt and hitting the bong with someone staying w me cuz Im not trusted alone. Can't say that experience made me want to ctb less, but it complicated things fs. Just a fucking unfortunate experience, I would've rather ctb and been in peace than berated and having to take care of someone else cuz they're traumatized.
Anyways that's my experience

I hate how sometimes you can try to do something on purpose and it doesn't work, but the ONE TIME you don't plan for it to work it does. As if life is always going the opposite of the way you want. In a sense that's why we're all here.

Honestly I'm barely sure what happened. It wasn't even supposed to be an attempt to ctb, I was just feeling miserable and the idea of practicing and getting a head rush was enticing. So (in the middle of a convo/argument with my bf) I practiced partial hanging.
It was only supposed to be for a second, I was going to answer his next text. I figured I wouldn't lose full consciousness just like all the other times. My last message to him was 7:46 pm, and at 7:54 pm he called me as soon as I woke up on the floor.
My experience was interesting. As I said, I genuienly wasnt ready yet. Fuck and I feel terrible that I definitely traumatized him. I feel like I lost consciousness immediately, I must have hit the best possible spot. Then at some point (I'm assuming the rope fell?) I felt like I was dreaming. It was like one of those dreams where you can't run or breathe because you're scared. I couldn't move at all, and I felt a pulsing tingling everywhere. It was almost like I was in a giant black room with white stars that were tingling. Then I realized I couldn't breathe, however I had no fucking clue what was happening, I genuinely thought I was dreaming and had no recollection of the fact that I was hanging. I tried my absolute hardest to breathe, but I couldn't. So I tried to move but I couldn't at all. With every failed breath I was attempting to move, and eventually (I'd say it felt like 30 secs to a minute) I could start feeling the floor and my legs. I could finally move and open my eyes and eventually I could breathe again. I woke up on the floor, covered in sweat (and drool or snot I think??). It finally hit me what happened after I woke up and my bf was calling me. Fuck me dude. The tip of my tongue is numb, my head hurts like hell, my entire face is red and purple with popped blood vessels. My eyes have popped blood vessels too. I cannot go out in public. I mean shit other than that I'm alive I guess. I'm not gonna lie, I wish it worked! I'd much rather that than this miserable ass outcome. I had to listen to my bf sob on the phone and then go tell his mom i attempted to kill myself. Fuck it was an accident, I'm truly such an idiot for practicing like that in the middle of convo and not being careful.
Insane experience, I've never felt anything like it. I keep wondering, if I didn't wake myself up would I be here? Idk tho lmk, the rope must've had to fall so I probably would've just given myself brain damage or something. I'm just praying I didn't do any serious damage to my body. My relationship is probably fucked tho unfortunately. Before anyone tells me I'm an idiot, I am WELL AWARE! I already got to listen to endless "why didn't you talk to me?! now i have to watch you 24/7?! i can never forgive you for this" etc. I'm just tired, but now I'm watching yt and hitting the bong with someone staying w me cuz Im not trusted alone. Can't say that experience made me want to ctb less, but it complicated things fs. Just a fucking unfortunate experience, I would've rather ctb and been in peace than berated and having to take care of someone else cuz they're traumatized.
Anyways that's my experience

This is the first time I thought of the blood vessel thing, I'm an idiot and for some reason thought when you hang yourself or fail hanging you still look normal after, are popped blood vessels dangerous? Is the look temporary? How long does it take to go away from hanging?

 

[imperfectcircle]

I hate how sometimes you can try to do something on purpose and it doesn't work, but the ONE TIME you don't plan for it to work it does. As if life is always going the opposite of the way you want. In a sense that's why we're all here.

This is the first time I thought of the blood vessel thing, I'm an idiot and for some reason thought when you hang yourself or fail hanging you still look normal after, are popped blood vessels dangerous? Is the look temporary? How long does it take to go away from hanging?

yeah so real like of course it works in the most inconvenient times!
haha yeah honestly i didn't consider the blood vessel thing either. they're not dangerous at all, in fact you can pop the blood vessels in your eyes from coughing too hard, puking, etc. (that's how i've been lying about my appearance lol). it is temporary, though the eyes heal slowly like a bruise and the blood reabsorbs. i hung myself on the 31st of march, and as of today (april 20th), the eyes are JUST about healed, but they have a tiny bit of red still in them. the blood vessels in my face only took a few days to go away. so just very inconvenient, not dangerous or life altering.