nothing will ever be enough for me

[zurukunai]

i have a lot of reasons to live and not many good reasons to die

but at this point it's as if i've wired my brain in such a way that any sort of mild disappointment or perceived betrayal ignites an instant urge towards decisive violence

i avoid it usually

i am considering cutting myself again; i haven't done that in about 5 years. i'm out of cigs and booze and rent is due tomorrow. things are mostly fine except for how angry i am

happy halloween

 

[ariewist]

Felt the same way with the brain! Do you ever get any passive thoughts of disappointment that just eats away to the point where you have to default to your vices? Whenever a thought comes up for me, I always try to smoke the pain away but it's temporary and I'm tired. Running out of money, and tired of spending it on weed but it's the only way I can survive rn. Sorry for responding and everything just found this relatable.

Happy halloween

 

[zurukunai]

Felt the same way with the brain! Do you ever get any passive thoughts of disappointment that just eats away to the point where you have to default to your vices? Whenever a thought comes up for me, I always try to smoke the pain away but it's temporary and I'm tired. Running out of money, and tired of spending it on weed but it's the only way I can survive rn. Sorry for responding and everything just found this relatable.

Happy halloween

yeah, that's basically the same way i live. used to be weed now it's alcoholism