Venting nothing grand in life

[Harulvrr]

its awful when you didn't put effort into anything because u never expected to live this long.
I've been telling myself for 3 years that I wouldn't live past each year, yet Im still here. when I survived my suicide attempt last year, I suddenly felt like I went past my due date, like im already expired. I feel like someone who's not supposed to live.
I don't even know how to continue living when I haven't achieved anything. it just seems so hopeless for me to try and get better when all my peers already reached their goals or are on the right path. it's so demotivating to know I have to rebuild my whole life
thx for reading, lack of sleep making me unstable again bruh

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

its awful when you didn't put effort into anything because u never expected to live this long.
I've been telling myself for 3 years that I wouldn't live past each year, yet Im still here. when I survived my suicide attempt last year, I suddenly felt like I went past my due date, like im already expired. I feel like someone who's not supposed to live.
I don't even know how to continue living when I haven't achieved anything. it just seems so hopeless for me to try and get better when all my peers already reached their goals or are on the right path. it's so demotivating to know I have to rebuild my whole life
thx for reading, lack of sleep making me unstable again bruh

how old are you ?