Note your level of mental distress now

[solely.pain]

8/10
Today sucks, but I've had worse days.

 

[walliwalli]

7/10, tired and clearly at the end of my rope if i spent my afternoon looking up methods and registering here. was supposed to be doing homework but lately it's been extremely hard to focus on that and other responsibilities when i believe there's a chance i might CTB soon.

tomorrow to celebrate chinese new year i'm attending a dinner party practically all day with my family and a close friend. i am worried i won't be able to pretend everything's okay and will shut down early into the day. not that anyone will notice but it will be exhausting for me, maybe a little sad as well.

my afternoon has been oddly calm but i will probably cry about all this later before i sleep.

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

maybe a 5/10

this morning (technically last night for me cause i work overnight shifts) felt like a 10/10. i said something awful and hurt one of my friends. the mental stress was to the point that it caused me to relapse and start cutting again.

I still feel awful, but i know that theres really not much i can do besides just try to move on. ill probably cut some more after work tomorrow morning

 

[tomame]

10/10

 

[RiftbornVeil]

8/10.

A peer whom I work with for an extracurricular degraded me and my work. It's too much. I have an exam on Thursday for a class I despise. I can't talk to anyone about this. I want it to end, so badly. I wish I could purchase my method of choice, but my purchases are monitored. And I would need to get a PO box. I wish I could just go to sleep, and never wake. Eternal slumber. I just figured out that I won't be able to CTB because of this for around two years. I am forced to endure this torment and agony for two years longer. And I'll do it all with a smile fixed to my face, because no one can know.

 

[Defenestration]

Even its 2/10 m'y goal is always to die

 

[slowlydying2mrrw]

10000/10

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I popped a couple propranolol but before that this was probably my worst day yet. I've been here all day. The pain is bearable as long as I sit on the couch. I don't have the courage to go buy a gun. I've given up on hanging a few times but now it's back. I know my ideation isn't realistic. But I am currently soothing myself by thinking about hanging myself outside after sundown. (Probably in the morning--I wake up around 3am these days).

 

[Defenestration]

10000/10

Whats happen???

J'ai pris deux comprimés de propranolol, mais avant ça, c'était sans doute ma pire journée. Je suis coincé ici depuis ce matin. La douleur est supportable tant que je reste assis sur le canapé. Je n'ai pas le courage d'aller acheter une arme. J'ai renoncé à me pendre plusieurs fois, mais l'envie revient. Je sais que ce n'est pas réaliste. Mais pour l'instant, je me réconforte en imaginant me pendre dehors après le coucher du soleil. (Probablement le matin, car je me lève vers 3 heures ces temps-ci).

 

[jenson]

10/10. I lost 185 dollars on some OF subscriptions that I forgot to unsubscribe that I only got in the first place because I accepted that I'm a loser that doesn't do well with people. Losing that 185 further cemented that. I got a massive breakout on my neck, probably because of the stress. And I'm posting again on this site which is the biggest indicator.

 

[Defenestration]

10/10. J'ai perdu 185 dollars sur des abonnements OF que j'avais oublié de résilier. Je les avais pris uniquement parce que j'avais accepté mon statut de raté, incapable de m'entendre avec les autres. Perdre ces 185 dollars n'a fait que confirmer cette impression. J'ai une poussée d'acné importante sur le cou, probablement à cause du stress. Et me revoilà sur ce site, ce qui est un signe révélateur.

i understand your dolor

 

[slowlydying2mrrw]

Whats happen???

Short story: having a bad mental health day and losing my sanity.

Long story: I'm recovering from narcissistic abuse from my last relationship a year ago and since I have BPD, it just keeps taking what worth I have. I documented my recordings and uploaded them on my own YouTube channel so I'd have proof since today I feel the effects of her gaslighting. Like the abuse was deserved and sometimes I suppress to forget.

A random youtuber recently dedicated a song to me several hours ago because he saw my channel, so he low key randomly helped my spirit a little..... I'm grateful he took the time, even though I don't know why.....

Please check out the song if you're interested (it was sweet of him to make it) :

Thanks for asking, kind stranger.

 

[mistercarrot1]

9/10 - High. Can't find a method that's accessible to me.

 

[DeadManLiving]

8

 

[Defenestration]

Today 4

 

[bakenohana]

6/10

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,

The unit to measure this in is alephs (א).

 

[Defenestration]

3/10 little hope

 

[FadingSnowFake]

7-8 pure miserableness

 

[Norf I Guess]

9/10, just had a bipolar episode completely derail my life in the span of two hours, tried stabbing myself in the neck, and now I'm back to reality, realizing how much I fucked

 

[ariissorry]

2/10

 

[Defenestration]

2/10

9/10, je viens de vivre une crise de bipolarité qui a complètement chamboulé ma vie en deux heures, j'ai essayé de me poignarder le cou, et maintenant je suis de retour à la réalité, réalisant à quel point j'ai merdé.

Injuries?

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

9

 

[Spite]

8/10. I am so fucking sick to death of the "invisible bullying" I am subjected to at my workplace for five days a week. I hate having to repeat the same boring, soul-crushing routine every single day. I hate reporting to a job where nobody gives a fuck about me. I just about can't take it anymore.

 

[eyenumbing]

7/10

 

[Defenestration]

5

 

[Dinozauria]

Maybe like 5/10. Definitely alright compared to other days, definitely not alright compared to others tho lmfao

 

[Defenestration]

4

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

8.5

I live on my phone. I scroll this website and Wikipedia lists of suicides all day. Meanwhile I listen to YouTube videos from smarter people.

God, how I wish I'd lived differently. I've had bad thought patterns and a screwed up personality since I was very young. I had a lot of potential that just burned up. And there's no going back.

I'm old now with 1. nothing (in terms of money, skills, network, social life) and 2. a memory that tortures me incessantly with shame and regret.

I hate to give up. I hate to accept that this is me forever. One life for all eternity and it was a bust. No second chance, no correction. I was just bad. That nightmare does motivate me to somehow try to fix myself but I fear it's too late and I already "turned out."

 

[Defenestration]

8.5

Je vis sur mon téléphone. Je passe mes journées à parcourir ce site web et les listes de suicides sur Wikipédia. En même temps, j'écoute des vidéos YouTube de personnes plus intelligentes.

Mon Dieu, si seulement j'avais vécu autrement. J'ai eu de mauvaises habitudes de pensée et une personnalité perturbée depuis mon plus jeune âge. J'avais un potentiel énorme qui s'est évaporé. Et il n'y a pas de retour en arrière.

Je suis vieux maintenant, avec 1. rien (en termes d'argent, de compétences, de réseau, de vie sociale) et 2. un souvenir qui me torture sans cesse de honte et de regret.

J'ai horreur d'abandonner. J'ai horreur d'accepter que ce soit moi pour toujours. Une seule vie pour l'éternité, et elle a été gâchée. Pas de seconde chance, pas de correction. J'étais tout simplement mauvaise. Ce cauchemar me pousse encore à essayer de me racheter, mais je crains qu'il ne soit trop tard et que j'aie déjà « déraillé ».

Same.always.in my phone