artificialpasta
Member
- Feb 2, 2020
- 88
I'm dying from debilitating illness and need to end my suffering. But I don't want to die at all. I loved life and never ever thought about suicide... never thought I'd need to. I am suffering greatly though and can't take much more. But i continue to suffer bcuz I don't have the guts to do it.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,331
I think there are some pro-lifers but there are people when they joined were suicidal but have changed their mind... at least for now. Also there are people in Recovery. (Not sure if you are including them too)
I am too. I don't want to kill myself either but there is a limit and I think i'm reaching it here soon. What is your illness/symptoms?
Gaius_Baltar
Nothing But The Rain
- Apr 14, 2020
- 22
my daughter has asperger's and is depressed and has potential suicidal tendencies ... i am not equipped to just make that go away and neither are her doctors
i am here because it is a wonderful resource and i learn more from the posters here than i have ever learned about her feelings anywhere else ...
reading the forum ( i will rarely post here) ... has helped me develop an empathy i was previously lacking
i am here because it is a wonderful resource and i learn more from the posters here than i have ever learned about her feelings anywhere else ...
reading the forum ( i will rarely post here) ... has helped me develop an empathy i was previously lacking
Oyoy
Spatula
- Feb 2, 2020
- 741
You sound like a really nice mom. That's so kind.
artificialpasta
Member
- Feb 2, 2020
- 88
thank you. I'm glad you took this kind of effort :)
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,331
Welcome to the board.
So sorry for what has brought you here. I guess something has brought us all here. P.S. Like your screen name. Are you a Galactica fan ? Reboot or TOS ?
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
I saw the thread title and expected to enter a contentious thread, but the OP was so nice and utterly unaggressive, with zero creep vibe, and people are responding with such openness and kindness, it has been a pleasant surprise. @Gaius_Baltar is my favorite person on the planet at the moment.
I am not suicidal per se, but external circumstances beyond my control that I don't discuss are such that suicide is the most rational response to those circumstances, though I'm not rushing it. I've done lots of research and planning thanks to this site, and I work out a lot of my own stuff here, sometimes like an interactive therapeutic journal, especially as I am an external thinker. I also am simultaneously isolated, extroverted, and communicative, so the forum gives me the opportunity to socialize similarly to how I would irl, that is, to expand my horizons, have intelligent conversations, grow as a person, and both receive and give helpful support. It's not always a smooth ride here, just as irl, but it's often a very beneficial one for me.
I am not suicidal per se, but external circumstances beyond my control that I don't discuss are such that suicide is the most rational response to those circumstances, though I'm not rushing it. I've done lots of research and planning thanks to this site, and I work out a lot of my own stuff here, sometimes like an interactive therapeutic journal, especially as I am an external thinker. I also am simultaneously isolated, extroverted, and communicative, so the forum gives me the opportunity to socialize similarly to how I would irl, that is, to expand my horizons, have intelligent conversations, grow as a person, and both receive and give helpful support. It's not always a smooth ride here, just as irl, but it's often a very beneficial one for me.
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Donk
Useless since day 1
- Jan 3, 2020
- 1,129
No bcuz i won't get a "of sound mind" diagnosis. I'm already labeled by the drs in US. They are trying to take my ability to make my own decisions away. Literally in court
Gaius_Baltar
Nothing But The Rain
- Apr 14, 2020
- 22
Depends on your age. You don't have to report your mental issues - your physical illness alone may be enough. Them asking me for they letter was a bit of an afterthought on their part, again likely due to my age and me having young children.
Suez
Experienced
- Feb 27, 2020
- 279
What a beautiful thing to do for your daughter. If more dads took the time to understand their childrens pain and see what its like to walk in their shoes then there would be alot less suffering for children like your daughter. You were able to see her pain through her eyes. You would be a great asset to other dads out there who are trying to reach their children but having no success? Ive just got starry eyes...........................................................................................................................
your my idol.
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a.n.kirillov
velle non discitur
- Nov 17, 2019
- 1,831
It is funny because there is a double standard with so called mental illnesses and 'soundness of mind'. There are legal tests that determine whether a person is decisionly capable and most 'mentally ill' people would pass these tests. We let depressed people drive cars, fly planes, take out loans, buy houses, raise children, work in nuclear plants, become president, but not make a simple decision about whether or not they want to go on living.
Apathy79
Arcanist
- Oct 13, 2019
- 489
I came here because my best friend mentioned this site before he ctb. He'd discussed a previous attempt and his mental issues that led to it with me before - he really hated himself with a ferocity that didn't make sense to me, but his life appeared perfect to everyone else - rich, physically healthy, smart, loving parents, siblings, wife, kids, etc. On inspection, I don't think he posted here, but I've managed to connect with others who have the same issue. Gives me a different feel for life and its appearance vs essence.
muffin222
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2020
- 1,188
artificialpasta
Member
- Feb 2, 2020
- 88
What do you think of your friend's decision, if you don't mind me asking? sorry for your loss
StillWaiting
Need cats to comfort me
- Jul 28, 2018
- 550
Does knowing that you will commit suicide one day but not now considered as non-suicidal?
Apathy79
Arcanist
- Oct 13, 2019
- 489
Oh no worries, it was a while ago now!
Having had the chat with him about a previous attempt beforehand and knowing the same issues still persisted, it wasn't a shock like it was to everyone else.
I'm an each to their own guy. He knew what he was doing. He'd carried the mental anguish since childhood, even if I couldn't understand it, it was obviously profoundly difficult to live with. It wasn't impulsive. And he left his family in a position where they could support themselves. So it is what it is and there's no negative judgment.
I think part of the reason I came here and stayed is the lingering query about whether I could have helped when he opened up, or subsequently. And more broadly whether anyone like me who hasn't felt the same pain personally can really understand or help. I still don't know the answer to that but being here helps get a better picture.
Myforevercharlie
Global Mod
- Feb 13, 2020
- 3,092
I stayed behind after my friend ctb in February. Although im not suicidal, i have an anxiety disorder, depression, adhd/add combination and BPD. Far to many labels. Been through therapy for 3 years in a row and probably need medication for the rest of my life.
I absolutely still have my dark days, but for the most part, i can see the sun shine through a cloud.
I know it's cliche, but i stayed here to help, but get help in return. I've learned quite a lot the last few years, and have love enough to share. The stories other people tell me, teach me much about life, myself, but especially them. I know it's a bit insane to befriend people who really don't want to be here. But in my eyes, everyone is valuable, regardless of what they are, do or want.
It's not always easy, but what i get here in return make me want to stay.
Im so glad im not the only one...
I absolutely still have my dark days, but for the most part, i can see the sun shine through a cloud.
I know it's cliche, but i stayed here to help, but get help in return. I've learned quite a lot the last few years, and have love enough to share. The stories other people tell me, teach me much about life, myself, but especially them. I know it's a bit insane to befriend people who really don't want to be here. But in my eyes, everyone is valuable, regardless of what they are, do or want.
It's not always easy, but what i get here in return make me want to stay.
Im so glad im not the only one...
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not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,331
I'm a fan of the reboot as well. TOS … not so much. I've seen it on one of the channels that run classic tv.
Anyway … I don't want to derail this thread. Again, I'm sorry for you and your daughter's situation.
It's good that you are able to come here to better understand your daughter, most people would not.
Most won't even try to understand what someone may be going through, just say useless platitudes like "Things will get better"
For some people it might but for many of us it won't. I hate that choosing to ends ones life is the only way to make it better ... especially for young people but I do support someone's right to end it if they choose.
Thanks for reading and Take Care.
I'm guessing you mean, could you have offered your friend more support ? I don't think you could have talked him out of it. I have made up my mind and it's not going to change. I did tell a friend of mine I wanted to die a few years ago. Didn't go very well, but at least he didn't call the cops.
We don't talk about it anymore. I don't think he knows how serious I am about it either. You are correct that if you haven't been in the same amount of pain, it's very difficult to understand. Some people won't even try though.
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Notabadguy
Mage
- Feb 7, 2020
- 576
I understand Gaius_Baltar or whoever fears to lose a beloved one due to suicide, or pepole who actually lost a beloved one due to suicide. Losing a child due to suicide must be the worst thing in the world, literally. But I don't understand people who don't feel suicidal (now or eventually, due to sickness or whatever) and enter this site just out of curiosity, whatever the excuse. It's utterly unkind and inconsiderate. You don't go to a funeral just out of curiosity, you respect the grief. I want to CTB due to circumstances, not unbearable, but it's my decision. But I know the pain I will leave behind, it's difficult, it's scary, and I, personally, don't need people watching out of curiosity
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I have aspergers too you remind me of my own mum who would regularly try to find out ways to relate and help me. You sound like a great mum and very kind:)
Myforevercharlie
Global Mod
- Feb 13, 2020
- 3,092
Im not here because im curious. Read my post again. I respect your choice.
But as far as Im aware this is a pro choice forum. So, both can be here.
I really wish you well in your journey.
Notabadguy
Mage
- Feb 7, 2020
- 576
You're right, this is a pro-choice forum.
RottenDeer
Rotten to the core.
- Feb 29, 2020
- 157
To write my opinion. I have been very suicidal past years and I just want to have a place where I know I'm not judged.
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