Non-suicidal users of SS, why are you here?

[SNOB]

i was suicidal, now im not. my circumstances changed almost over night

i stayed around incase i could help people come thru their dark days

i also feel a strange sense of power and also relief that i now have the knowledge to ctb whenever i might wish. it has brought about deep philosophical questions i never thought of before. there are some really intelligent, courageous brave souls on this board, i like to read their points of view

 

[Epsilon0]

I discovered this site long before actually becoming a member. At the time I was suicidal and actively researching my method of choice.

Now I have no plans to ctb, although I live with chronic illness which makes me hate my life and prevents me from being physically active and doing what I want to do.

I am also to a certain degree an antinatalist, a cynic and a misanthrope, and I enjoy talking about these topics. In my real life I have responsabilities (family and work) so there is no place for that kind of philosophizing.

You could say I came here for the methods and stayed for the conversation.

 

[itsamadworld]

my daughter has asperger's and is depressed and has potential suicidal tendencies ... i am not equipped to just make that go away and neither are her doctors

i am here because it is a wonderful resource and i learn more from the posters here than i have ever learned about her feelings anywhere else ...

reading the forum ( i will rarely post here) ... has helped me develop an empathy i was previously lacking

My father has asperger's. I inherited it, but it is different in females than in males, so I hear... Life was hell for me socially. I was born in the 80s....and because when I grew up there was not as much awareness on mental health, until my generation people started to actually commit suicide or attempt....I had many attempts, One pretty serious. I was told it was a cry for help....That is the biggest joke and insult in the world...NO, I legit tried to leave this earth! I was just found! I don't care about that type of attention. I want the hell to stop! ....I can remember my parents and grandparents would say manipulative stuff like "You kids are so lucky today..." BUt many in my family grew up farmers, or were in the military, poor, or education and everything was all about poor me, we worked so hard, authoritarian, pick yourself up by the bootstraps- type of mentality, or it's growing pains....It couldn't possibly be that society sucks for sensitive people or that all this world is about is money, money, money...It's lonely, this modern world and overwhelming and I WANT TO LEAVE IT...SO now i have my EXIT STRATEGY.....but it's a....No....buck up, Soldier!....Not that I asked for to be born, and I sure as heck would rather be out in nature -that the farmers tore down to feed a growing population,-then bullied and harassed in schools and getting my ass kicked at home by my older siblings and family....That was like in the 80's/90's....Even my grandparents in the end couldn't deny it- Life on earth with the was getting worse as population increased and they could see the pollution in the rivers...By 2000's I didn't hear that from any of them anymore....It's a good thing you are aware of your daughters suffering, and looking for answers....

 

[Conflicted Cat]

Well, I'm not suicidal... Anymore. But, I still pop in here from time to time, like now, just to see how people are doing, and just listen to people and what they have to say. I'm more of a listener than a talker, and I don't usually have anything to add to people's posts now, as what I want to say has usually already been said.

I used to regularly come here when I was suicidal but things changed. I slowly started becoming more and more afraid of losing the things I've come to know and love. I'm not going to pretend that my life is all shit. Many things have brought me joy.

But people here swearing up and down that there is 100% nothing after death only made me more afraid to do it. And lose everything. Lose all my memories. No afterlife. What little friends I've made and family, things that have brought me joy, just... Gone. No way to even remember them. If that's really true, that's not what I'm after.

I found myself less being able to relate to the people here. Everyone seemed to be chasing death for something different, when all I wanted was an afterlife filled with no judgment, and peace, where everyone just gets to be happy, and keep their memories.

 

[SanJunipero1]

my daughter has asperger's and is depressed and has potential suicidal tendencies ... i am not equipped to just make that go away and neither are her doctors

i am here because it is a wonderful resource and i learn more from the posters here than i have ever learned about her feelings anywhere else ...

reading the forum ( i will rarely post here) ... has helped me develop an empathy i was previously lacking

This is so wonderful, I wish more people were like you. And I wish I myself had found this place before my fiancé took his own life, I think he would've found so much love and support here.

Oh no worries, it was a while ago now!

Having had the chat with him about a previous attempt beforehand and knowing the same issues still persisted, it wasn't a shock like it was to everyone else.

I'm an each to their own guy. He knew what he was doing. He'd carried the mental anguish since childhood, even if I couldn't understand it, it was obviously profoundly difficult to live with. It wasn't impulsive. And he left his family in a position where they could support themselves. So it is what it is and there's no negative judgment.

I think part of the reason I came here and stayed is the lingering query about whether I could have helped when he opened up, or subsequently. And more broadly whether anyone like me who hasn't felt the same pain personally can really understand or help. I still don't know the answer to that but being here helps get a better picture.

I wish more people would take the time. They never would but I wish I could direct my fiancé's friends and family here for them to better understand.

 

[SleeplessSoul]

Does knowing that you will commit suicide one day but not now considered as non-suicidal?

I relate to this a bit. I was suicidal and now I'm sort of in between being suicidal and not being suicidal? I'm pretty sure I will commit suicide one day though

 

[StillWaiting]

I relate to this a bit. I was suicidal and now I'm sort of in between being suicidal and not being suicidal? I'm pretty sure I will commit suicide one day though

Can't see myself living another 20 years but there's nothing really pushing me to do it now

 

[AnnonyBox]

If I may ask, what is it like to wake up each day and not yearn for the void of nonexistence? Is there anything that makes you truely happy, or do you content yourself with distractions?

 

[K-O]

my daughter has asperger's and is depressed and has potential suicidal tendencies ... i am not equipped to just make that go away and neither are her doctors

i am here because it is a wonderful resource and i learn more from the posters here than i have ever learned about her feelings anywhere else ...

reading the forum ( i will rarely post here) ... has helped me develop an empathy i was previously lacking

I RESPECT THAT VERY MUCH! THAT IS A GOOD WAY OF SHOWING LOVE X

i am actually a dad, but thank you



very much the reboot :)

DAD IS THAT U?...... WISHFUL...

 

[bpdandme]

my daughter has asperger's and is depressed and has potential suicidal tendencies ... i am not equipped to just make that go away and neither are her doctors

i am here because it is a wonderful resource and i learn more from the posters here than i have ever learned about her feelings anywhere else ...

reading the forum ( i will rarely post here) ... has helped me develop an empathy i was previously lacking

You sounds like a great dad, please PM me if you want to know anything or understand anything better.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

my daughter has asperger's and is depressed and has potential suicidal tendencies ... i am not equipped to just make that go away and neither are her doctors

i am here because it is a wonderful resource and i learn more from the posters here than i have ever learned about her feelings anywhere else ...

reading the forum ( i will rarely post here) ... has helped me develop an empathy i was previously lacking

I think that is a very realistic and humble attitude and does you much credit.

I came here to die. I started to talk, looking for answers and understanding.
I made friends. I lost them all.
The community dragged me out of my hole and encouraged me to re-engage.
I did, and gradually became part of the community.
Now I'm here for the support, to share my experience, to offer support if I can and to mess about and annoy people with gifs.
Because people here tend to understand and not condemn me for my weaknesses. I can be myself and not be judged.

 

[RainAndSadness]

That's interesting. I didn't know there would be so many members that aren't actively suicidal. I understand that some of us recover from their pain and manage to leave their desire to ctb behind but I'm surprised to see people in this forum that aren't suicidal at all. But it makes sense I guess. You could join this forum for philosophical/political reasons, for the community (which is the most supporting community I've ever interacted with), for a method you maybe don't intend to use immediately but once life gets worse etc.

Well, you never stop learning I guess.

 

[Remember to forget]

This is a great thread, it's great read people stories.
I have been suicidal on and off most of my life but at the moment I am in a good place.
Coming here has helped me so much. I was apprehensive joining because I didn't feel the sorry and pain that some people do here all the time. The posts I read sometimes break my heart and I don't really know how to reply so maybe I don't contribute much.
3 weeks ago I was practicing my hanging and rope skills, I thought the time had come but emotions can change so much so quickly so it's great to be here to share experiences including positive and uplifting ones.

 

[K-O]

I think that is a very realistic and humble attitude and does you much credit.

I came here to die. I started to talk, looking for answers and understanding.
I made friends. I lost them all.
The community dragged me out of my hole and encouraged me to re-engage.
I did, and gradually became part of the community.
Now I'm here for the support, to share my experience, to offer support if I can and to mess about and annoy people with gifs.
Because people here tend to understand and not condemn me for my weaknesses. I can be myself and not be judged.

I love that! just makes me happy! so does your avatar xxxx

 

[Klee]

I have been suicidal on and off for around 10 years - this time was worse, and I personally came on as I was undecided about a method. Ironically, once I decided on a method, and felt that I could carry it out competently and be successful, I was much more willing to keep trying for another day.. it's strange how that happens.