Venting No one cares if you die when you're an unattractive woman

[angelhealing]

I read a post today that said people (even women) don't like talking to ugly women and see it as a waste of time. And it's true all my life I have been ignored, never had friends, people don't even say hi to me. At best, they pity me and talk to me like I'm a retarded child. As an ugly woman, I'll always be alone. I will never experience love, romance, sex, or friendship. Is this a life worth living?
And I'm sick of people telling me to go to therapy. I did therapy for years and even took antidepressants. But therapy and drugs cant help when your life objectively sucks. People like me need real friends who genuinely like you and enjoy spending time with you. Not a person who is paid to pretend to listen to you and fake sympathy for 45 minutes.
It's cruel to keep a person who is deprived of all things that make humans happy alive. Something that hurts me a lot is that no one will mourn my death. Usually, when a young woman dies everyone says she was beautiful and it was a waste for her to die. But in my case, everyone will be like meh nothing of value was lost. So, basically being ugly makes me worthless.

 

[TheHatedOne]

But therapy and drugs cant help when your life objectively sucks. People like me need real friends who genuinely like you and enjoy spending time with you. Not a person who is paid to pretend to listen to you and fake sympathy for 45 minutes.

^ facts right here. Gotta love it when they tell to someone who's friendless and alienated ''just go to therapy bro and talk there'' like why tf pay when many are already broke to have a random person for a limited time who's only interested in your money and nothing more? I'm sick of these idiots telling people to go to therapy when all they need is someone to talk to, someone to listen to them, a fellow friend. If you are socially acceptable they will gather at your feet, if not, ''go to therapy bro''.

I feel myself within what you've written so much. Having the curse of being both AFAB and ugly, I've faced bullying and harsh treatment pretty much everywhere I went. I was the ugliest person in the classroom both in middle school, high school and university. It hurt a lot to see how the other girls were treated like goddesses while I was treated like a fucking criminal who committed every crime possible.

They're not even subtle about it, you can clearly see the treatment of a beautiful person vs an ugly one. If you're ugly you're going to be dismissed everywhere and be told ''you're not entitled to friendship/relationship/intimacy/belonging/love etc.'' even if these are actually needs and they're at our core of being a human.

Wish I had something useful to say; but I'm also trying to face this harsh reality where pretty much everything is revolved around lookism. Worst part is that we had no control over how we look, yet we are judged the most about it.

 

[olkf]

No one cares if you die when you're an unattractive man

 

[Its like that]

I feel the truth in your words.

 

[TooConscious]

Thing is, you are also engineered to want an attractive man,
Go find the ugliest man you can find and make him happy...

But all of us are guilty of thinking we deserve more.
Which we probably do.
But finding the fellow ugly people had become harder and harder by the day since technology makes it easier for them to isolate and bend us to their will even more. It's sick.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I have always been unattractive, whenever I accidentally see my reflection in the mirror it is a very unpleasant feeling. Even if I tried to wear makeup it would not improve anything. However I think at this point I am past caring, it is nothing to do with why I want to die.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, life is very unfair. I do not think therapy helps anything, talking does not fix problems, the whole point of therapy is just for people to make money. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. Living a empty existence can be dreadful. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

Everybody, sing!

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you!"

If only anybody listened...

 

[Somber]

I would think that at least your loved ones would care if you die, and I'm uncertain whether that makes suicide easier or more difficult.

In the end though, It's not about people caring after you are dead, but rather when you were still alive.

 

[Ligottian]

Everybody, sing!

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you!"

If only anybody listened...

I love 60's oldies music and I love this song. Jimmy Soul, 1963. Made it to #1 on the US Pop Chart... One of my biggest crushes was on a girl that most guys would have considered in the average to unattractive range.

 

[StarryStarry]

I read a post today that said people (even women) don't like talking to ugly women and see it as a waste of time. And it's true all my life I have been ignored, never had friends, people don't even say hi to me. At best, they pity me and talk to me like I'm a retarded child. As an ugly woman, I'll always be alone. I will never experience love, romance, sex, or friendship. Is this a life worth living?
And I'm sick of people telling me to go to therapy. I did therapy for years and even took antidepressants. But therapy and drugs cant help when your life objectively sucks. People like me need real friends who genuinely like you and enjoy spending time with you. Not a person who is paid to pretend to listen to you and fake sympathy for 45 minutes.
It's cruel to keep a person who is deprived of all things that make humans happy alive. Something that hurts me a lot is that no one will mourn my death. Usually, when a young woman dies everyone says she was beautiful and it was a waste for her to die. But in my case, everyone will be like meh nothing of value was lost. So, basically being ugly makes me worthless.

 

[whatevs]

I read a post today that said people (even women) don't like talking to ugly women and see it as a waste of time. And it's true all my life I have been ignored, never had friends, people don't even say hi to me. At best, they pity me and talk to me like I'm a retarded child. As an ugly woman, I'll always be alone. I will never experience love, romance, sex, or friendship. Is this a life worth living?
And I'm sick of people telling me to go to therapy. I did therapy for years and even took antidepressants. But therapy and drugs cant help when your life objectively sucks. People like me need real friends who genuinely like you and enjoy spending time with you. Not a person who is paid to pretend to listen to you and fake sympathy for 45 minutes.
It's cruel to keep a person who is deprived of all things that make humans happy alive. Something that hurts me a lot is that no one will mourn my death. Usually, when a young woman dies everyone says she was beautiful and it was a waste for her to die. But in my case, everyone will be like meh nothing of value was lost. So, basically being ugly makes me worthless.

I feel like this recurring theme of "ugly thus can't be happy" never addresses the actual reasons one is unhappy. I understand that being ugly means in some occasions people will completely snub you, but how do you explain all the ugly, fat people out there that carry on and even seem content? Most people are not hot, sexy etc. There must be something else to happiness than being sexually attractive.

Just because you want to fuck someone doesn't mean they have a great conversation or similar interests to you. There is truth to lookism but it fails to explain how so many ugly people live long, sufficiently satisfying lives and don't kill themselves.

 

[StarryStarry]

I'm not the best looking chick on the block. But you know something I have found that the good looking people have no heart or soul. They believe their looks will take them wherever they want to go and that may be true, but what would happen to them if they were disfigured? They couldn't deal with their lives. I believe (I know this sounds corny) that beauty is on the inside - it's how people treat others - that's what makes them beautiful. Not the physical - the physical can be gone in the wink of an eye, but the beauty inside is forever. So, my advice is to look inside yourself. What kind of person are you? And quite honestly you say that you're not pretty - that may be your opinion (we are all hard on ourselves). You may dislike some things about your looks, but are you really seeing you or are you seeing what others say about you? Wishing you all the best.

 

[TooConscious]

I thought dating someone who felt they were unattractive would mean they'd be faithful.
But once they get some confidence back, they will respond to other men's advances of which they get more of now she's 'taken' she's a win for these arse holes who do that sort of thing.

Men-women vice versa... To be cliche - Relationships suck, they aren't worth the pain. I'd rather find an escort who's trustworthy, that you click with and Is good at their job. Than having a ton of drama lovers feasting of your energy whilst you slide further into the gutter.

 

[NormaJeane]

I read a post today that said people (even women) don't like talking to ugly women and see it as a waste of time. And it's true all my life I have been ignored, never had friends, people don't even say hi to me. At best, they pity me and talk to me like I'm a retarded child. As an ugly woman, I'll always be alone. I will never experience love, romance, sex, or friendship. Is this a life worth living?
And I'm sick of people telling me to go to therapy. I did therapy for years and even took antidepressants. But therapy and drugs cant help when your life objectively sucks. People like me need real friends who genuinely like you and enjoy spending time with you. Not a person who is paid to pretend to listen to you and fake sympathy for 45 minutes.
It's cruel to keep a person who is deprived of all things that make humans happy alive. Something that hurts me a lot is that no one will mourn my death. Usually, when a young woman dies everyone says she was beautiful and it was a waste for her to die. But in my case, everyone will be like meh nothing of value was lost. So, basically being ugly makes me worthless.

All people will get old and ugly with the passage of time. Yeah, there are people who want to die because of their looks, which is not strange in a look-fixated world and it is harder for women than for men. Look at Madonna - she has had operations and facelifts so now she looks 40 years younger than she really is.

 

[whatevs]

All people will get old and ugly with the passage of time. Yeah, there are people who want to die because of their looks, which is not strange in a look-fixated world and it is harder for women than for men. Look at Madonna - she has had operations and facelifts so now she looks 40 years younger than she really is.

It didn't work though. Madonna doesn't look young, just abnormal, and old all the same.

 

[bleeeeeep]

i completely understand how you are feeling. it's heartbreaking to watch how differently you are treated compared to women who are attractive. no matter how much you try to tell yourself you're above it, at the end of the day, no matter what you do or where you go, you are constantly reminded of how you're seen as a lesser human being because you're ugly. i'm sorry i don't have something more helpful or reassuring to say but your words resonate with me a lot. i was bullied for years for not being attractive in any way. i'm still treated awfully by people who don't even bother to speak to me, because they see someone who is not worthy of being interacted with. it still hurts, even after all this time being this ugly.

i'm sending you all my best wishes!

 

[Somber]

All people will get old and ugly with the passage of time. Yeah, there are people who want to die because of their looks, which is not strange in a look-fixated world and it is harder for women than for men. Look at Madonna - she has had operations and facelifts so now she looks 40 years younger than she really is.

Is that Marilyn Monroe as your profile pic?
Didn't 't she commit suicide over aging looks?

 

[Crocodiledundee]

I'm not the best looking chick on the block. But you know something I have found that the good looking people have no heart or soul. They believe their looks will take them wherever they want to go and that may be true, but what would happen to them if they were disfigured? They couldn't deal with their lives. I believe (I know this sounds corny) that beauty is on the inside - it's how people treat others - that's what makes them beautiful. Not the physical - the physical can be gone in the wink of an eye, but the beauty inside is forever. So, my advice is to look inside yourself. What kind of person are you? And quite honestly you say that you're not pretty - that may be your opinion (we are all hard on ourselves). You may dislike some things about your looks, but are you really seeing you or are you seeing what others say about you? Wishing you all the

Im above average,but the girls im most attracted to are the average or a little below average. My ex would tell me that im so much hottier than her and ask why im not with someone better looking, id give her compliments and she would reject them and accuse me of lying, It was so draining. I didnt like always being referred to as "sooo hot" it hurt my feelings after awhile. Confidence is soooo important. Above average girls already have so much attention given to them, why give them anymore? Lol

 

[miserableforever]

I'm considered above average by others. I wouldn't know cause I have BDD besides the GAD, OCD, and BPD.
Life has been filled with rape attempts, mean people, and dumb comments cause I don't dress like a 'pretty girl' should. I've been living in slippers and baggy sweatpants for years, unless it's work.
My parents both abandoned me. Mom kicked me out after my uncle had me sit on his lap.. They were all supposedly very attractive humans.
I had to move out by 14 and deal with the opposite gender during job interviews and whatever life threw at me. While being a university student several professors tried to get touchy. One consistently gave me good grades cause he wanted to call on the weekends.
I hoped my body would look like crap after having 2 kids. Went from overeating to anorexia back and forth probably 50 times throughout my life.
When I divorced, my ex tried to rape me many times. It's been 3 years and he's still after me even though he remarried just to 'upset me' cause he imagines me in high heels.
Hate this life and the whole beauty bs.

I have no friends, so I wouldn't know who the good and the bad guys are.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I thought dating someone who felt they were unattractive would mean they'd be faithful.
But once they get some confidence back, they will respond to other men's advances of which they get more of now she's 'taken' she's a win for these arse holes who do that sort of thing.

Men-women vice versa... To be cliche - Relationships suck, they aren't worth the pain. I'd rather find an escort who's trustworthy, that you click with and Is good at their job. Than having a ton of drama lovers feasting of your energy whilst you slide further into the gutter.

Yeh pretty much what you described is my dream just one you can pay and get what you want.

At least ugly people don't have to watch their beauty fade they didn't have it to begin with . That's a rough spot for a lot of people

 

[TooConscious]

Is that Marilyn Monroe as your profile pic?
Didn't 't she commit suicide over aging looks?

Wasn't she given a hotshot via orders of Kennedy brothers after they'd got tired of passing her between themselves.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I don't like the title of this thread. Nobody cares when an unattractive man dies either. I can appreciate your plight but not when you act like it only effects women when thats just wrong.

 

[Superdeterminist]

It's absolutely true that people tend to value less the opinions of people they consider ugly. It's just a brutal and horrible fact about the universe, on par with "some people just get cancer and die". Life can be unbelievably evil.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I don't like the title of this thread. Nobody cares when an unattractive man dies either. I can appreciate your plight but not when you act like it only effects women when thats just wrong.

Where did she say or imply this effects only women?

 

[Shu]

someone is always gonna care if any of us here die. somebody loves us

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Where did she say or imply this effects only women?

In the title.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

In the title.

Because she said "unattractive women" and not "unattractive person"? Maybe she wanted to vent about her personal experience being a women? She didn't downplay the struggles of unattractive men or anything.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Because she said "unattractive women" and not "unattractive person"? Maybe she wanted to vent about her personal experience being a women? She didn't downplay the struggles of unattractive men or anything.

Ok. I'm not going back and forth on this. You're right.

 

[PreussenBlueJay]

Unattractive men and women both go through a great deal of romantic failure and that makes both far less likely to put themselves out there since their perceptions of their own desirability get really warped. Personally, there was a girl that I came to like even though I couldn't tell myself that she was physically beautiful, but I had gotten to know her over a long period of time and she was a very charming and kind person. She ended up with a great guy and did so by being confident in herself and not giving up hope. On my end it hurt a lot to lose (again!) but I thought it was both instructive and inspiring.

Without physical attractiveness you can't quickly pull in possible mates but you sure can find people with whom you can build lasting relationships because their attraction to you won't be built on a shallow foundation. Maybe it goes that way but honestly I have yet to find any success.

 

[Mocon33]

I read a post today that said people (even women) don't like talking to ugly women and see it as a waste of time. And it's true all my life I have been ignored, never had friends, people don't even say hi to me. At best, they pity me and talk to me like I'm a retarded child. As an ugly woman, I'll always be alone. I will never experience love, romance, sex, or friendship. Is this a life worth living?
And I'm sick of people telling me to go to therapy. I did therapy for years and even took antidepressants. But therapy and drugs cant help when your life objectively sucks. People like me need real friends who genuinely like you and enjoy spending time with you. Not a person who is paid to pretend to listen to you and fake sympathy for 45 minutes.
It's cruel to keep a person who is deprived of all things that make humans happy alive. Something that hurts me a lot is that no one will mourn my death. Usually, when a young woman dies everyone says she was beautiful and it was a waste for her to die. But in my case, everyone will be like meh nothing of value was lost. So, basically being ugly makes me worthless.

This changes as you get older. Everyone loses their attractiveness as they age, so we all get on more of an equal footing as we get old. I appreciate a pretty woman as much as the next guy, but less attractive women are friendlier.