Venting No one came to my birthday party

[squillykilly]

I planned weeks in advance for my friends to come to my birthday party which was yesterday, (my actual bday on the 11th) and the plan was, We go to my favorite restaurant, get dinner and then play some pool, and then head home to continue the night with some board games and mario party and a fire. I bought a bunch of snacks and fire wood and cleaned the whole area, I even set up some decorations at my house.
So I made a groupchat with 14 people in it. 5 had to cancel, 1 got sick, my dad got sick aswell. That's fine, people are still gonna come to the dinner.
So I have dinner with my friends, I got a 100 dollar gift card and an alcoholic drink. That's really all I got, but I don't care, I just wanted to spend time with them. And I knew that 6 of them weren't coming back to my place, so that left me with 3 people coming back to my place. And then. They cancelled last minute.
I'm so upset, this was my first every birthday party, I set everything up and spent weeks planning it. One of the guys who cancelled is my best friend in the whole world, he drove me home and asked if I was okay, I just said no and that it was probably the alcohol making me feel bad. I got home and my mum (yes I live with my mum) was like "Oh is it just you?" And I was like "yeah." And she asked if I was okay and I had to say yes before going to my room and breaking down.
I later had the fire by myself and my best friend called me to check on me.
I'm surprised I didn't relapse.
But yeah, that's it. I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, this happened last year aswell, god I hate my life I hate everyone. I want to ctb so bad, I clearly wouldn't be missed.

 

[K-pin]

Damn I'm sorry man. People suck. Happy Birthday to you tho (even if this happened last year)

 

[endboss]

Happy birthday!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Happy Birthday

 

[Necrosis]

Happy birthday. Sorry to hear about all the cancelations. I had a similar experience with my first time hosting. Just try to enjoy your clean space snd your leftover snacks :,) and your friend checking in definitely cares. Things happen and its not always personal. This doesn't negate the disappointment, but definitely talk to your friends about it if you need to. Cancelations last minute are pretty cruel.... I hope if you have one next year, it all goes to plan <3

 

[android]

Happy birthday, my friend. Sending you love.

 

[Kanoh]

Happy birthday. I'm sorry it turned out that way and at the same time kind of jealous you had some people who would at least go for a dinner with you lol.

 

[absolutethistime]

Happy birthday

 

[fadedghost]

I planned weeks in advance for my friends to come to my birthday party which was yesterday, (my actual bday on the 11th) and the plan was, We go to my favorite restaurant, get dinner and then play some pool, and then head home to continue the night with some board games and mario party and a fire. I bought a bunch of snacks and fire wood and cleaned the whole area, I even set up some decorations at my house.
So I made a groupchat with 14 people in it. 5 had to cancel, 1 got sick, my dad got sick aswell. That's fine, people are still gonna come to the dinner.
So I have dinner with my friends, I got a 100 dollar gift card and an alcoholic drink. That's really all I got, but I don't care, I just wanted to spend time with them. And I knew that 6 of them weren't coming back to my place, so that left me with 3 people coming back to my place. And then. They cancelled last minute.
I'm so upset, this was my first every birthday party, I set everything up and spent weeks planning it. One of the guys who cancelled is my best friend in the whole world, he drove me home and asked if I was okay, I just said no and that it was probably the alcohol making me feel bad. I got home and my mum (yes I live with my mum) was like "Oh is it just you?" And I was like "yeah." And she asked if I was okay and I had to say yes before going to my room and breaking down.
I later had the fire by myself and my best friend called me to check on me.
I'm surprised I didn't relapse.
But yeah, that's it. I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, this happened last year aswell, god I hate my life I hate everyone. I want to ctb so bad, I clearly wouldn't be missed.

It may not be you. It may be that people just don't want to play board games and mario in a home with your relatives. it also could be random. you still had dinner with a lot of people, right, like 9 people went to a birthday dinner for you? That's more friends than I have. Honestly, I feel like you are over-reacting. Many people also get worn out socially from doing stuff. Like dinners for me are often boring, even if the people are nice, and they especially are boring if they are long. I can totally understand people only being able to do 1 of those, especially if it was a long 1 hour plus dinner. That's a lot of social politeness to endure in a formal setting, and playing mario cart after and board games while a parent is there sounds like more "enduring" instead of fun, especially because when interacting with older family members of a friend, a special form of politeness and awareness has to occur, and usually that's challenging and NOT relaxing. Most people want to either get shit faced hanging out somewhere with friends, or go out to a club and possibly meet someone to get laid. Neither the dinner nor video games involved getting wasted or possibly getting laid. This is not a reflection on you, you're just bad at choosing activities people would actually enjoy. Next time try birthday bar hopping, with appetizers at some super cheap place between bar 2 and bar 3. Everyone will show up.

yeah, i have thought about it more. you're completely over-reacting and interpreting this the wrong way. people like you, you have friends, you're not a natural party planner. it's not personal.

 

[Nolongerlive]

Happy Birthday to you !

 

[SomeDude]

Yeah that sucks, I really feel that part when you have to say your ok but youre actually a mess...
Almost always when I open up to some people and actually tell them how I feel, they make it much worse :/

None the less let me say Happy Birthday :)

Not to sound rude or anything, thats just my stupid humor but...
isnt it funny how everyone says "Happy Birthday" but it actually wasnt that happy kind of ironic

... sorry...
If I can do anything to make your day somewhat better let me know

 

[shade123]

Happy birthday to you

 

[Sept1stismyenemy]

Unfortunately I feel like this is becoming a more common experience, I would have stayed for your birthday, we've all got your back, from way over here. I hope you got to sad eat a ridiculous amount of cake

 

[cyanidekitty]

im so sorry :(( you deserved more on your special day. happy late bday

yeah, i have thought about it more. you're completely over-reacting and interpreting this the wrong way. people like you, you have friends, you're not a natural party planner. it's not personal.

your points do make sense but dont you think its a bit insensitive to tell others wether or not they were overreacting?

this person was probably really excited & if their friends were just not feeling it, they could've said something. especially considering the fact that they said "they planned weeks in advance "

 

[theendoftheroad]

Happy late birthday

 

[thelostautistic]

Happy belated birthday. I'm sorry that your friends let you down. You didn't deserve that. I'm really proud of you for getting through the rest of the day and not relapsing

 

[Lost21]

Happy Birthday. Hoping next year will be better

 

[Nothing.]

Happy Birthday!

 

[Drogon]

Happy birthday friend

 

[piger]

I planned weeks in advance for my friends to come to my birthday party which was yesterday, (my actual bday on the 11th) and the plan was, We go to my favorite restaurant, get dinner and then play some pool, and then head home to continue the night with some board games and mario party and a fire. I bought a bunch of snacks and fire wood and cleaned the whole area, I even set up some decorations at my house.
So I made a groupchat with 14 people in it. 5 had to cancel, 1 got sick, my dad got sick aswell. That's fine, people are still gonna come to the dinner.
So I have dinner with my friends, I got a 100 dollar gift card and an alcoholic drink. That's really all I got, but I don't care, I just wanted to spend time with them. And I knew that 6 of them weren't coming back to my place, so that left me with 3 people coming back to my place. And then. They cancelled last minute.
I'm so upset, this was my first every birthday party, I set everything up and spent weeks planning it. One of the guys who cancelled is my best friend in the whole world, he drove me home and asked if I was okay, I just said no and that it was probably the alcohol making me feel bad. I got home and my mum (yes I live with my mum) was like "Oh is it just you?" And I was like "yeah." And she asked if I was okay and I had to say yes before going to my room and breaking down.
I later had the fire by myself and my best friend called me to check on me.
I'm surprised I didn't relapse.
But yeah, that's it. I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, this happened last year aswell, god I hate my life I hate everyone. I want to ctb so bad, I clearly wouldn't be missed.

i've found that most birthdays get less special

I planned weeks in advance for my friends to come to my birthday party which was yesterday, (my actual bday on the 11th) and the plan was, We go to my favorite restaurant, get dinner and then play some pool, and then head home to continue the night with some board games and mario party and a fire. I bought a bunch of snacks and fire wood and cleaned the whole area, I even set up some decorations at my house.
So I made a groupchat with 14 people in it. 5 had to cancel, 1 got sick, my dad got sick aswell. That's fine, people are still gonna come to the dinner.
So I have dinner with my friends, I got a 100 dollar gift card and an alcoholic drink. That's really all I got, but I don't care, I just wanted to spend time with them. And I knew that 6 of them weren't coming back to my place, so that left me with 3 people coming back to my place. And then. They cancelled last minute.
I'm so upset, this was my first every birthday party, I set everything up and spent weeks planning it. One of the guys who cancelled is my best friend in the whole world, he drove me home and asked if I was okay, I just said no and that it was probably the alcohol making me feel bad. I got home and my mum (yes I live with my mum) was like "Oh is it just you?" And I was like "yeah." And she asked if I was okay and I had to say yes before going to my room and breaking down.
I later had the fire by myself and my best friend called me to check on me.
I'm surprised I didn't relapse.
But yeah, that's it. I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, this happened last year aswell, god I hate my life I hate everyone. I want to ctb so bad, I clearly wouldn't be missed.

adult birthdays tend to suck, i'm sorry you got flaked on. I can barely get my friends to wish me a happy birthday without them needing reminders or having it on a calendar. Everyone has their own lives and it's hard to align something like that perfectly or get the time out of people you want. I get pretty down most years now but thankfully it's worked out a little bit when i've tried to plan something small.

Doing all this shit for them really makes me question how much I really am friends with people and it screws with your head! Are they there because they care or because they feel bad/obligated? It's a far simple answer for a complicated question.

 

[fadedghost]

im so sorry :(( you deserved more on your special day. happy late bday

your points do make sense but dont you think its a bit insensitive to tell others wether or not they were overreacting?

this person was probably really excited & if their friends were just not feeling it, they could've said something. especially considering the fact that they said "they planned weeks in advance "

I'm not really good at being sensitive, you may be right.

 

[Untimely]

Happy birthday!!

 

[flowerbomb]

Happy birthday!!

 

[squillykilly]

It may not be you. It may be that people just don't want to play board games and mario in a home with your relatives. it also could be random. you still had dinner with a lot of people, right, like 9 people went to a birthday dinner for you? That's more friends than I have. Honestly, I feel like you are over-reacting. Many people also get worn out socially from doing stuff. Like dinners for me are often boring, even if the people are nice, and they especially are boring if they are long. I can totally understand people only being able to do 1 of those, especially if it was a long 1 hour plus dinner. That's a lot of social politeness to endure in a formal setting, and playing mario cart after and board games while a parent is there sounds like more "enduring" instead of fun, especially because when interacting with older family members of a friend, a special form of politeness and awareness has to occur, and usually that's challenging and NOT relaxing. Most people want to either get shit faced hanging out somewhere with friends, or go out to a club and possibly meet someone to get laid. Neither the dinner nor video games involved getting wasted or possibly getting laid. This is not a reflection on you, you're just bad at choosing activities people would actually enjoy. Next time try birthday bar hopping, with appetizers at some super cheap place between bar 2 and bar 3. Everyone will show up.

yeah, i have thought about it more. you're completely over-reacting and interpreting this the wrong way. people like you, you have friends, you're not a natural party planner. it's not personal.

I am friends with nerdy gamers that spend their time with eachother in the exact same way as I planned. My friends are not horny teenager that are desperate to get shitfaced and get laid. I see them posting about playing boardgames and doing all those things I had planned. I asked them SEVERAL times what they would like to do, and they were all excited about the boardgames and such.
I'm not a natural party planner cuz I have never had friends like this before, I've never had a birthday party, and they already bailed on me the past two years. I do think I shouldn't be too upset about this but I have severe abandonment issues and being left behind like this hurts.
You don't know everyone's situation.

I'm not really good at being sensitive, you may be right.

Why do you think it's a good idea to respond to people on Sanctioned SUICIDE if you are not good at being "sensitive". It's called being empathetic.

 

[thelostautistic]

yeah, i have thought about it more. you're completely over-reacting and interpreting this the wrong way. people like you, you have friends, you're not a natural party planner. it's not personal.

I think this is a bit harsh. Whilst there may have been valid reasons for the others not showing up it's equally valid to be upset about being let down.

 

[fadedghost]

Why do you think it's a good idea to respond to people on Sanctioned SUICIDE if you are not good at being "sensitive". It's called being empathetic.

I generally don't think the entire purpose of this forum is just people being empathetic to others. A lot of people on here are actively planning suicide and just want a place to discuss that.

I also thought that it was likely that a long dinner plus board games was a lot and thought that was probably the reason and it would be more helpful to share that perspective that just say a generic "I'm so sorry. Happy Birthday." In my mind, it seemed like you were thinking no one liked you enough to go back there, and in my mind I was thinking I don't like long dinners and bet a lot of people don't and maybe that was actually the reason.

Just because I'm not incredibly empathetic with a high EQ doesn't mean I'm going to just not post on here or not respond. I'm already very isolated, I'm probably going to die of suicide at some point and am actively planning my own death, and I like getting to know people here. I also am not a psychic who can predict how people will respond to everything. Some of what I post will upset people, that's just how it is.

but yes, i wish i hadn't responded to this knowing the reaction i got.

 

[Matchaaa]

happy birthday
and I'm sorry you had to go through this

 

[ladidabi]

 

[squillykilly]

I generally don't think the entire purpose of this forum is just people being empathetic to others. A lot of people on here are actively planning suicide and just want a place to discuss that.

I also thought that it was likely that a long dinner plus board games was a lot and thought that was probably the reason and it would be more helpful to share that perspective that just say a generic "I'm so sorry. Happy Birthday." In my mind, it seemed like you were thinking no one liked you enough to go back there, and in my mind I was thinking I don't like long dinners and bet a lot of people don't and maybe that was actually the reason.

Just because I'm not incredibly empathetic with a high EQ doesn't mean I'm going to just not post on here or not respond. I'm already very isolated, I'm probably going to die of suicide at some point and am actively planning my own death, and I like getting to know people here. I also am not a psychic who can predict how people will respond to everything. Some of what I post will upset people, that's just how it is.

but yes, i wish i hadn't responded to this knowing the reaction i go

I'm sorry for my reaction, this week has been generally awful for me and I've been crying nonstop, just something as small as people not coming to the party I had planned was the straw that broke the camels back. I have a lot of experiences with these friends of feeling left out and abandoned, and I thought that a birthday party would finally convince them they have to hang out with me (which is already a bad mindset I know), but yeah.. it meant a lot to me, and the dinner wasn't that long either.
Idk I'm really messy rn

 

[LonelyPrince]

Happy birthday I'm so sorry that happened to you. Something similar happened to me: you really can't trust people lol