onlyeverexisting
Member
- Nov 24, 2019
- 33
I'm so tired of people giving me spiritual or metaphysical answers to fix clinical depression when I didn't ask for it. It's already hard to reach out to people irl because I feel like such an absolute burden, it makes it 10x harder to do it when I come back feeling even worse.
I'm not trying to come after anyone who's religious- really, I'm glad that people have found something that makes sense to them and brings comfort in this shitty world- but that doesn't resonate with me, and I wasn't asking to be converted to whatever in the first place. I get that it comes from a good place too, I get that that's what the person feels they can offer at that moment, but that's not helpful to me because I never asked for it. And even trying to have that conversation means one side is going to feel hurt and invalidated for their beliefs, which really just makes things worse for everyone.
Sometimes you just need to be seen as a human being for what you're going through, especially when you have a chronic mental illness that will most likely never go away, and has never been even slightly affected by people praying over me or sending good vibes. My life is a cycle of maintenance to hold on to life, and that maintenance will not suddenly become obsolete if I accept Jesus, or "open my 3rd eye", or starting going to church again, or have reiki done, or whatever else we hold on to to try to find some inherent order in this world where I don't believe there is any.
Besides, doesn't everything just boil down to "faith" that it'll work? It doesn't seem to matter if it's a more traditional religion or new-agey. Let's say for a moment I can actually suspend my disbelief- if I still even slightly question whether it will do anything for me, it won't do anything for me, based on the fact that I believe on some level it won't do anything for me. It's just a waste of time and frustration for everyone involved, and isn't sympathetic to my needs. I just wish people understood this.
I'm not trying to come after anyone who's religious- really, I'm glad that people have found something that makes sense to them and brings comfort in this shitty world- but that doesn't resonate with me, and I wasn't asking to be converted to whatever in the first place. I get that it comes from a good place too, I get that that's what the person feels they can offer at that moment, but that's not helpful to me because I never asked for it. And even trying to have that conversation means one side is going to feel hurt and invalidated for their beliefs, which really just makes things worse for everyone.
Sometimes you just need to be seen as a human being for what you're going through, especially when you have a chronic mental illness that will most likely never go away, and has never been even slightly affected by people praying over me or sending good vibes. My life is a cycle of maintenance to hold on to life, and that maintenance will not suddenly become obsolete if I accept Jesus, or "open my 3rd eye", or starting going to church again, or have reiki done, or whatever else we hold on to to try to find some inherent order in this world where I don't believe there is any.
Besides, doesn't everything just boil down to "faith" that it'll work? It doesn't seem to matter if it's a more traditional religion or new-agey. Let's say for a moment I can actually suspend my disbelief- if I still even slightly question whether it will do anything for me, it won't do anything for me, based on the fact that I believe on some level it won't do anything for me. It's just a waste of time and frustration for everyone involved, and isn't sympathetic to my needs. I just wish people understood this.