Venting Nightmares/ intrusive thoughts

[lostmylove]

Been having these everyday since my partner passed away a week ago. No idea how to stop them.

I also have been getting the occasional intrusive thoughts about previous sexual experiences with him. Witch I do not want to think about at all now it's highly inappropriate

Any ideas how to stop this ?

 

[sealbabies]

Yeah, I have had those. I have a huge problem with insomnia now because of nightmares surrounding my partner.
I've even had nightmares in succession that I tried to take 2 hour breaks between and reason away. Though it didn't work...
One of my intrusive nightmares turned both him and me into abusively ugly people towards one another in order to make me believe that's why he's not here.
That messes me up REALLY bad and are by far the worst. Then ofc there are those that give you false hope and make you think everything real was the nightmare, but you wake up.

And all the good from him I long for hurts. So yes very inappropriate feelings that emotionally wreck me.

I'm so so sorry you are also going through this as well.

 

[lostmylove]

Yeah, I have had those. I have a huge problem with insomnia now because of nightmares surrounding my partner.
I've even had nightmares in succession that I tried to take 2 hour breaks between and reason away. Though it didn't work...
One of my intrusive nightmares turned both him and me into abusively ugly people towards one another in order to make me believe that's why he's not here.
That messes me up REALLY bad and are by far the worst. Then ofc there are those that give you false hope and make you think everything real was the nightmare, but you wake up.

And all the good from him I long for hurts. So yes very inappropriate feelings that emotionally wreck me.

I'm so so sorry you are also going through this as well.

It's crazy how the brain can just attack itself but then put up barriers to stop it being turned off, what a sick joke life can be

 

[sealbabies]

It's the one thing that really cemented in my head how cruel the world actually is... how cruel our brains are.
Even though I had so many struggles before he died, there was always this inkling of hope and good that persisted in the world...
but now anything good out there feels like a mockery of those who are this lost and hurt. Death has already taken me, in a way, since he died.

 

[Smart No More]

Benzos (diazepam, aprazolam, lorazepam etc) and z drugs (zolpidem&zopiclone) cause amnesia for the duration of their effects. Usually the day after rather than in the moment. The Z's are more amnesiac in my experience but they're a short term sokution and if used for any significant time 1 or 2 weeks and above, you'll experience withdrawals and with that comes horid nightmares if you manage to sleep and all sorts of other nasties. Id you're grieving they can help but use very sparingly! You could of course consult a specialist or even just a doctor foe support. Just be cautious of being thrown antidepressants like a hot potato. They come with significant issues and withdrawals too and are said to take upwards of 3 weeks to even start to work. I have a personal gripe with these things though so maybe don't rule them out entirely on my say so. Hope you find your way. :)

 

[sealbabies]

Benzos (diazepam, aprazolam, lorazepam etc) and z drugs (zolpidem&zopiclone) cause amnesia for the duration of their effects. Usually the day after rather than in the moment. The Z's are more amnesiac in my experience but they're a short term sokution and if used for any significant time 1 or 2 weeks and above, you'll experience withdrawals and with that comes horid nightmares if you manage to sleep and all sorts of other nasties. Id you're grieving they can help but use very sparingly! You could of course consult a specialist or even just a doctor foe support. Just be cautious of being thrown antidepressants like a hot potato. They come with significant issues and withdrawals too and are said to take upwards of 3 weeks to even start to work. I have a personal gripe with these things though so maybe don't rule them out entirely on my say so. Hope you find your way. :)

I've been on clonazepam for over 14 years. Yeah, a lot more than nightmares when I withdraw (tremors, skin-crawl, hallucinations, jumpiness, and sleep paralysis) . Also recently was put on seroquel - not a lot, but it knocks me out.... though I'm hesitant to take them because of that. Kinda a weird cycle I guess?

 

[Red Scare]

Been having these everyday since my partner passed away a week ago. No idea how to stop them.

I also have been getting the occasional intrusive thoughts about previous sexual experiences with him. Witch I do not want to think about at all now it's highly inappropriate

Any ideas how to stop this ?

First, I want to say I am so sorry. I know what it's like to lose a partner, last July. The first few weeks were the worst.

I frequently experience flashbacks, and nightmares of my partner's death. While I can relate, unfortunately I can't offer much in terms of healthy coping mechanisms... since I have only been managing it by drinking, using drugs, etc...

I can understand the intrusive thoughts. I had such memories as well, and it sucked because it was just so raw and my grief was so much I didn't want to think about it. I drowned it out with alcohol. Probably not the healthiest, and I am not recommending it, but that's what worked for me... of course, when I say worked, I mean allowed me to sleep. It probably wasn't working out too well for my liver or my personal life, but stuff like this puts you in survival mode, and sometimes you just do what you need to do to survive.

I can't lie and say it gets better, because that hasn't been my experience. But we're all here to commiserate together, I'm sorry I can't be much help. I'm in the same boat myself, I just wanted you to know you are not alone.

 

[lostmylove]

First, I want to say I am so sorry. I know what it's like to lose a partner, last July. The first few weeks were the worst.

I frequently experience flashbacks, and nightmares of my partner's death. While I can relate, unfortunately I can't offer much in terms of healthy coping mechanisms... since I have only been managing it by drinking, using drugs, etc...

I can understand the intrusive thoughts. I had such memories as well, and it sucked because it was just so raw and my grief was so much I didn't want to think about it. I drowned it out with alcohol. Probably not the healthiest, and I am not recommending it, but that's what worked for me... of course, when I say worked, I mean allowed me to sleep. It probably wasn't working out too well for my liver or my personal life, but stuff like this puts you in survival mode, and sometimes you just do what you need to do to survive.

I can't lie and say it gets better, because that hasn't been my experience. But we're all here to commiserate together, I'm sorry I can't be much help. I'm in the same boat myself, I just wanted you to know you are not alone.

I'm deeply sorry to hear this. Grief is terrible, I'm less than a week into this and I'm already fed up.

The intrusive thoughts is messing with me heavy, I've been drinking today and it is suppressing it. Earlier this morning I was getting such thoughts about my partner witch I did not want to have. I'm utterly in love with him my hearts been ripped out :(

You're right I can't see how it gets better at all